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Not knowing how to set boundaries without hurting him
Last month I took your advice and will not marry him. Met with his son who told me to set boundaries. Hard to do. This man is brilliant, a former senator, and very kind. But, when he shows up unexpectedly at my door at 9 am to spend a day and the night, I don't seem to be able to send him back to his house. He is so excited to show me his new shirt or whatever. So, I treat him kindly, listen to his stories and forget my own life. I don't want to hurt him, but inside I am resentful. It is truly MY problem but so new to me to tell an adult what to do. How to manage being firm yet kind. As a result, this coming two weeks I am going out of town for a break. Is there an article somewhere to guide us caregivers?
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Mary, you being away on a trip for a while and his son spending more time with him will impress upon his son what being with him and caring for him involves. That will be a good thing.
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1 ReactionI think so. Son and his wife finally went to his house and they cleaned everything.
Son is irritated with me, but I suspect it is because I told him that my friend needed more
help and someone to visit him more often.
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1 Reaction@maryflorida You are just too much the wonderful caregiver!!!! But don’t let his family put any guilt on you, your friend is not your responsibility. He has a son who is responsible, not you.
Go and have a wonderful time with your granddaughter! And only answer the phone in an emergency. You have earned this time off!
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1 ReactionThank you, and I did do that~ Came home to an angry son who felt he had to step in and help with his dad. I don't care; I am just his friend and not his caregiver. You all help so much!
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