Limiting internet use for sister with dementia

@ml318 Welcome to Mayo Connect. This is a n unusual and interesting question. I will preface my reply - definitely not an iPad person here. But in the Android and PC world, there are a lot of apps and programs available, usually termed as "parental controls" for limiting hours of use. There are also email programs which require "approval" before sending a message into the ether.
Can you look into some of those?
Sue

Hello@ML318, I clicked “Reply” to Sue, Volunteer Member as there did not appear to be a way to Reply to you.

I am NOT a tech person at all, but I do know with an iPhone you can turn on “Do Not Disturb”. I have mine set to DND between 9 p.m. and 8 a.m. There is also a way to set it so certain people can reach you. (Family or whatever). I do not know if there is a way to do this for OUTgoing calls or messages. I hope you get help from someone far smarter than I! Best wishes…

I wouldn’t worry about it. The people she is writing to and calling can choose to not answer the call, put their phones on nighttime “do not disturb”, or block her number, then call her themselves at their convenience to chat. They can delete the e-mails without reading them.
The people who know her know that she is in assistive living, I’m sure the recipients have figured out there are cognitive issues too. Most people will be kind and ignore any inappropriateness. Those who don’t can be politely cued in. Those who won’t leave it alone can be ignored.
The facility will handle any really inappropriate calls (like 911).

Thank you to both of you for responding. I will continue to search. So far, I looked into Family Link but when setting it up, it wouldn't send me the notification code. 😔 This is an app to remotely turn off her phone. I'll keep you posted. I appreciate your responses to me.

Have you contacted the cell provider to put parental control on her phone. And perhaps if you go on Apple website they will provide you with steps to put parental controls on her iPad

On an iphone, you can use Assistive Access under Accessibility. You can just look up iphone Assistive Access - I just did this yesterday for my father in law and it is working great. You can also set up focus times on the iphone, so that the apps you don't want to work during that focus time, are sort of grayed out. It can be over-ridden by the user, though. I haven't looked at the ipad for that same function, as he doesn't have one, but I'm here trying to find out how to limit his computer usage - he keeps getting into his financials and making a mess!

My husband is beginning to have problems with his computer. He depends on it and is on it most of the day. I'm worried he'll do something crazy but so far all he's done is mess up his access to wifi. I want him to be able to use his computer, partly because I don't want him using mine and also because he relies on it for sports news and stats. Like many/most old people, neither of us is adept with technology. Hubs doesn't have a cell phone and depends on me to make any phone calls. He's very aware so it's not as if he were completely out of it. I'd say we're in an intermediate stage and it's hard to know how to handle an adult who believes he manages most things well. The things he can do, he does very well, but bit by bit I'm taking over more. I feel like we're in a very gray area.

Navigating the web with a loved one who has dementia is definitly a challenge! My sister calls me everyday to ask me how to do things ( like take a screenshot, or find her pictures etc). The problem arises when she decides to try and fix something herself. Then I have to figure out what she did and try to undo it. Occasionally, because she also has paranoia she will hit forgot my password and change it without writing it down. Ugh:( she really enjoys looking at utube videos, and the family has a group text that she is on. If I take away her cell phone and computer, then she loses those connections. But on the other hand, she is clicking on a lot of spam. We both have android phones, so the iPhone suggestion from clewis won't work for me. I still haven't found a way to restrict her phone and computer to only specific sites . I wish I had the skills to develop something like that.
In terms of taking over things, it is very hard because they need to be functional and do things. I took over in baby steps. For example: we balanced her checkbook together and she only wrote checks when I was there .( even thought it took 3 times longer to complete) Eventually, she was too confused and angry, so I took it over completely. The balance is hard and time consuming, but it helps them feel useful and capable. I feel your pain. Hang in there! We are all in this together and we do what we can for our loved ones. You are doing all you can and that is enough. There is no right or wrong here. My standard thought is, what would I want someone to do, if the roles were reversed and I act accordingly.

Senior Planet is a resource for people over 60. I volunteered there from 2013 to the pandemic. the website is seniorplanet.org. For technical help (set up parental controls on phone or ipad) the Tech help line is 888=713=3495 many times you have to leave your number (with brief description of your need as not all techs know EVERYTHING) and someone will return your call. It is totally FREE

Thank you so much for this information. I will definitely check into it!