Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the “D” word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

Jump to this post

@parus , I know that feeling very well. People think depression is all about sadness, but that's just a small part of it. Physical and/or mental conditions and illnesses do contribute to the problem. When we are no longer able to function as we did in our younger years, especially, it can be depressing. We look at all these younger people and some times think " life is wasted on the young." When I was younger I did not have the patience that I have now. And I was always considered an extremely patient person. My husband's health is so precarious that any plans we make may be changed st the very last minute. My health was that way for years, so I do understand his situation. Mine could change at any moment. I could have a Fibro flare and find myself totally incapacitated. Sometimes I drive the GrannyScooter at the grocery store, knowing full well some folks think I'm taking advantage of it. I don't care anymore. Life is to be lived. And I will find a way to make it work. Most days! Love and hope to you!

REPLY

If you Google The Toronto Star July 30,2018 "Stimulating research into brain disease " there you will find in interesting article about treatment for depression as an option for people who do not respond to medication.
Ainsleigh

REPLY
@sharlynn62

Hi Seeker 70,

By no means are you alone in your desperate wish to come out from under the dark cloud and see the sun again (this is how I visualize depression sometimes). I, too, have been dealing with some level of depression since I was a teenager. I have been taking medications (too many) for several years and seeing a therapist every week as well. Sometimes I feel so trapped in this life of misery. I also have several chronic physical problems that make it hard to live a ” normal” life and feed the depression.

I think there are two major things I want to say. One is that you must believe and let others know that depression is an illness just like diabetes or heart disease. You didn’t bring this on yourself and you can’t just “change your attitude” and make it go away. I was told to “pull up my boot straps” and get on with life, when I was a teenager and it just shows that people need to be educated about mental health. One thing I’m involved in that helps me is advocacy for people who have mental health concerns. I work on an anti-stigma campaign in my county and am involved in peer support (being with others who face similar struggles and providing support to one another).

This leads to my second point. You are very intuitive and obviously have not lost hope as you are reaching out to others for support. For me, this is one of the most important things that I can do to help with my recovery. It’s difficult, though, because I haven’t found many people of my age (I’m 55) who are interested in listening to a “boring old sad woman” (this is how I feel about myself a lot… part of my depressive symptoms include very low self esteem and negative self image). However, when I find someone who wants to listen and wants someone to listen to them, it’s marvelous and hopeful.

So, I would be glad to talk with you some more, if you are still wanting to discuss what you’re experiencing , etc. Let me know with a post here and we could possibly exchange email addresses. I often have to remind myself so I think it’s important to say this to you…You are not alone! Take care.

Jump to this post

@gailb , you are right. I know that my medical team is under so much pressure. I do try to be patient with them. I don't mind the waiting, as I always bring a book to read with me. That's about the only time I can sit down long enough to read from a book. Fortunately I have learned a little bit about how the system works. I don't take offense anymore if there's a wait. I practice mindfulness and it helps me greatly to just appreciate each moment. I remind myself there are other people with needs just as important to them as mine are to me. You never know what is going on behind the scenes. Good opportunities to work on trust issues, as well. Well, that's all I got for now, as they say here in my little Southern corner of the world! Love you, girl!

REPLY

Hi, @ainsleigh — I've merged your post on brain stimulation for depression for those who do not respond to medication here, as many members have been talking about long-term depression in this discussion.

Are you looking into pursuing some form of brain stimulation therapy?

REPLY
@farmor

Have you tied CBD oil?

Jump to this post

not comfortable with the idea. am reading about it's pro/cons. My anxiety/panic attacks start B4 I even get out of bed in the morning. Every day. once I'm up seems to subside a bit. I take Trazodone at bedtime.take Citalopram every am.Thanks for the suggestion.

REPLY
@kdo0827

I’m really struggling these past 3 days. I’m being weaned off of Trazadone-cold turkey, tapering off Lexapro and Remeron and then they started me on Cymbalta. I also take Methadone. This is all being done to help me as I finally found a dr who realized I’ve been on a tremendous cocktail of meds. I’m having every withdrawal symptom possible. He called to check on me (on a Saturday) and said I may be experiencing seratonin syndrome and to quit the Lexapro immediately and to give it a few more days. Has anyone else been thru this? It’s unreal. Please pray for me.

Jump to this post

Praying for you kid I can SO relate.

REPLY
@lisalucier

Hi, @ainsleigh — I've merged your post on brain stimulation for depression for those who do not respond to medication here, as many members have been talking about long-term depression in this discussion.

Are you looking into pursuing some form of brain stimulation therapy?

Jump to this post

Hi Lisa
No-I am fine on my medication but I like to share info. that I read about in the paper in case it may be helpful to somebody else.
( I am interested in the medical field).
Ainsleigh

REPLY
@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

Jump to this post

Thank you, my prayers are with you too dianajane.

REPLY
@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

Jump to this post

Thank you for your kind words.

REPLY
@anniegk

You are not alone seeker. I am going through the same feelings you are plus Amxiety/Panic. I am also a senior that just wants to live peacefully and enjoy my husband, daughter and grandaughter before it's too late. Are you on medication?

Jump to this post

Yes. Just to live peacefully one day at a time. Thats all I desire as well. My wish for you, too.

REPLY
@anniegk

You are not alone seeker. I am going through the same feelings you are plus Amxiety/Panic. I am also a senior that just wants to live peacefully and enjoy my husband, daughter and grandaughter before it's too late. Are you on medication?

Jump to this post

always

REPLY
@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

Jump to this post

Thank you LoveToAll. I think it is feeling like I am all alone. You began to think you are the only one that has this. You look around at all the other people…they are living, laughing going on with life. You want so bad to be (normal) ???. Yes, the worst thing is feeling alone and that you arn't enjoying life like you should.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.