Mayo Clinic Connect
I have just started using this site so this is my first message.
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, safetyshield, luckygirl ... see all
Hello @georgette12 and welcome to Mayo Connect. You have joined a wonderful online community of folks who are interested in health topics and sharing information about what has helped and encouraged them. Please feel free to share with us as to what brought you to Mayo Connect. Is there a specific health issue you or a family member/freind is dealing with? All of us came to Mayo Connect as a result of some health-related issue and we have found support and help along the journey. We look forward to getting to know you! Best wishes. Teresa
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@chsharpei Hi Ch, I think we all hope that when death comes it does come quietly and quickly. I thank God that my transplant has renewed my life, it’s been a year this month, but when I was really getting sick at the end and my blood counts went so low I was told I could have a cardiac arrest, I felt very calm about it. If it happened, then so be it. The local hospital did not want to handle it so I was sent by ambulance to Boston to my transplant center. A number of blood transfusions later I was discharged.
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JK @contentandwell . I hope you enjoy many more years. I know how at peace we can be when the possibility of death is real. I have peaceful assurance that I’ll be stepping from this life into a much better one in Heaven, singing with angels without becoming hoarse from too much singing. And NO MORE PAIN!! Even on my most stressful days, I can remember what’s ahead for me and for everyone who places their trust in God. I’m totally looking forward to Christ’s return.
I’m so glad you were able to be at peace when you were waiting for the transplant. Can you tell us what brought you that peace, and is it always with you?
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Hi, CH @chsharpei . I understand wanting to end the suffering, as I went through an extended period of time when I wanted to end my life. I did make a number of attempts, but each time, to my frustration, when I woke up, I was still here on earth. I was angry that I couldn’t even do that right.
I’ve been in a much safer place over the past few years, though, as I tell my therapist, I still have the suicidal thoughts.
Most of us don’t want to go through a long, painful period of suffering during our last months or years of our lives. Dying peacefully in our sleep and waking up in Heaven is much more desirable.
Do you have knowledge that your health will decline to a disastrous level? Can you picture in your mind what a peaceful process it could be? Sometimes our fears control the outcome. I hope you can set aside those fears, even temporarily, and project a positive future for yourself.
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@jimhd I am pretty much at peace with the prospect of dying. I am very happy to have been given more time to spend with my son and daughter though, and I know when the time comes for either me or my husband that it will be very hard for them, particularly my son. He is a very feeling guy and very conscious of the fact that we are not young so he tries to be very there for us, as much as he can be since he lives across the country in CA. I love that he invited us to spend vacation with him in October, in Hawaii. It’s a real splurge but we have not had any vacation in three years so when he suggested it I said YES. I am dreading the flights though. First across the country to CA and then from there to Hawaii. UGH
I think peace comes from believing in an afterlife, and for me part of that is being reunited with loved ones who have already passed away. I envision them welcoming me to my afterlife.
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I am 61 and dreading the day my father passes. My mother went three years ago and it started me on a downward spiral knowing my father would be the last one left of parenting. I have always had abondonment issues and the anxiety in the past three years is atrocious. I am trying to work through this but I feel pressure that I have to make peace with him before he goes. He lives right next door to me and it isn’t like we don’t get along but he was very controlling and I have some anger to deal with. I do believe that there is a beautiful place my mother is because she has shown her presence to me.
@mlbaier Many of us also have issues that we cannot get beyond but we have to try to, we are only punishing ourselves when we don’t. My husband is extremely controlling but both of our children love him and very obviously forget just how controlling he was or choose to move beyond that. Frankly for me it’s a bit more difficult because I have lived with it for so long and it has really effected my life.
Please do try to put your anger aside. I try to but sometimes I am not successful at it.
Hi, JK @contentandwell
Our kids are, and will always be, a great blessing to us and a source of joy. I enjoy traveling. I think the worst part of flying is going through the process of checking in, waiting and loading. Once we’re cruising, I enjoy the view, and landing is interesting, seeing the city from Google Earth’s vantage point.
And it’s surely faster than driving. Especially to Hawaii.
@jimhd I get very nudgy up there sitting for so long. I rarely can read or watch a movie due to that, but I can sleep, which I do. The night before I can never sleep either so I need the sleep.
I know how it feels to lose parents. It can be difficult, regardless of what our relationships with them are. Sometimes there’s guilt, or devastation, or extended grief.
Do you have someone to talk with about your anxiety? Therapists have been very helpful to me with that struggle. I hope you have, or will find someone to walk through this with you. I pray that God will give you peace of mind.
Thank you. I do have a therapist but it still falls back to me and dealing
Liked by Jim, Volunteer Mentor
Great topic to start, Georgette.
“discussing managing mental health issues as a senior, after a lifelong challenge with this disease. This issue can be further complicated as we age because many people do have memory loss and other symptoms of aging, and it is very difficult to tell the difference between life-long anxiety or depression and other mental health issues…….and age-related symptoms or conditions. Am i feeling depressed because i cannot do the things i used to do, or am i depressed because i do not have chronic depression under control?”
I’m tagging @overwhelmed @johnjames @jimhd @amberpep and @lesbatts on this discussion as I believe they will value insights or reflections to offer.
Thank you for this post, John @johnjames . I know it was months ago, but I ran across it and was encouraged by your words. Even my wife, after living with a depressed husband for more than 12 years, doesn’t understand the feeling of heading down into that dark hole. The triggers of depression were several, but I couldn’t name them until I’d been through 3 or 4 years of therapy. I don’t know if I yet know all of the causes.
I haven’t heard from you for awhile, so I thought I would reconnect.
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Depression is hard enough w/o the addition of chronic pain. There are these times when nothing helps. Merely existing is unrewarding. Suppose stress is the culprit. Too much all at once. Try to find a distraction that will help…nuncupative noise trashing my day.
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Hi @parus, you are so right. Depression is hard enough all by itself. I did hear a speaker early this year that gave a good explanation of the part the brain plays in stress. I think if you can understand how the brain functions it may help reduce the stress or give you tools like you say to find a distraction that helps. I find that a lot of his short videos on http://stressfree.org/ do a good job of explaining the part that the brain plays and they do it in a manor that provides a little humor.
Pssst…thanks for teaching me a new word and increasing my sometimes limited vocabulary. ☺ Hoping you have a stress free, pain free day.
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Always glad to enlighten, expand and educate. The dictionary has been my best friend since childhood…I did check out the site and HAD to mute the sound as those high pitched cacophonous frequencies were sinuous in my neuropathic world. I did read several and liked what I read. Thanks for the share and I have saved the site. Teeny-tiny baby steps are all I can do for today. Weather moving in-Doppler eat your radar out…tee-hee.
Hi, I am Kaydas. it is my first message and I don’t know much about the forum. I hope to find so many golden hearts and find solidarity and empathy. I have a depression and anxiety for 32 years. The number of years of my suffering tells that nothing helped me to recover. I hope that little by little I will gain confidence and friends. God help us.
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