Managing Lifelong Mental Health as a Senior

Posted by georgette12 @georgette12, Jan 13, 2017

I have just started using this site so this is my first message.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health group.

@georgette12

Here i am again. As i was going to say in my silly post about grammar….but didnt…today is the 7th month of my sons death. He hanged himself before i got a chance to fly to chicago to save him. I did call the mobile crisis team there…they sent five cops but they didnt take him and hospitalize him. Thats because he did not actually have the rope around his neck. I am not joking. When i worked in a crisis center …i found out that the law just will not allow cops and mental health pros to take someone from their home unless they are in IMMEDIATE IN THE MOMENT RIGHT THEN AND THERE READY TO KILL THEMSELVES…OR KILL SOMEONE ELSE….RIGHT WHEN THE COPS BANG ON THEIR DOOR!!!!.
So my son called me in colorado and screamed at me for sending them. And the next day he made good on his plan. He had been researching for a year…the most effective and painless way to kill himself…and he sent me dozens and dozens of texts during that entire time….which i have printed out and have saved…..detailing his findings. But ….in this case….words didnt matter. In this case…the cops needed more….and they certainly got it…as they say…”a picture is worth a thousand words.” unfortunately they didnt get to see “the picture”. Only the firemen did…when they found him three days later when they broke his door down. And only then…they found him because neighbors complained. Sorry…TRIGGER ALERT!!! I will stop right there. I am hoping very sincerely that my story did not trigger anyone.
Anyway my point is that i did get to chicago and did get to his apartment but, unbeknownst to me and his brother, the landlord had not arranged for the “crime scene” to be cleaned. It was originally a possible murder… As there were reasons to consider this…so they did the whole yellow crime scene tape. I have no idea who cleans apartments after such dastardly deeds…and i guess this poor landlord didnt know either. Anyway i will spare you all and not tell you what i saw and experienced when i opened the door. There are enough cop shows on TV…and i am here to tell you that we need to be eternally grateful for the law and medical and other professionals who work under such extreme circumstances…they are special special people who allow us…the ordinary joe and jane…to not have to deal with such horrific things.
Well…i again have been really wordy here…so i think i will sign off for the moment and watch the latest situation comedy on TV…THE LATEST NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. Sending hugs to all…love g.

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@georgette12 I appreciate your sharing about this very difficult time in your life. We are all rewarded and enlightened by your openness and candor. My one thought is that you did try to help your son by calling the police to talk to him, in other words, you did what you could. I appreciate your participation in our forum! Teresa

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@hopeful33250

Hello @georgette12 and welcome to Mayo Connect. You have joined a wonderful online community of folks who are interested in health topics and sharing information about what has helped and encouraged them. Please feel free to share with us as to what brought you to Mayo Connect. Is there a specific health issue you or a family member/freind is dealing with? All of us came to Mayo Connect as a result of some health-related issue and we have found support and help along the journey. We look forward to getting to know you! Best wishes. Teresa

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I too am an alcoholic. I am depressed so much that my world is crumbling down in front of me. I worry about every little thing and that I know doesn’t help A thing. Depression runs in my family and I have fought it for many years. It isn’t easy but I have a wonderful husband that is supportive and kind. I use alcohol to drown my pain even though I am on medication for depression. My physciatist (I know thats spelt wrong) has told me that alcohol is a downer and try to stay away from it. I don’t drink on a constant basis but I have at least one drink every day.
PLEASE LORD SHINE YOUR LOVING LIGHT ON US AND SHOW US THE WAY.
GOD BLESS YOU

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@colleenyoung

Great topic to start, Georgette.
You wrote:
“discussing managing mental health issues as a senior, after a lifelong challenge with this disease. This issue can be further complicated as we age because many people do have memory loss and other symptoms of aging, and it is very difficult to tell the difference between life-long anxiety or depression and other mental health issues…….and age-related symptoms or conditions. Am i feeling depressed because i cannot do the things i used to do, or am i depressed because i do not have chronic depression under control?”

I’m tagging @overwhelmed @johnjames @jimhd @amberpep and @lesbatts on this discussion as I believe they will value insights or reflections to offer.

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i AM A PEOPLE PERSOn and when our house burned to the ground 3 yearrs ago we moved to a cabin in the woods. There are not too many people around but I have made friends with some. Yes depression is real………….its something that people (including myself) try to hide. I don’t want to frighten people away if you know what I mean. I have gone through periods like this before and sometimes they last for a year or so then other times within a few month I am able to deal with them.. Right now I cannot I feel so helpless and weak. Please give me the inner strenghth to deal with this. Encouraging words anything. I really need you all right now I am so down.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL

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@colleenyoung

Great topic to start, Georgette.
You wrote:
“discussing managing mental health issues as a senior, after a lifelong challenge with this disease. This issue can be further complicated as we age because many people do have memory loss and other symptoms of aging, and it is very difficult to tell the difference between life-long anxiety or depression and other mental health issues…….and age-related symptoms or conditions. Am i feeling depressed because i cannot do the things i used to do, or am i depressed because i do not have chronic depression under control?”

I’m tagging @overwhelmed @johnjames @jimhd @amberpep and @lesbatts on this discussion as I believe they will value insights or reflections to offer.

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@brit We are all hoping that you find a little bit of light today to brighten your path! Teresa

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@liz223

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ….. not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don’t blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can’t totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

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@gailb Thanks, Gail. Yes we all need a “little icing” on the cake of life. Thanks for sharing yours with us. Teresa

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@colleenyoung

Great topic to start, Georgette.
You wrote:
“discussing managing mental health issues as a senior, after a lifelong challenge with this disease. This issue can be further complicated as we age because many people do have memory loss and other symptoms of aging, and it is very difficult to tell the difference between life-long anxiety or depression and other mental health issues…….and age-related symptoms or conditions. Am i feeling depressed because i cannot do the things i used to do, or am i depressed because i do not have chronic depression under control?”

I’m tagging @overwhelmed @johnjames @jimhd @amberpep and @lesbatts on this discussion as I believe they will value insights or reflections to offer.

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Thank you so much for your reply to my email. Just knowing theres someone out there that cares and is going through the same things makes it a little easier. Thank you Teresa GOD BLESS

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@liz223

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ….. not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don’t blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can’t totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

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yes it does make sense.I bet there are plenty of people that would love what they found in you. You sound like a loving caring person just the right one hasn’t found you yet or you have found him. I don’t iive in a town infact the closest is about 25 miles from here. I live in a National Forest. There are a few people around but not many, I use to walk each morning but lately haven’t even been doing that. I know that would be good for me but just can’t be bothered. Its really a shame was this anxiousness and depression can do to ones personality. I do try to stay on the positive side but always find myself in the “funk” again in a short time. I use to do a lot of crafting…..door wreaths, arrangements etc but have lost all interest in that also. Everyone has made very positive remarks on my work but you have to be in the mood to “create” certain things and I am certainly not at that point.
MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY

REPLY
@liz223

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ….. not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don’t blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can’t totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

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I live in a neighborhood and most have lived here as long as I have. We have all stores and
restaurants within less than half a mile. Yet each one sits in their house alone. It is a family member that
comes to visit if you are fortunate to have family that take the time to come. It is a shame, this is not the
world my parents grew up in and they were out in a rural setting in the country. It is truly a different world.

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@georgette12

Here i am again. As i was going to say in my silly post about grammar….but didnt…today is the 7th month of my sons death. He hanged himself before i got a chance to fly to chicago to save him. I did call the mobile crisis team there…they sent five cops but they didnt take him and hospitalize him. Thats because he did not actually have the rope around his neck. I am not joking. When i worked in a crisis center …i found out that the law just will not allow cops and mental health pros to take someone from their home unless they are in IMMEDIATE IN THE MOMENT RIGHT THEN AND THERE READY TO KILL THEMSELVES…OR KILL SOMEONE ELSE….RIGHT WHEN THE COPS BANG ON THEIR DOOR!!!!.
So my son called me in colorado and screamed at me for sending them. And the next day he made good on his plan. He had been researching for a year…the most effective and painless way to kill himself…and he sent me dozens and dozens of texts during that entire time….which i have printed out and have saved…..detailing his findings. But ….in this case….words didnt matter. In this case…the cops needed more….and they certainly got it…as they say…”a picture is worth a thousand words.” unfortunately they didnt get to see “the picture”. Only the firemen did…when they found him three days later when they broke his door down. And only then…they found him because neighbors complained. Sorry…TRIGGER ALERT!!! I will stop right there. I am hoping very sincerely that my story did not trigger anyone.
Anyway my point is that i did get to chicago and did get to his apartment but, unbeknownst to me and his brother, the landlord had not arranged for the “crime scene” to be cleaned. It was originally a possible murder… As there were reasons to consider this…so they did the whole yellow crime scene tape. I have no idea who cleans apartments after such dastardly deeds…and i guess this poor landlord didnt know either. Anyway i will spare you all and not tell you what i saw and experienced when i opened the door. There are enough cop shows on TV…and i am here to tell you that we need to be eternally grateful for the law and medical and other professionals who work under such extreme circumstances…they are special special people who allow us…the ordinary joe and jane…to not have to deal with such horrific things.
Well…i again have been really wordy here…so i think i will sign off for the moment and watch the latest situation comedy on TV…THE LATEST NEWS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE. Sending hugs to all…love g.

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There are no words to really help, but I wish there were. ((((((((((((((((( Georgette ))))))))))))))))

REPLY
@liz223

I believe mental illness is like other diseases, we just have to keep trying. I stay on a rollercoaster ….. not only daily, but off and on during the day. Sometimes it would be wonderful to just stay on the couch and give up. It takes a lot of energy to cope. This is why I try to get outside at some point during the day. Being among people helps me to put my best self forward because I know this is what they want to see. The feelings we have when down are hard to explain. Sometimes when out, I simply walk through a department store, feeling totally alone and still not caring. Do you find yourself wanting to try to explain your feelings? I pull out all the things that have deeply hurt and poke at them to see if they still bleed. I don’t blame anyone for things that have happened, I just can’t totally trust. I sometimes need someone who could love me unconditionally, but maybe more than this, someone who could find what they need in me. Does this make sense?

Jump to this post

@brit

I live in the country, 6 miles from town. The quiet and solitude calm my spirit. I cherish the solitude, though I things that put me in the middle of the public. Visiting Hospice patients has been good therapy for me. It helps me get out of myself for a few hours, and give the gift of my presence. I play the piano and lead worship at our church on Sunday evenings, and I know that’s helpful to me, knowing that I’ve made the worship experience a good, uplifting one. I sometimes tell my wife I just want to quit, but she always reminds me how much it means to all those people. We go to church on Sunday mornings just because we want to and we are always welcomed and encouraged. So, getting out of the house and reaching out to other people is part of my therapy. Yes, I’d rather stay home in bed lots of days, but I feel that it’s part of the human experience and commitment – not to isolate, but to be part of a healing community.

And I’ve said a lot and am going to bed early. I didn’t sleep well last night.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone by expressing my thoughts kind of frankly. I don’t have much opportunity to do that.

Before my eyes close completely and refuse to open back up, a demain.

Jim

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It’s really neat that so many of us are involved in research studies. It’s supposed to help people coming along after us. Maybe we’re the kind of people that agree to be in research. The hardest thing that I ever experienced is being told my son had genetic disorder. That happened at Mayo Clinic Rochester after weeks of testing. It meant my son would never grow up. Then we got all the paperwork to consent to including our son in research cohort for that particular genetic syndrome. But I do remember how it felt driving home with that information – care and support needed for child’s entire life and he was only three years old. Now it’s 20+ years later and we did survive. But it was hard, very hard. No family vacations. Looking for son constantly because he wandered away. Social services. Special education. Parental fees. Non stop. But we did survive and younger sibling survived, too. She’s college student now. Now I’m middle aged with own chronic conditions. That’s why I am doing healthy living program with nutrition, exercise, and resilience. I agreed to be included in research cohort for this intervention. I do know I am high maintenance for them. But so far they are sticking with me and all my so-called “complex psychosocial history.” So my experience is keep putting one foot in front of other foot and LIVE. There is a time to die. But there is a time to live, too. Death comes fast enough. I think we should live while we still can.

REPLY
@ihatediabetes

It’s really neat that so many of us are involved in research studies. It’s supposed to help people coming along after us. Maybe we’re the kind of people that agree to be in research. The hardest thing that I ever experienced is being told my son had genetic disorder. That happened at Mayo Clinic Rochester after weeks of testing. It meant my son would never grow up. Then we got all the paperwork to consent to including our son in research cohort for that particular genetic syndrome. But I do remember how it felt driving home with that information – care and support needed for child’s entire life and he was only three years old. Now it’s 20+ years later and we did survive. But it was hard, very hard. No family vacations. Looking for son constantly because he wandered away. Social services. Special education. Parental fees. Non stop. But we did survive and younger sibling survived, too. She’s college student now. Now I’m middle aged with own chronic conditions. That’s why I am doing healthy living program with nutrition, exercise, and resilience. I agreed to be included in research cohort for this intervention. I do know I am high maintenance for them. But so far they are sticking with me and all my so-called “complex psychosocial history.” So my experience is keep putting one foot in front of other foot and LIVE. There is a time to die. But there is a time to live, too. Death comes fast enough. I think we should live while we still can.

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Very Good ! ! ! ! How are you in research cohort for this intervention. Is this a Mayo Clinic Program. When you have struggled
through the tough stuff and the dust settles one needs to put themselves back together because all of this takes its toll
Yes perhaps we are called to be involved in research studies for those coming along after us.

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