PAIN : Narcissistic partner, struggling to cope as I am leaving.

Posted by redtulip54 @redtulip54, Oct 4 7:31pm

Hello, I am at my lowest today, I am in real pain. It has been nearly two weeks since I left. I did not think I would hurt this much. If you have any words or good advice, please let me know.
I read so many articles, listened to so many podcasts, and logically understand it all, but my stupid stupid heart is tearing. It is sunny and warm and I see happy couples and birds singing. But, I feel like I am in such a deep black hole. I don't know how to cope. Is it the trauma bond or is it my being just crushed to the core from falling so deep in love and trusting?
I am not strong, I am a naive idiot and nothing I can do about it. The emotional and physical pain is immense.
I can't afford to go to therapist at the moment as it cost me to move.

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baa | @baa | Oct 7 5:47am

redtulip54, the heart wants what the heart wants. But it is that same, trusting and loving heart that makes you special. I know you are hurting now, but without folks like you this would be an irredeemable world. You will get through this, and you will recognize those unacceptable traits in others that could take your joy. We are all flawed and when you let someone into your heart you take that chance. But when
you heal, don’t isolate yourself. There are so many people out there who are kind and loving, looking for another kind loving person (just like you!)
You are correct, and introspection, talk therapy, can always help.
Where did I read - good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.
Look for something to be grateful for today🌺