Recognizing my own bias or prejudice .....

Posted by ellerbracke @ellerbracke, Sat, Aug 31 5:14pm

I know I am very guilty of classifying people in general, and regarding weight in particular. Living in the bible/heart attack/ diabetes belt, it simply blows my mind how many obese people I see every single day when out and about. Granted, fewer of those at Dillard’s than Walmart. Still, in addition to being concerned, I am also judging those people. I know I should not, but how in the world can someone get that fat? It would take years of dedicated overeating to reach that. No, I really don’t think that all of them have a medical issue, seeing what’s in their grocery carts. Someone help me get a less judgmental attitude when I’ve been semi-denying myself all those chips and cookies and fries for decades?? I live and eat well, but treats should be treats, not daily food.

@gingerw

@lioness My brother-in-law "lives" in Anaheim. When he knows he might be meeting us, he cleans up, but it is apparent he is on the street, nonetheless. I am not sure about mental health evaluation for him, I do know he is an alcoholic and drug addict, again all his choice. The homeless community has a violent side, as they scrabble to survive.
Ginger

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@gingerw. @lioness I think just about all homeless people are either addicts, or have psychological problems. There are some who are there due to difficult circumstances but those homeless people are the ones who trying their best to move forward, not the ones who choose to be homeless and choose to return to it when given opportunities to be employed and have a place to live.
Sane people do not choose to be homeless and live on the street unless their addictions keep them there. My opinion of course.
JK

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@gingerw

@lioness My brother-in-law "lives" in Anaheim. When he knows he might be meeting us, he cleans up, but it is apparent he is on the street, nonetheless. I am not sure about mental health evaluation for him, I do know he is an alcoholic and drug addict, again all his choice. The homeless community has a violent side, as they scrabble to survive.
Ginger

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@gingerw So true and just recently on the news the video was of a homeless trying to wreck a car ,there have been violence to people and animals also I have heard about. I thank everyday I am safe here and there but God go I .

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@contentandwell

@gingerw. @lioness I think just about all homeless people are either addicts, or have psychological problems. There are some who are there due to difficult circumstances but those homeless people are the ones who trying their best to move forward, not the ones who choose to be homeless and choose to return to it when given opportunities to be employed and have a place to live.
Sane people do not choose to be homeless and live on the street unless their addictions keep them there. My opinion of course.
JK

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@contentandwell No you are right . remember in 08 the finances where pulled out from everyone the 401,s went to 0 Some lost there homes and had no place to go except the streets those eventually probably found work but the druggies and alcoholics don't care about getting themselves of the streets and into a job or home . Drugs have ruined a lot of people in this country . and violence in videos my opinion

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@ellerbracke

If you’re into cheeses, TJ is one of the very , very, very few stores (at least near me in SC) that ever carry Camembert cheese. If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry. If you do, and can get it locally, good for you.

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I love cheese and Trader Joe's carries a type called Unexpected Cheddar. It is magnificent. It has those little crunch, crystallized things in it like aged Parmesean. Sooo good and such a bargain – $3.99 for 8 oz.

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@debbraw

I love cheese and Trader Joe's carries a type called Unexpected Cheddar. It is magnificent. It has those little crunch, crystallized things in it like aged Parmesean. Sooo good and such a bargain – $3.99 for 8 oz.

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@debbra I love chedder will have to look for that sounds yummy

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@imallears

@jakeduck
You can re educate your taste buds. You have to be willing to try new things. All my healthy foods I happen to love but I also love cheese cake and pizza. The first time I tasted deer meat (yes Bambi) I didn’t like it so never ate it again but at least I tried it. I have tried bluefish several times and still don’t like it. Wouldn’t try sushi for so many years….took the plunge…oh my so good! Now eat it semi regularly. My love for wine grew over many years from a wine spritzer to a sweetish rose and now only dry whites and full bodied reds. See, there is hope for you…the trick is to get these foods cooked properly and try someone’s else’s if you can…. like the dreaded Octopus.
It ain’t gonna kill ya.

FL Mary

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@imallears
My taste buds are as educated as they care to get thank you very much.
Andrew Zimmerman I’m not.
Since your the one thats “willing to try new things”
You certainly wouldn’t turn down delicacies.
How about a nice juicy eyeball. I saw some Eskimos eating eyeballs on a biography special. They are a bit slippery.
Tuna eyes are common in Japan and are said to taste like squid. So since you like squid your already ahead of the game. I know you like Sashimi, however you should cook your tuna eyes, they are prone to lots of bacteria. If you need a recipe I have one.
Goat, fish, sheep, pig, eyes, all delicacies. Who wouldn’t want to expand their horizons, well, other than myself that is.
Or how about a plate of puppy dog, kitty or some nice creamy brains of pigs, squirrels, rabbits, horses, cattle, monkeys, chickens, fish, lamb and goats. A nice side of spiders might go good with the brains or perhaps a piece of maggot cheese, oh, that’s been outlawed, drat the luck.
Fear not, I haven’t forgot your a wine aficionado
so here is a link to a nice wine that will make your meal even more scrumptious. You did say wine improves the dinning experience didn’t you.
https://www.culinaryschools.org/blog/baby-mice-wine-health-tonic/
Worry not, I haven’t forgot about desert. How about some Akutaq or in case your not familiar with it Eskimo ice cream. Here’s a recipe in case you want it tonight.
https://whatscookingamerica.net/History/Akutaq_EskimoIceCream.htm
I have plenty more wondrous delights but I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Let me know your favorites.

Bon Appetit

Jake

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@jakedduck1

@imallears
My taste buds are as educated as they care to get thank you very much.
Andrew Zimmerman I’m not.
Since your the one thats “willing to try new things”
You certainly wouldn’t turn down delicacies.
How about a nice juicy eyeball. I saw some Eskimos eating eyeballs on a biography special. They are a bit slippery.
Tuna eyes are common in Japan and are said to taste like squid. So since you like squid your already ahead of the game. I know you like Sashimi, however you should cook your tuna eyes, they are prone to lots of bacteria. If you need a recipe I have one.
Goat, fish, sheep, pig, eyes, all delicacies. Who wouldn’t want to expand their horizons, well, other than myself that is.
Or how about a plate of puppy dog, kitty or some nice creamy brains of pigs, squirrels, rabbits, horses, cattle, monkeys, chickens, fish, lamb and goats. A nice side of spiders might go good with the brains or perhaps a piece of maggot cheese, oh, that’s been outlawed, drat the luck.
Fear not, I haven’t forgot your a wine aficionado
so here is a link to a nice wine that will make your meal even more scrumptious. You did say wine improves the dinning experience didn’t you.
https://www.culinaryschools.org/blog/baby-mice-wine-health-tonic/
Worry not, I haven’t forgot about desert. How about some Akutaq or in case your not familiar with it Eskimo ice cream. Here’s a recipe in case you want it tonight.
https://whatscookingamerica.net/History/Akutaq_EskimoIceCream.htm
I have plenty more wondrous delights but I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Let me know your favorites.

Bon Appetit

Jake

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@jakeduck
I have my limits…really…baby mice wine!..omg…however the modern version Eskimo ice cream is fine. I will try most things that I recognize but would really want to know what I am eating….will stick to my preferred diet . Thanks but no thanks. Wonder what they would say about corn dogs and Taco Bell….the home of Unrecognizable meat food products.
Remember Anthony Bourdain? Brave soul he was…..

My turn to “yuck”
FL Mary

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@imallears

@jakeduck
I have my limits…really…baby mice wine!..omg…however the modern version Eskimo ice cream is fine. I will try most things that I recognize but would really want to know what I am eating….will stick to my preferred diet . Thanks but no thanks. Wonder what they would say about corn dogs and Taco Bell….the home of Unrecognizable meat food products.
Remember Anthony Bourdain? Brave soul he was…..

My turn to “yuck”
FL Mary

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@imallears
Taco Bell & Corn dogs, I knew you were a connoisseur at heart. Then stop for a giant pretzel and a milkshake to dip the Corn Dog in and some Cashews and finish it off with a few pieces of See’s candy, ok ok quite a few pieces. Lunch anyone?
Jake

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@jakedduck1

@ihtak46
Let me offer my condolences regarding your daughter. I know many people who have lost children of all ages, mostly from Status Epilepticus or Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. My girlfriend died in an car accident at 17. As horrible as that was I know it pails in comparison to your loss. Somethings you never get over. Many friends have told me there is no greater loss than the loss of a child. If I knew the person I would write a letter telling the parents how much happiness their child brought into my life.
Jake

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Sorry about your girlfriends passing. Horrible!
Jake, thank you. We actually did receive many, many letters and cards telling us how much our daughter meant to them, her community, the places she volunteered at, places she helped snd gave her time, plus her hundreds of students and teachers she worked with. She left way too soon. We certainly werent ready! Parents should pass before their kids. Kirstin was a teacher who truly adored and loved her kids (students).

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@contentandwell

@gingerw There is definitely prejudice against overweight people. When I was much heavier I felt like some people acted like being fat was contagious! Some also seemed to treat me like they thought that since I was so overweight that I must be of low intellect, and some treated me like they thought was sort of pathetic. Now that I am substantially less heavy (I never think of myself as anything other than overweight, still, although my BMI is only about 26 now) there is a definite difference in the treatment I get.
I was not overweight before I had children, I gained weight with the pregnancies and not only didn't lose it, but being at home caused me to continue to gain weight. As much as I loved my children, I was bored. I should not have quit work entirely but in those days companies were not as accommodating as they are now. I am the type of person who enjoyed the positive feedback I received from a job.
JK

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@contentandwell
Had not checked into this subject in a while, just saw your comment. Of course being fat is not contagious, that is ridiculous. However, some time ago I read that there seems to be a correlation between you and the body type of the people you surround yourself with, namely, if most of your friends are slender, you are more likely to be slender as well. Whether this is because you seek similar looking friends in the first place, or whether you try to be more like them, the effect seems to be the same. Supposedly it also works that you are more likely to gain weight if most people around you are heavy.
Also, while everyone is different, and makes their own choices regarding health and weight, I am somewhat grumpy. On both of my recent flights I was stuck next to a) a very tall, very hefty, young man, and b) a very, very, large lady needing a seat belt extender. While it is their business how they got to that point, I was not pleased to have to share my already shrinking seat with overflowing thighs, and other assorted excess body projections, given that I find sitting for long periods difficult anyway, and need some space to change positions from time to time. I also seem to be the one passenger sure to have a wailing baby close by… but that’s another story. Probably for my next 10 hour overseas flight!

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@ellerbracke

@contentandwell
Had not checked into this subject in a while, just saw your comment. Of course being fat is not contagious, that is ridiculous. However, some time ago I read that there seems to be a correlation between you and the body type of the people you surround yourself with, namely, if most of your friends are slender, you are more likely to be slender as well. Whether this is because you seek similar looking friends in the first place, or whether you try to be more like them, the effect seems to be the same. Supposedly it also works that you are more likely to gain weight if most people around you are heavy.
Also, while everyone is different, and makes their own choices regarding health and weight, I am somewhat grumpy. On both of my recent flights I was stuck next to a) a very tall, very hefty, young man, and b) a very, very, large lady needing a seat belt extender. While it is their business how they got to that point, I was not pleased to have to share my already shrinking seat with overflowing thighs, and other assorted excess body projections, given that I find sitting for long periods difficult anyway, and need some space to change positions from time to time. I also seem to be the one passenger sure to have a wailing baby close by… but that’s another story. Probably for my next 10 hour overseas flight!

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@ellerbracke Interestingly, none of my friends were fat! It was meeting new people that I often felt disdain. The group I was friendly with when my children were young all exercised at the Y but I never did. I do think if your friends are all heavy that you may be more apt to gain weight. I see that as being true with some young couples also. I think that has to do with eating the same as your spouse.

That would be very difficult to be surrounded by very overweight people on a flight, particularly a long one like 10 hours! I hope the next time that you go overseas you are surrounded by skinny people.
JK

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@ellerbracke

@contentandwell
Had not checked into this subject in a while, just saw your comment. Of course being fat is not contagious, that is ridiculous. However, some time ago I read that there seems to be a correlation between you and the body type of the people you surround yourself with, namely, if most of your friends are slender, you are more likely to be slender as well. Whether this is because you seek similar looking friends in the first place, or whether you try to be more like them, the effect seems to be the same. Supposedly it also works that you are more likely to gain weight if most people around you are heavy.
Also, while everyone is different, and makes their own choices regarding health and weight, I am somewhat grumpy. On both of my recent flights I was stuck next to a) a very tall, very hefty, young man, and b) a very, very, large lady needing a seat belt extender. While it is their business how they got to that point, I was not pleased to have to share my already shrinking seat with overflowing thighs, and other assorted excess body projections, given that I find sitting for long periods difficult anyway, and need some space to change positions from time to time. I also seem to be the one passenger sure to have a wailing baby close by… but that’s another story. Probably for my next 10 hour overseas flight!

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@ellerbracke
Hi
I hear ya. Crying babies I’ll always forgive. Kicking the back of my seat constantly when the parent is right there is unforgivable.
Sitting next to obese or otherwise annoying people is something we really can’t do anything about unless there happens to be an empty seat. It’s a crap shoot when flying alone and so much better when family is along.
Several years ago coming back from New York with my daughter, son in law and 2 grandkids ((teens), my granddaughter and I were not allowed on the flight because we already boarded. My son in law, who didn’t realize we were not following them in, finally came back out when he saw a woman and a young girl sitting in our seats. We were delayed 20 minutes until the other woman, obviously the grandmother and her granddaughter , came walking off the plane. We found out she was on the wrong flight but had the same seat numbers.
How did she get on in the first place?

Often wish I could teleport myself to my destination. But then I have had the greatest people to sit next to. When smoking was allowed on flights, a women deliberately would not put out her cigarette as we were prepared to buckle up and take off. She smoked it down to the end and then put it out. They couldn’t do anything back then. So we were delayed. I was coming back from Vegas and I kept hoping she had “crapped out” at the dice table lol. They shouldn’t allow drunks on the flights. Don’t know if that has changed.

FL Mary

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Hi @ellerbracke! I'm a little late to the table but I thought I'd chime in to respond to your original post. I've definitely had my fair share of prejudiced beliefs and also grew up in the good old Bible Belt (I say, with sarcasm and love).

It's really tough to not only let go of prejudiced beliefs but to GENUINELY understand why you should. If someone is highly overweight and we also see them making bad eating choices in front of us, we might wonder, why are they doing this to themselves?

I think there are a lot of reasons why people make choices that we don't understand. I'm a thin person and I don't understand how fat people navigate life, but I do know that the world isn't built for them. Airplane seats, bus seats, train seats are for thin people like me, and our culture shames fat people, characterizing them as ugly/monstrous/etc. I'm convinced that the key to beating prejudice isn't so much to understand every little reason as to why people do what they do, but to have empathy for them, whatever circumstance they may be in.

May be easier said than done, but as a LGBT person, I try and translate my perspective to others. I hate when people ask me: why, why, why? Why are you gay? Why do you prefer this type of hair, or this type of lifestyle? Why not something else? When I speak to people who don't need to understand why I make the choices I do, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I feel like that in itself is empathy.

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@imallears

@ellerbracke
Hi
I hear ya. Crying babies I’ll always forgive. Kicking the back of my seat constantly when the parent is right there is unforgivable.
Sitting next to obese or otherwise annoying people is something we really can’t do anything about unless there happens to be an empty seat. It’s a crap shoot when flying alone and so much better when family is along.
Several years ago coming back from New York with my daughter, son in law and 2 grandkids ((teens), my granddaughter and I were not allowed on the flight because we already boarded. My son in law, who didn’t realize we were not following them in, finally came back out when he saw a woman and a young girl sitting in our seats. We were delayed 20 minutes until the other woman, obviously the grandmother and her granddaughter , came walking off the plane. We found out she was on the wrong flight but had the same seat numbers.
How did she get on in the first place?

Often wish I could teleport myself to my destination. But then I have had the greatest people to sit next to. When smoking was allowed on flights, a women deliberately would not put out her cigarette as we were prepared to buckle up and take off. She smoked it down to the end and then put it out. They couldn’t do anything back then. So we were delayed. I was coming back from Vegas and I kept hoping she had “crapped out” at the dice table lol. They shouldn’t allow drunks on the flights. Don’t know if that has changed.

FL Mary

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@imallears
Oh my. Too much to handle, perhaps. Decades ago I enjoyed the quarantine of the smoker section in the very back of the plane……….. like 30 years ago. But the seats there, which we did not use, because we had to stand in the aisle, were bigger.
I simply want to have all of my tiny economy-minus seat all for myself. No other elbows, knees, shoulders…. I paid the absolute minimum for my ticket, and that tiny seat is ALL mine!!!,

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@ayeshasharma : I wanted to do more than just 🙂 your post. All your comments make sense. Tolerance/acceptance is a goal, but first impression tends to include body image. That’s life.

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