Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself

Welcome to the Caregivers group on Mayo Clinic Connect.
Caring for someone can be rewarding, but it is also very demanding and can be isolating. Let's use this space to connect with other caregivers, share experiences, talk frankly about the tough stuff without judgement and to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on.

I'm Colleen, and I'm the moderator of this group, and Community Director of Connect. I look forwarding to welcoming you and introducing you to other members. Feel free to browse the topics or start a new one.

Grab a cup of tea, or beverage of you choice, and let's chat. Why not start by introducing yourself?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers Support Group.

@sallysue

Hi Sharon, I'm Shirley caring for my sister with dementia. Keep trying on that computer. You're doing fine.

Jump to this post

I have some of the same with my husband of 87 years. He sees reflections in the windows at night and thinks people are spying on him. He doesn't have a good word to say of our two neighbors who would like to help him, but he refuses to have anything to do with them or even talk to them. They feel bad and I have explained his Alzheimer's diagnosis and assured them that it is not anything they did. But it still makes it difficult since he sits in front of the window and calls them names (not so they can hear him) when he sees them. Makes it very hard for me to not say anything to him.

REPLY

Thank you for telling me that. Before my husband was friendly now he dosen't trust anyone.

REPLY
@sallysue

Hi Sharon, I'm Shirley caring for my sister with dementia. Keep trying on that computer. You're doing fine.

Jump to this post

@rmftucker You seem to be coping quite well with your husband's disorder. The example of how you cope is very helpful to our other members. Thanks for sharing with us. Teresa

REPLY
@sallysue

Hi Sharon, I'm Shirley caring for my sister with dementia. Keep trying on that computer. You're doing fine.

Jump to this post

Hirmftucker: I am sorry you are in a difficult place with your hubby. My husband is 89, has Asbestos and is oxygen all night and part of the day. He loses his temper quite often. He has had several surgeries for different types of cancer. Some tempermetal episodes. It is hard for me as I'm fighting two types of lung cancer too. Our oldest son has moved in with us to do our driving. A really big help. Most of the time I'm ok but I have some mental outbursts too. We have been married 66 years so we both have to cool it. I can't say much, but each time things are somewhat unbalanced I try to just walk into another room, go to the computer, Just something to change the direction of conversation and say a prayer for both of us. Nancy

REPLY

Thanks for all you encouragement. Today has been an exceptionally bad day since he got up at 8 a.m. He is weaker than he has been the past couple weeks, and resents me helping him. I'm so afraid he will slip of the front of his transport chair which he has done a couple times, but he gets to angry when I ask him to move his leg back further before sitting. He has been seeing movement today where there is none, and not sleeping as much as he usually does during the day.
He was always very friendly with all the neighbors everywhere we have lived. He was the first one to visit up and down the street when we would move in. As far as the neighbor resentment, he was very friendly with them when we moved here about 8 years ago. Visited back and forth, exchanged work with them with tree trimming, fencing, yard work, etc. Then about two years ago he became very angry with something that was said (neighbor doesn't really know what happened) and he hasn't spoken to them since. Just makes disparaging remarks and insinuates that I'm having an affair with the one across the street. Claims I am always looking out the window at them.

I'm sorry for rambling on but this morning has been very difficult.

REPLY
@rmftucker

Thanks for all you encouragement. Today has been an exceptionally bad day since he got up at 8 a.m. He is weaker than he has been the past couple weeks, and resents me helping him. I'm so afraid he will slip of the front of his transport chair which he has done a couple times, but he gets to angry when I ask him to move his leg back further before sitting. He has been seeing movement today where there is none, and not sleeping as much as he usually does during the day.
He was always very friendly with all the neighbors everywhere we have lived. He was the first one to visit up and down the street when we would move in. As far as the neighbor resentment, he was very friendly with them when we moved here about 8 years ago. Visited back and forth, exchanged work with them with tree trimming, fencing, yard work, etc. Then about two years ago he became very angry with something that was said (neighbor doesn't really know what happened) and he hasn't spoken to them since. Just makes disparaging remarks and insinuates that I'm having an affair with the one across the street. Claims I am always looking out the window at them.

I'm sorry for rambling on but this morning has been very difficult.

Jump to this post

Hi again @rmftucker Sorry to hear of your bad day.

Only thing I can offer is an observation from my experiences, which is this. Dementia is not logical and so neither are those effected with it. Old ways and styles go and new, stranger ways take their place. Many things will change and be different though no fault of anyone except the darned disease!

Peace and strength,

REPLY
@rmftucker

Thanks for all you encouragement. Today has been an exceptionally bad day since he got up at 8 a.m. He is weaker than he has been the past couple weeks, and resents me helping him. I'm so afraid he will slip of the front of his transport chair which he has done a couple times, but he gets to angry when I ask him to move his leg back further before sitting. He has been seeing movement today where there is none, and not sleeping as much as he usually does during the day.
He was always very friendly with all the neighbors everywhere we have lived. He was the first one to visit up and down the street when we would move in. As far as the neighbor resentment, he was very friendly with them when we moved here about 8 years ago. Visited back and forth, exchanged work with them with tree trimming, fencing, yard work, etc. Then about two years ago he became very angry with something that was said (neighbor doesn't really know what happened) and he hasn't spoken to them since. Just makes disparaging remarks and insinuates that I'm having an affair with the one across the street. Claims I am always looking out the window at them.

I'm sorry for rambling on but this morning has been very difficult.

Jump to this post

It's ok to ramble to us because it doesn't seem like rambling. You are in a very difficult situation with him. Hopefully this stage will be short for him. There is no real time line nor logic to any type of dementia. You are doing your best for him and that is what matters. Praying for you.

REPLY

Hi everybody, I'm reading comments on people experiencing fear in their homes. I used to be on prayer team at church. It did happen a couple times that people were afraid of being in their homes. Different reasons. They would ask for pastors help from church. Our solution was to take olive oil to homes and anoint the house or apartment. Touch each wall, put some over windows and doors, command evil to leave, ask for God to bless house. That's what we have done and it did help people. But that's a church community working under authority of a pastor and elders. It's a spiritual remedy.

REPLY

I Pamela is a care giver for my husband with Amyloidosis disease. He is now home on Hospice care. He talks and is good spirit. But I have a hard time coping not knowing what to expect as the condition progress.

REPLY

My husband is 65 and has had Alzheimer's for 5-6 years. Is there a group for younger couples?

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.