Obsessions?

Obsessions and Selfishness.

My husband was diagnosed at Mayo with CAA and it has peaks and valleys. He is 72 and I am 67. He does not need a full time caregiver, but I have to care for him a lot, including cleaning up after he has a bowel incontinence issue. He is very demanding and selfish and we argue a lot, even though I try to just do what he wants to avoid ugliness.

His latest obsessions are buying new things for the house - he is constantly shoving his phone in my face to buy this!
He is also obsessed with sex and often demands oral sex. I have gained 25 pounds and have no desire to lose it- because he will just want more sex.

I have no interest in having sex with him or interest in sex at all. It is difficult to feel romantic under these circumstances when it is all about him.

I do mot expect a miracle cure - I just need to vent.

I pray a lot and talk to Jesus- I know this is my place but I have trouble finding joy. I have given up so much of myself…but Jesus gave his life for me.

He has no hobbies- he does not like to read- do puzzles- or anything to stay busy or engaged.. he had/ has dyslexia and would have been diagnosed with ADD if it was done back then..

I am not retired and I have a full time work from home job. We are not in a financial position for me to retire- partly due to his spending before I took over our finances. He resents my working - but I like my job and it is keeping me sane.

A lot of you have it worse than I do and my heart goes out to you - as well as my respect and admiration.

I wish I could love him in my heart the way that I used to.

Thank you for reading my post.,