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post traumatic stress disorder

Posted by Anonymous-0d0243ed in Mental Health, Mar 5, 2012

Is there anyone that is suffering from this other than the obvious reasons such as a war vet? mine is related to my upbringing and I have nightmares several times a week, reliving the pain, neglect, and verbal abuse. The nightmares are getting more frequent and worse over time. I feel anxious, unfocused, unable to motivate myself to do things that I know would make me feel better, temporarily at least. Worsening depression. My husband is empathic but doesn't understand the affect my upbringing has had on me, it's very dibiltating in many ways.

Tags: mental health

goglo likes this

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 6, 2012

By no means are you alone. PTSD is common in people with childhood trauma and can resurface at any time
please make sure you are talking to a professional because isolation and decreased interest in things that you know will make you feel better can lead to more symptoms and I want to make sure you're ok.
Nightmares are horrible and often feel so real that it can be like reliving the trauma once again.
Be good to yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help for we are blessed with professionals trained in trauma who teach you how to cope and deal with lingering feelings.
Best of luck in your recovery,
Rox 🙂

carolyndc likes this

Posted by @carolyndc, Mar 7, 2012

Hi Roxie, thanks for your response. I don't have any medical insurance and even if I did it looks like none of them cover any mental health issues. I've moved to the United States about a year ago. At home, in Canada, I had just begun therapy using EMDR. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I would jump at the chance to deal with this through a specialist but I just don't have the funds to do so. I feel terribly alone with this, my husband tries to be supportive, God bless him. But if you haven't suffered anything like this, there is no way to try to understand or feel what you're feeling. It has increased dramatically over the past 2 years. I had to move in with my Mom to nurse her until she died. I had to move back into the house where all of the terrible things happened growing up. The nightmares got really bad, and since I've moved on, after her death, the nightmares are not letting up. I don't have anywhere to turn and am very afraid of where this will take me if not treated. Thanks so much Roxie,
Kind regards,


Posted by @bigred, Mar 7, 2012

I cannot say I know what you are going thru because I would be lieing. I do know there's a god that knows it all! Pray to god on this and ask him to deliver you from this! Please believe that he is able and will do it for you! And he will! God bless you

carolyndc likes this

Posted by @carolyndc, Mar 7, 2012

Thanks for the kind words bigred. I do pray, a lot. I know I need to find forgiveness but it's very difficult since it still goes on to this day. And I just turned 50!!! I'm afraid I'll take this to my grave. Does God not put us all here for a reason? Am I being made to suffer through this as part of my purpose in life?


Posted by @roxie43, Mar 11, 2012

Are you in the states now? People without insurance can still be treated. Find you're local state psychiatric facility and walk in and request help. They are funded by the government to treat everyone regardless of insurance.
Take care

carolyndc likes this

Posted by @stardisc, Mar 7, 2012

I used to belong to a Unity Church, a very different concept. they were not stall evangelical but rather focused on introducing life skills and supporting those who hurt. 0 evening they had a healing ceremony. I was the hurting wife of an alcoholic so I felt lost and went up there. The pastor smiled and told me to go sit on that bench over there and help a woman sitting there. Then another woman went actually there was a long line the pastor put his arm around her and called for attention of the whole congregation. After asking her if he couldshare he did tell us all how it was and how grief and stuck in pain she suffered (alot like you). He said come and give her some support. One by one almost 800 people filed up one by one held her in their arms and spoke love and encouragement. I do that today. Put your pain in the sunshine and feel the warm loving accepting understanding and love of your sisters. He can no longer control you. Do find an abused adult child support community on line but above all know that you are truly not alone. no need to be anonymous there is no shame.


Posted by @selrahc, Mar 9, 2012

You arre not alone. My PTSD surfaced with a vengence at age 55. I grew up with alot of neglect and verbal and physical abuse as a child at the hands of both parents and older brother, but especially my mother. For the past 11 years I have been her only caregiver (my dad passed and brother has nothing to do with hert) and I spend alot of my life looking after her needs. My husband hates her and she hates my husband. They have not seen each other in 3 years and it's very very difficult trying to share my time between them both. I'm extremely burned out physically and mentally andhave had cancer and now tremors. I know all too well about the nightmares which I have to this day. My mother now has dementia and has become more need, manipulative and abusive. Her memories of her life are of her being a wonderful mother to me and my brother. Professionals in alzheimers have told me to let her think whatever she needs to think, not try to correct her, and just agree. This is mentally eating at me, because I've spent the last 40 years in therapy trying to let go of things she caused. For now, I am just going with the flow, but, its very difficult and yes, the nightmares have increased. She's now with Hospice and they think she is having difficulty dying because she really does question her mothering. They want me to comfort and let her believe what she wants to believe. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you are not alone. You are not going crazy. Try to love the person that hurt you like they are a stranger and you are doing the right thing for an old frail person. Youve already buried the person that abused you. Your strength will come from handling this the best way you can and if that includes detaching, BUT still loving, you will feel you've done the right thing. It's hard, but hang in there like me and lots and lots of others. I wish you strength and blessings with this difficult job. I send you love.

carolyndc likes this

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 11, 2012

Its frustrating when childhood trauma cannot be addressed with the abuser. Mine died when I was young and by the time they trauma started to surface I had no one to confront.
It definitely hurts because although therapy is helpful I have always wanted to know why. My docs over the years have suggested writing a letter to that person even though I can never mail it and also forgive so I am not held prisoner.
I cannot fathom being in your shoes but you sound like an amazing human being and I hope you find solace in knowing that you never deserved to be treated badly. You did not deserve it as a child nor as an adult.
God bless you.

carolyndc likes this

Posted by @hoagie6, Mar 19, 2012

I have been in a sort of denial about the PTSD I have dealt with and after some recent events, it's like it reared it's ugly head and isn't going away this time. I too have to motivate myself to things as simple as taking a shower. I am married and have 4 kids, 2 that have disabilities. My husband is very supportive as well however I feel so bad when I am so depressed and just can't get myself moving to feel like even doing things w/ our family. So, you aren't alone! As lonely as it feels, you aren't alone!

carolyndc likes this

Posted by @carolyndc, Mar 20, 2012

Hi Melissa, you must have a real tough time having to deal with 4 children, especially having 2 with disabilities. I don't have kids, never could have them. I think it may be God's way of stopping the trail of abuse. I would hate to think that if I'd had kids, I could have passed it on. I've been praying every night about my nightmares, specifically, they have lessened but they have just shifted to different topics, however, still haunting. Are you receiving any kind of treatment? When I lived in Canada I had a wonderful doctor that I worked with. As you may know we don't have to pay for any kind of health care, it's covered with the taxes we pay. But now that I'm in the U.S. I have no support. None. My husband tries to be supportive, but he doesn't get it. So, the anxiety keeps growing, and growing...... please write again, maybe we can be of support to each other. Carolyn


Posted by @marylynette, Mar 31, 2012

I have been dealing with for years, it is the result of childhood abuse which began in infancy and continued for over 20 years. I have suffered with the nightmares, and ttiggers, and the lack of motivation . My husband has been patient and kind, at first he didn't want to even hear anything about my past. Now he understands that by learning what I lived through he canbe more help. I am blessed to have been able to receive good psychiatric care, with medicare as my only insurance at first because I had become so ill I could no longer work and began to receive SSD. I have physical problems as a result of the abuse and so deal with the invisible disability of PTSD and the invisible physical difficulties of an inablility to properly digest food. PTSD is a real illness, and those of us who suffer with it and are not war vets are a rarely even thought about by those various organizations who help vets with PTiSD. It is sad, but true, that PTSD is misunderstood by many, for it both depression and anxiety, and we often do not respond to medications in the same way as others. For me, it has been a strong faith in the Lord and the knowledge that He knows and understands my pain which has been of great help. My docs say I should not have survived the abuse I lived through, but for some reason I did and am learning to accept that there are days when I simply cannot do much of anything..l will not let this illness get the best of me, I am learning that I am not alone, that there is help available, and the abuse was real even though Isometimes find myself thinking it couldn't possibly have happened.

My prayers are with you, and my heart is with you. I have walked in your shoes and you have walked in mine, we have shared in that which no child should ever know, and have survived. Now we can together find ways to live a good and full life, knowing that we are not alone...


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