Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself

Welcome to the Caregivers group on Mayo Clinic Connect.
Caring for someone can be rewarding, but it is also very demanding and can be isolating. Let’s use this space to connect with other caregivers, share experiences, talk frankly about the tough stuff without judgement and to provide a virtual shoulder to lean on.

I’m Colleen, and I’m the moderator of this group, and Community Director of Connect. I look forwarding to welcoming you and introducing you to other members. Feel free to browse the topics or start a new one.

Grab a cup of tea, or beverage of you choice, and let’s chat. Why not start by introducing yourself?

@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

shortshot80)Nancy, Sometimes my attitude needs adjusting. Sometimes I wish I could cry, But, all my life I have been told that crying just stuffs up your nose and you get a sore throat. So I have always stomped off (strong) talking to myself, with no good answers. I still
do that sometimes. Go outside and do “HeavY” work of some sort till all the feelings are gone. For better or worse, I have never hit my kids when they were young, or anyone else when I’m stomping! It’s hard for me to talk to a “doc” of any kind about my feelings. I do have a appointment tomorrow to try to “talk”. Will see how that goes. All the doc’s tell me that it’s ok to cry, yeah! right. Doesn’t happen very often, even now with the cancers that is roaming through my body. Of course I should not lift anything heavy (I know that, I’m an old lady) but when the emotions get tense, I do things sometimes and then maybe if I hurt some I can cry. I’m sure my doc tomorrow would like to read this. They would probably throw the key away. “Such is life in the tall tall timber! Nancy

REPLY
@mojo1965

Hi there,
My name is Monika and I’m definitely more of a health care “manager” than caregiver because we have 24hr care for my dad (81) in his home. He has Parkinson’s and dementia and after he broke his hip and had surgery, he suffered a rapid decline. He is in bed approximately 21 hours per day. We had to create an environment for him to live downstairs ie. Wet room, accessible bathroom, hospital bed etc. My mom (76) spends alot of her day preparing 4 course mini meals that are minced, 3 times per day upstairs in the kitchen.
My mom was my dad’s princess and they were each other’s best friends for 58 years. I’m an only child and my role is to manage all the various caregivers and agencies we deal with in Canada and to be on top of my mom’s mental health as well as the admin of their business I am winding down. She has trouble coping with the entire situation. ..so many people coming and going, the constant hours of food prep, my dad’s diminished state ( he recognizes everyone and sometimes understands conversations) but he has absolutely no speech or reading/writing ability. I am not working so that I can spend my days with both of them. My husband and child are super supportive and pitch in whenever needed. I admire all the caregivers I see here and certainly I have a much easier role…but I’m learning so many things to help both my parents.
Thank you, Monika

Jump to this post

shortshot80)Nancy… Monika, you really need to have a couple days a week for your self and your family.. Some how schedule the caregivers so that you have time for yourself. IT is important you remain “sane”. You can not possibly do it all. One of the days, take your mom out to the beauty shop. Get her hair washed * groomed, with lunch. She needs to get away too. You will be pleasently surprised on how you both feel. Sometimes just getting out in the sun with a walk can do wonders for the body. Please consider everything and make a date with your mom and (go climb a tree and sway in the wind) That is fun, did it when I was younger many times in the summer. Nancy

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

2shortstop80 – Nancy I have always been like you and didn’t allow myself to cry. My situation is much different from yours but I do allow myself to cry in private these days. They tell me it helps – not sure but can’t seem to stop myself. Take care of you an remember that you have friends you don’t even know – cheering you on and saying many prayers and sending good vibes your way. Wish I could to more. Trish

REPLY

shortshot80)Nancy…..Trish, Thank you, I know you are right, I might unconsciously, drop a tear or two, but not really cry. I’m 84, and it’s hard to change.
I just seem to hold it all in, and I have see the “shrink” tomorrow and talk about everything for one hour. One Blessing is that I don’t hurt from the radiation.
Just tired, they told me that would happen and may stay a while. Hope the other lung cancer will not grow at all, nothing can be done for that. Thanks again Trish. Nancy

REPLY

My husband had radiation and was also tired. He had his radiation at 9:00 am, then I brought him home and convinced him to eat a little and he would take a long nap. While he napped I went to a Pilates class and then I came home and in the late afternoon would take him out for a while. Maybe just to the park to watch the kids play in the water – nothing strenuous but outside in the fresh air. I pray you have someone to take care of you. I hope you don’t mind but I have added your name (Nancy) to my church prayer list. I don’t attend since my Tom became so ill but they are still my friends. Hang in there, Nancy, and if you need to vent, I am here. Hugs coming your way. Trish

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

I don’t like to cry either, it makes your nose red and doesn’t change anything. So I do what others are telling you…I find something to do, to release my frustration, my fear, and my anger. It’s okay to stomp off sometimes. Doesn’t make you a bad person and works as a release valve. We all have those days. Hang in there, my e-friend.

REPLY
@tntredhead

My husband had radiation and was also tired. He had his radiation at 9:00 am, then I brought him home and convinced him to eat a little and he would take a long nap. While he napped I went to a Pilates class and then I came home and in the late afternoon would take him out for a while. Maybe just to the park to watch the kids play in the water – nothing strenuous but outside in the fresh air. I pray you have someone to take care of you. I hope you don’t mind but I have added your name (Nancy) to my church prayer list. I don’t attend since my Tom became so ill but they are still my friends. Hang in there, Nancy, and if you need to vent, I am here. Hugs coming your way. Trish

Jump to this post

shortshot80)Nancy tntredhead, I would be very pleased if you add me to your church prayer list. I belong to a small church here in my small town in Oregon and am on the prayer list here and a few other places as well. Thank you so much. I know prayer helps, God is there for me. (Iknow). I understand the tiredness from radiation.. Just finished my five sessions on July 16. Still tired, anxious and whatever else is out there. Thanks Red! Nancy

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

shortshot80 Nancy) sometimes I picture the “giants in the little story “Jack & the beanstalk” stomping across the sky, tearing across the tearing things up,. It helps to a certain extent. At least it takes my mind of a lot of things for a while. Nancy

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

What a fun way to talk about crying – your nose gets red! Love it. I have found something to do to occupy my mind – I have having the interior of my house completely repainted which makes lots of work for me emptying closets and then putting things back together again. Doing it in phases and the first phase should be finished tomorrow other than the art work. So I can look forward to a weekend of putting things back in place.
We open our hearts on this site and I want to share a very good thing that happened to me today – a very rough day for some reason. I was in my kitchen an the tears started flowing, one of my painters walked in and saw me crying and said “I’m a hugger and you look like you need a hug”. this sweet young man – probably in his 20’t, standing 6’2″ or so walked over and just said “It’s OK to cry”. Now I am 75 and we hear mainly about the bad things our young people do – I just wanted to share this random act of kindness from someone who is hired to work in my house. It made me feel like my grandson was here giving me his special “gramma” hug.

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

An angel in disguise. Thank you for sharing that story.

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

Thank you for sharing. We all need a hug now and then. It seems that young man was in the right place at the right time. Now to get my hug.

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

Vshortshot80 ) Nancy…Hello everyone. This last weekend has been a crazy weekend. Last Friday June 16 I had my last radiation. So my appt was at 10 am, finished this a had to wait for the Doctor. He wanted to see me.He checked me over, Gave me a “Diploma” for finishing all my sessions. Told me he would call my cancer doctor and then after discussions will call me and tell me what will happen now. So we drove home 65 miles. Arrived home fixed a quick lunch. I was really tired. My husband (89) wanted to take a shower. He went into the bathroom, cut his depend off and caught his catheter with the sissors, and the catheter fell out. Well we called his nurse who drove about 45 miles to get here. She tried four times and could not get it in. So told us that she called the emergency room at the hospital and for us to go there now. Away we go. Arrived in the emergency room and three nurses tried to put the catheter in ans failed. So now the doctor comes in and tries to get it in and he can’t do it ether. So tells us he will try to get the urologist for us on Monday. Now Bob has a new depend on with a pad to catch the blood that was happening while everyone was trying to put the catheter in. So Bob jr, oldest son who lives with us to do the driving and what ever else. Anyway calls # 2 son Randy who lives close to the hospital to come and get me and take me home, after five hours at the hospital. I was really tired after everything that happened. Well # 3 son Richard was here at the house with his two friends Jerry & Dave. Dinner time…..So I had hamburger in the refrigerator. So Richard got busy and started cooking spaghetti for dinner. Now dinner is over, time is about seven. Dinner over, get the dogs outside,
I want to bed. Went into the bathroom, Wow! Another job to do is to mop up all the urine. Finished that job, bucket of hot purex water.
Now it is Monday morning, have called the doctor at 8am. 10:30 now and still have’ not heard anything. If I thought a beer or drink would help my attitude at this point I would take the whole bottle, but that won’t help, Prayers at this point is better. Just got hold of the doctor,, Bob jr us taking Bob Sr in to the doctor. Not only the catheter he is having a problem with his oxygen this morning. So driving 25 miles to the doctor and back. I will guard the phone the rest of the day. Note: we live in not quite the boondocks, but 25 miles either direction from a hospital. But we are happy and that is all that counts. Nancy

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

My prayers are with you. It can be so exasperating.

I’m also at a stressful place with my 87 year old husband. He has been at the Senior Behavioral Health unit at our local hospital for 6 weeks waiting for placement in a Care Center. The local ones all tell us they don’t have room but will put him on the waiting list. When they call that a room is available, they all say he isn’t a good fit at the present time because of his medical report. I’m beginning to think he is being held hostage because of the Medicare political issue right now and Care Centers are unsure of payments. He will need to receive Medicare as we just don’t have assets enough for long-term care. He is a Korean Veteran and the local county Veterans commission is helping us but there is still at least 2 – 3 months waiting list there. Just so frustrating.

REPLY
@shortshot80

shortshot80) Nancy Well, they did not do any surgery, he came home and told me that they are going to do the surgery next week on Tuesday) hopefully the small baby catheter will not plug or cause him any problems. Another small thing happened yesterday. Have a pretty large tree that has a enormous amount of leaves on it. Well the large limb in the middle of the tree.The wind yesterday blew pretty hard and the weight of the limb swaying just broke>
Wow! I needed another lemon to work with. Sometimes so many lemons drop out of the sky, that you can’t make lemonade!I’m going to just rest today, I have a small head ache, so will just watch tv. Hey guys/gals Thanks for listening and for all the prayers. Nancy

Jump to this post

One day at a time, my friend.

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.