Love is all there is

Good morning from a fellow sleep-deprived caregiver.

First, whether you believe in God or not, I want you to know that I believe that there is a positive force in this Universe and that there are good people (like our Mayo Clinic Connect Community Director), who have our backs.

Second, I also want to share that it doesn't matter whether or not the "calvary is...coming," as long as you love.

From a caregiver's perspective, love often feels like a one-way street, especially when the person for whom we provide care doesn't smile, can't talk, or never initiates tenderness. Although any of those scenarios may be hurtful, they are also gifts: Pain teaches us to open our hearts even further than we realize is possible, and to continue to give all the love we have. As the song goes:

At the end of this journey, it matters not how much we acquired or achieved in this life: all that really matters is whether we loved regardless of whether we feel we were loved in return. (When we feel lacking in love, perhaps we have unrealistic expectations, or we have lost sight of God's eternal love.)

And when we on occasion ask God, "where are you God?," the answer may be found in many things of grandeur--and in many small moments of grace or good fortune. For example, several months ago, I left the keys in the ignition of my car with the engine running while I was at the doctor's office with my husband; but no one drove off with our car. Another example: Last night I left the garage door open, and the door that leads into our house from the garage unlocked; but we did not have any intruders. (Hopefully, these examples of my mindless acts will make some of you feel better about yourselves--real life, action heroes!--and about things like losing or misplacing your keys, glasses, wallets, etc. (things we do when we are overtired or overwhelmed).

In closing, again, love--and keeping our perspective and sense of humor--is all that matters; so we can't sweat the little things. To drive this point home, I want to share a story: I called a fellow caregiver and told her that my husband rinsed his urinal in our kitchen sink. She laughed so hard, and could barely speak when she was telling me that her husband rinsed his diapers in her kitchen sink because he didn't want her to know that he had diarrhea!

Be well, and enjoy the day because this is the BEST day. It keeps going downhill from here; so be grateful and prepare yourselves for the journey ahead. My heartfelt thank to the members of this forum.
You are my calvary.

Love and prayers,
George's Wife