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My husband has a TBI can I live with him without any treatment?
Hi, My husband has a TBI. It was three years ago and it's a miracle that he lived. Physically he was able to walk again after 2 months is icu, hospital and then rehab. He hit the front of his head which they advised would affect anger and impulsivity. He is what they consider high functioning. What I bought home from the rehab is the worst parts of my husband. As my daughter once said, "I want my old daddy back". He cancelled all follow up out patient care. Only did two visits to a neurologist after never going back to the one who said he would call the police if he was driving himself home. He wouldn't let me go to any doctor visits with him so he could lie about his marijuana addiction. I insisted on neuropsychologist evaluation or divorce. He went but lied to her about drug use, wouldn't allow me to speak to her and only dod the portion of testing that did not include him talking about anything. He is a lawyer and when she said that evaluation could be used in court he shut down. The he got mad at me because of the cost and yells at me about it all the time. It's been 3 years now and he is so mean and moody. I feel like I'm going crazy. He follows me and accuses me of cheating with people I've never even met. Cusses at me, insults me and in a couple hours tries to be sweet to me. Sees to have sundowning because he gets really mean around dinner time. I can't talk to him about anything without a fight. He drives around day and night vaping marijuana. All doctors told him not to do that in hospital and they only knew because they tested him in the hospital. My question is if he doesn't get treatment for tbi and marijuana is it possible for me to live with him? I'm guessing no but I'm trying everything I can to get him into treatment instead of divorce.
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@tbiwife If you have not already done so, you need to seek counselling for yourself and your child(ren), even if he refuses. It seems your are dealing with two situations - aftereffects of the TBI and cannabis use, overuse, or addiction. This is too much to handle by yourself.
What have you done to protect yourself and your family?
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4 ReactionsMy heart goes out to you. My struggles pale in comparison with my caregiver duties. Agree you need to protect you and your family not only physically and emotionally but also financially. What you describe sounds like he should not be driving. He likely is not capable of rationally making many decisions. Does he have any siblings that might have any helpful influence? In addition to counseling see an attorney for yourself.
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1 ReactionFor the safety and well being of your children and yourself, you need to remove yourself from the situation completely. He's had 3 years to get help and he refuses. Get out before someone gets hurt. This is a terrible environment for children to grow up in.
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2 ReactionsMy brother was in a motorcycle accident over 20 years ago. He came close to death more times than I can count. He was finally released from the hospital after almost a year. He has had to live with a TBI since the accident. While he is not perfect, he does lead a reasonably good life. I am amazed at the things he does. Of course, he has issues with memory, and confabulates to some extent, but my point is, he is enjoying his life. This, however, is nothing like your experience. Was your husband abusive before the TBI? For your safety, and the safety of your children, you want to consider legal separation, if not divorce.
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2 ReactionsHello, It seems that a TBI is a weight upon loved ones surrounding the injured individual. I too have suffered a massive TBI. Every household and injury is different to each other in comparison. I had to leave my partner soon after rehab release, she became abusive due to the fact I was different to who she knew. Behaviours change within whole families when that loved one isn't that loved one until they can properly recover. I had to leave to save myself from domestic abuse, I hope you talk with your partner in a sense that would grow bigger compassion toward each other. It could possibly help him heal faster in the ways you need. I genuinely wish you the best of future.