Pain and Loss of Self Worth

.... I hope you get some positive feedback and also maybe check some previous comments/discussion on here that will help you - I can only say that I am in a similar position having worked since age 16, not a high end job but paid the bills; away from family support in another country; coped with 9 yr abusive marriage, single parent then thankfully remarried a good man; but then many illnesses and have also been non-productive whereas before was busy with job home garden driving raising children etc.... you are not alone and I agree it is even worse not being able to do most of these things now, and especially when we see others around the same age being able to still do many of the things we did!!! so we are not only suffering with painful and poor health but almost a guilt at having to rest most of the time... the mental affect/effect not helping... I don't really have an answer except that most days now I "have" to accept this change! without feeling guilty without pining for the past, but am gradually learning to live with it. I do have a social worker zoom me once a month and she has helped with verbal support and most of all trying to get me to love myself .. love myself the way I am now.. it has not been easy but this "new life" was not my choice but through illness... I hope to read some comments you receive too because am always seeking help: just wanted to say I feel for you and understand... and although it is life altering maybe realizing there are those even worse off - not always helpful I know, but things "could be worse" ... sorry for your pain and suffering, J.

I cannot alleviate your pain but with respect to self-worth I believe you have a lot to give others. With your experience you can mentor, coach, and pass on the wisdom of your life from a recliner. There are a lot of younger executives, college students, and kids that could use your help.

It won't lessen your pain, but it might make you feel good.
Best always,
s!
Scott Jensen

I am 66 and find myself in the same boat. I've worked since age 16 and had to retire at 62 due to my health and to be pretty much the sole caretaker of my mom until she ended up in a nursing home and then passed away last fall. I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis around 5 years ago. Before that, osteoporosis and arthritis. I went to see mom every day at the nursing home until I started having trouble walking. An MRI showed a severe levoconvex scoliosis. I went to a neurosurgeon who sent me for a lumbar injection which finally provided me with relief, unfortunately only for 2 weeks. Next sent me to physical therapy which only made things worse. Then I got a blood clot and was put on Eliquis which stopped the possibility of another injection. Doctor then referred me to another specialist who is sending me back to PT, this time aquatherapy which I start Tuesday... I'm scared to death it will cause more pain and cripple me, but going to try anyway. I'm told if that doesn't work my next step is a spinal cord stimulator. I know exactly how you feel... I wish there was something I could say that would help... I find myself digging out unfinished embroidery type crafts, and have been organizing old photographs to put into scrapbooks... looking into the genealogy of my family to keep my mind off of my situation. Just know you are not alone... I hope things get better for you 🌻

In response to @labgirl
I have not had surgery on my back yet, but it’s pretty jacked up and
I have had to learn to live with the pain because I’m not going to let them pump full of steroids that don’t work anymore any way .
But I know how you are feeling my home is not carpeted so I have to sweep or use to anyway.
I can’t do much house work anymore making the bed, doing the dishes or trying to sweep just causes me so much pain pretty much everything I do hurts so bad .
And it’s so frustrating and depressing
but I to do a lot of sitting around because I just can’t do the things I use to I’m 62 years old , I also have spondylitis and have joined a group called My Spondylitis and I have learned there are a lot of options out there to help with the pain .
Acupuncture is one of them water therapy seem to help make it easer to regain moment and help with the pain I my self have not tried any of these yet, but you should check this support group out you may find some kind of relief and the members are very supportive just some information that might help you find some kind of relief.
I’m going to try the water therapy and see how that works for me.
I hope you can find something that help you because we should not have to learn to live with such debilitating
Pain with all the medical terminology we have now days. Sending prayers and hugs to you hang in there 🙏❤️

I grew up with parents who were certain that they always knew why others did and acted the way they did. It’s taken me many years to foster in myself an openness to the possibility that other people are much more complicated than that. Developing a sense of humility abt. My judgment of others has opened some unexpected opportunities for me —but of course not always.

I have same feeling after a stroke a year ago. Cannot contribute as I used to and I was also very active. The work is to se our inner beingness which has its own beauty just because it’s part of existence. Like a dog or a cat or nature just “is” and has its own beauty without “thinking” they have to contribute to society. A different view of life

You've provided a different way of thinking about this situation. In all the books and articles I've read about positive mindset, I've not read of this analogy. Thank you for your insight and taking the time to respond.........I'll try incorporating your perspective into my thinking when I have "down" days.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It helps just knowing that others feel the same way I do. I'll look into that support group.
Sending support and best wishes to you, also!

Judgement of myself and what others may think is definitely the source of this negative thinking. I'm trying to break the pattern of mind-reading what others may think when I'm not able to do what I used to. Humility about who I am and what I'm able to do now is very important, I agree. I'm working on that, and remembering that my situation is so very much better than many people.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

Reading the responses to my post and realizing that so many others, like you, are struggling with all of the issues that come packaged with chronic pain has been incredibly helpful. I like your ideas about doing crafts and will pull out a crochet project I had abandoned and pick it up again. I think I'll look at craft store websites for other activities that I can do while sitting.
I have read that ankylosing spondylitis is incredibly painful and debilitating. Your strength and resolve are inspiring.

PS- I'm certainly not qualified to comment on the general effectiveness of spinal cord stimulators, but in my case it was not effective at all. If you decide to proceed with it, I hope that you'll experience real relief.
Best wishes to you and thank you for your comments.