Married Men and Sex

Posted by Native Floridian @nativefloridian, Nov 25, 2011

Does anyone think there is anything wrong with a married man having fantasy life about other woman?

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@sykes1973

Yea, it’s wrong. Fantasy may become reality someday.so don’t go there!

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You felt violated because you were.

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@sykes1973

Yea, it’s wrong. Fantasy may become reality someday.so don’t go there!

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Gosh. I wish I could think that it is one sided. I appreciate the response though. But in the interest of the relationship, I was somewhat weirded out by the whole thing. I don’t know what more that I could have done other than show my affection and how much I care. I think the who relationship, knowing that we are now getting a divorce, was based on sexuality. It was kind of like a sickness. I had my own issues to deal with – mental health wise – but with the way that things went, it was like I was being taught a lesson. I just don’t understand the circumstances why a fantasy and a fantasy person would be so much more attractive than being with your partner in real life – to the point of alienating the person you love. Strange. But it is a real life situation. Unfortunately, we have both decided to move on. It was for the best, but not without a lot of heartache – due to the natural tendency to be with another person after so long.

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@sykes1973

Yea, it’s wrong. Fantasy may become reality someday.so don’t go there!

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I’m sorry your marriage is ending, I think you are better off without a woman that is fantasizing about another man when she is with you. For whatever reason she did so, it is much healthier mentally for both of you to be away from one another. I don’t think people that truly love one another fantasize about others. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I’d like to believe that healthy men and women partners can love one another for who they are and not get caught up in some sexual addiction with a fantasy. I personally think that the only reason people get into the fantasy sex is because they are trying to make themselves feel better. Orgasms make people feel good. Some people are addicted to them just like some people are addicted to drugs or alcohol. Sexual addiction is common in our society. I don’t think it means everyone that has fantasy sex has an addiction, just that it is not a normal loving partnership if one practices the fantasy sex because they are either not in love with their partner or have some sort of anger towards them that prohibits them from loving them.

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@sykes1973

Yea, it’s wrong. Fantasy may become reality someday.so don’t go there!

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It is refreshing to read something that seems so honest and normal.

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@sykes1973

Yea, it’s wrong. Fantasy may become reality someday.so don’t go there!

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Sorry to read of your plight. Maybe you were being punished. My husband punished me for a long time before I realized it. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out.

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would you feel the same if your wife expressed the same interests? i think not.

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I would be suprised if someone told me he has never had a fantasy about other woman irrespective of marriage. Attraction and fantasy are normal biological reactions.
Pornography is also fantasy, which is popular recreation for millions of men and is harmless. Not to act on your particular fantasy is to respect society norms. If your fantasy is likely to consume you so much that you will one day be driven by temptation to act it out you are in a dangerous zone. If the fantasy is innocuous it is wise not to share with your spouse.

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Pornography is not harmless. I definitely disagree with that statement. Married men that view pornography are harming their relationships with their wives. It is degrading to women and not at all honoring a mate behaving in that way. Husbands don’t realize how hurtful viewing pornography is to their wives.

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Fantasies can be healthy and acting on them means the time for a divorce has reared its head.

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@china

Fantasies can be healthy and acting on them means the time for a divorce has reared its head.

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Healthy in what respect?

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@sykes1973

Yea, it’s wrong. Fantasy may become reality someday.so don’t go there!

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Healthy fantasies I like that.

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I do believe in the logic behind the marriage If we only reserve our sexual desire within our marriage then it means we do not place others into our sexual fantasy but we would want to explore our sexual relationship with our individual partner. That also would leads to another level of respects for man and woman to have a higher ground of what we should be thinking of others. In other words, a man should not think of a woman as a sexual objective that he could having a sexual fantasy towards her since she is not your wife. The woman is actually a mother of someone who they have much respect for. The woman who could be someone’s love one. To fantasizing over someone does not need to be in a sexual way alone, a healthy fantasy then should not be a sexual thought since there is only limits for each one of us to have a sexual partner. This is all very much an idealist and only claims it’s not wrong since I have done nothing that has happened in my mind, however, when we have a clear understanding about sex and marriage then we should know what exactly is the right or wrong thing to do. Practice makes perfect applies to all occasions.

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