Liver and Pancreatic Duct Dilation
I have been struggling with this condition for 2 years, and currently waiting to get an appointment with a GI specialist at UCDAVIS. In the meantime, my doctor has been ordering many lab tests, one of which confirmed a diagnosis of hypogammaglobulinemia. He advised that I need 3 more lab tests to confirm what he is looking for, so I will get them done this week. While I am anxious for many reasons already described, I am beginning to feel somewhat more hopeless as a result of this new information. I do not dwell on my disease process, I stay as busy as I can; however, I have found it is the fear of "not knowing" that bothers me the most. I am an information junkie, asking many questions and things of that nature. I feel myself being more tired than usual, but force myself to continue with my routine of walking, lifting weights, art work, cooking for others, and anything else to keep my mind focused on the moment. I must admit that sometimes while engaged in my painting, I stop and ask myself, "to what purpose am I continuing to do these things?" Does anyone else feel this way? It has been especially difficult because the therapist I was working with abandoned me so suddenly and I have not been able to find another therapist to talk to at this time. The company she worked for completed an internal investigation, of which I was a part of, and that in itself was stressful. The company sent me all of her treatment notes, and I have been unable to allow myself to read them. Medical records I am fine with and have a grasp of the concepts, but psychiatric records about myself almost seem so damning for lack of a better word.