Connect
My wife suddenly died next to me after 40 WONDERFUL years of marriage
I was married for 40 spectacular years. She died next to me in bed almost instantly having an MI ( heart attack) in bd next to me. I still cry every single day. My two sons said that their mm and I were closer that they have ever known. Needless to say, it was like a ton to f bricks hitting me in the head!! Psychiatrist prescribed four anti-depressants to take at bedtime. My medication list looks like an old inventory of Walgreens. I tried dating 3x but none of them worked out. I paid for three expensive dinners and it was a waste of money. Yup , heart my SS. My sone who is an Alzheimer’s and Dementia expert told me I should have gone to three coffee shops, but it felt cheap doing it that way. After dinner two of them just got up and went to their cars, and the third at least said thank you and good bye. Hey, I am no Brad Pitt but I am no Quasimodo either. So now I don’t know where to turn. I hardly ever see or talk to my sons since they are both very busy! I told one of my daughters-in-laws that I was upset about losing my wife. Her immediate response was “You know your son lost a mother and you forget that!” What, anyway just needed to talk to someone and let it out. Yes, had a therapist but it was a waste of time! Both my sons said I am too trusting and too giving. Is that a fault ? Not to me.
Anyway, that is my story and I’m tired of taking all those meds. Physician said don’t stop taking them. I’ll see how it goes from here on. No more dating for me. It wasn’t the money I spent, it was the hurt of hate three women just walk away from me. So now, time will tell!!
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief Support Group.
Connect
@dennismm
Hi, my wife died November 2024 after 60 years of marriage. She was in hospital, but for me her death was unexpected and I still feel bitter about the way the hospital missed signs of infection and reacted too late. I just can't get out of my mind her saying "hold my hand" and "don't go," the night before she died. She knew the end was near, but it wasn't apparent to my family, and the doctors told us nothing to prepare us.
One of my sons lives close by and spends several nights a week here, but when I'm alone, I talk to here and keep thinking she has just gone away and will be back.
Fortunately at age 85 I can still ride my bike with a group 2-3 times per week and dine out a couple times with friends. I am slowly disposing of some of her cycling clothes, but I will keep some. (We rode a tandem together for years). I dread having to empty her closet of all her clothing, although friends have offered to help. There is no urgency.
I understand what you are saying, however I did just the opposite. A week after she died a charity picked up all her clothes. I got so depressed looking at them so I had to get them out of the house.
Tried a couple of Internet dates and they were disasters! They ran out right after the dinner and never saw them again.
My Dr. said don’t look for someone my age, (78) because I’m very active and a much older woman would not be good for me! Problem is how do I date when I compare everyone to my wife and there’s no comparing at all.
Still taking antidepressants but they don’t help much. I’m not sure if I want the Internet or not because I only had bad luck!