My husband has dementia and we think that it's Alzheimer's

Posted by Merry, Alumni Mentor @merpreb, Feb 2, 2023

Hello. My name is Merry and I need help with being a caregiver for my husband. His PCP says that he has Alzheimer's. We are slightly familiar with dementia but it is very different when it is a spouse and not a parent.

I have ordered a couple of Mayo's books. One very basic problem is that I have lung cancer and have needed to leave my mentorship here on Connect (Lung Cancer Group) to help Dave full-time.

To say that it has been overwhelming is an understatement. I am a naturally very impatient person and my thinking is always way ahead of what comes out of my mouth. It doesn't make it very easy for Dave sometimes.

We've been dealing with this alone but now I need support and help so that I can be the best caretaker for my husband. We have been together for 44 years and married for 41. We live in southern New England. He has 2 sons who live in other states and are useless to help him. My son lives on the west coast and has come east once, but to help me after my radiation in October.

Thank you,
Merry

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

powerinnumbers | @powerinnumbers | Mar 11, 2023

It may seem like it’s overwhelming, but I find if we stop using words that are negative it helps.
I was listening to Careblazes and she was saying that put yourself in the person with the dementia shoes. How would you want to be treated that helped me a lot?