Mayo Clinic Connect
I have just started using this site so this is my first message.
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, safetyshield, luckygirl ... see all
Comment again…suicide rate increase for both seniors and young people is still increasing. For different reasons. Some mentioned here on the forum many times already. Maybe there should be some sort of forum-type thing that fits in with Connect. Maybe “sub-groups” of some kind. There is a logical way to address this in this format. I haven’t given it any thought, but where there is a need … There is a way to fill it. Besides, if you look back on how often this topic comes up in senior groups and in terminally ill folks (“terminal” is not my choice of words)…there is a huge group of people out there who need to CONNECT!!
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Great suggestion Georgette. As mentioned above, Connect is organized in Groups. Here is the group directory: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/groups/ You can always access the group directory by going to the top of the webpage, click Discuss, then click Groups. (on a mobile device click the menu icon, then discuss, then groups.) We are constantly creating new groups as membership and activity grows.
Currently suicide discussions are found in the Mental Health group, as are discussions on depression, bi-polar, PTSD, anxiety, etc. Each of these may grow into a separate group (or sub-group) of its own. It is most helpful when members use well-described subject lines for a new discussion to help people know what is being discussed. Here are a few good examples:
– I survived suicide attempts http://mayocl.in/2dw4ZJv
– Mother of special need children losing her mind http://mayocl.in/2ow0B0C
– What to do for socially phobic depression and anxiety & bipolar http://mayocl.in/2dN8mMk
Hello gailb. And of course a hello to everybody on the forum who i have missed for two weeks. I think my last post was about my not saving my son from suicide. And your kind response was/is appreciated . i did post a note on the “create a discussion” section today because i didn’t know where to post that i’m back.
To galib…thank u for sharing your story about your son. And at the time he was telling you this, i remember that it was not at all an easy thing…to be gay…much less admit it. So you actually DID save your son’s life! You did something a lot of parents could not do. You accepted him just the way he was/is. I have friends…and yeah they are still friends i guess…who will not support their son being gay. They keep it a secret and it hurts him. I am his adopted aunt. I made it a point to give him my personal support . his mother is a serious religious person and he is now certain he is “going to hell” …. His words…not mine.
There is something not right here. I don’t want to offend anyone reading this…but that is another discussion anyway.
Gailb…it does occur to me that your son might want a chance to save YOUR life. It might be good to see how he feels about your plans for the future.
I will post this before it gets too long. But you sound like such a loving and caring person…i imagine your son would be just like you!
@gailb, in the end that’s what matters, that we are happy with our choices. I did not mean to offend you but I misinterpreted your message and thought your turning away had something to do with you feeling that Christianity was unwelcoming to homosexual people. I realize that is true in some Christian sects and a friend of my daughter’s whose parents are very religious but in a religion that apparently thinks sexual choices are a decision, have disowned their daughter and will not even attend her forthcoming wedding. I will never undestand this.
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor
Then there is the “religious” stuff that keeps cropping up. It crops up because when a person is mentally or physically sick…and suicidal….especially….ya’ just can’t keep religion, spirituality, belief systems, culture, etc. , out of it. It’s who we are, or who we think we are, or who we even want to be, sometimes.
And it’s all so complex. American Indians have gone “up on the mountain” to wait for death when they felt it was time. And who even told them it was “time” anyway? And on and on…. At the moment i am personally trying to recover from finding a huge box of photos of my 2nd husband…who killed himself when our son was only six years old. All the memories are flooding back and i feel like i, myself, want to run into the lake in front of my home and drown myself.
However i won’t, not because i am so well adjusted after all these years….i see that i am definitely NOT. But because i have a first appt with my new psychiatrist .
Personally I have come to the conclusion that, “Live!” is the best choice. I used to feel like I didn’t have a choice but I decided that’s not true. It was a lie. I also believe it was demons that were talking and lying to me. Nobody talks about demons but I believe they exist. I learned to shut them out. So now I just want to die when God calls me. I think some sort of angel or spirit being is going to come for me. At church when someone is very sick the pastor says that the person is, “Going home.” That’s how we talk about death. It’s going home. That’s what I believe. I’m going home.
Liked by beatricefay, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Jim, Alumni Mentor
@ihatediabetes I totally agree with you. At one point prior to transplant they called me when they got results from the latest blood tests I had and said to get to the hospital immediately, not to drive to Boston but go to my local hospital. It turned out that my hemoglobin and hematocrit were dangerously low. They said to go local, not to drive to Boston. The doctor in the local ER said any lower and I could have had a cardiac arrest. After a very quick initial panic I felt calm and felt if this is my time then so be it. Obviously it was not. The doctor was uncomfortable with my situation so he called Boston and they told him to send me there in an ambulance. I ended up being there for 2 or 3 days and had a number of transfusions.
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Today I’m came across a remarkable poem on YouTube. I thought the words were very poignant for all members of Connect, but particularly striking for the conversation happening here. Thank you to Natalie Harris for giving me permission to share her work here.
An excerpt from “I Am Still Human”
by Natalie Harris
I share my lessons so you can learn; that doesn’t mean I’m not learning.
I share my joys so you can smile; that doesn’t mean I don’t cry.
I share my victories so you can have hope; that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle.
I share my visions so you can see too; that doesn’t mean I’m not doubtful.
I share my words from numerous friends; that doesn’t mean I don’t have enemies.
I share my experiences so you don’t feel alone; that doesn’t mean I’m not lonely.
I share my illnesses so you can relate; that doesn’t mean I don’t feel stigma.
I share my love so you can feel loved; that doesn’t protect me from hate.
I share my recovery so you can believe; that doesn’t mean I’m cured.
I share how I breathe so you can too; that doesn’t mean I don’t feel suffocated.
I share because that’s who I am; that doesn’t mean all will agree.
I share my vulnerability so you can feel safe; that doesn’t mean I don’t have insecurities.
I share my faith so you can find peace; that doesn’t mean I don’t have demons.
I might add a line to Natalie’s poem especially for Connect:
I share to find people who are similar to me; that doesn’t mean we won’t find differences.
Had to post that cause i was afraid i would lose it when i moved my tablet. So when i left CROSSROADS i was assigned to my new psychiatrist here in Pagosa Springs, where i live. This is a tiny southwestern colorado mountain town with few resouces. However, because of that, Axis Mental Health System looked outside ….. Like WAY outside colorado to find a psych dr who they felt melt their needs.
My new doctor lives and consults with AXIS staff and patients like me…FROM TELE-VIVE ISRAEL. I guess we do a skype, or “face time” ….. Anyway i will be there in an hour and see … Well…..see his 3 dimensional image…..or, whatever….i think it is a bit unique this way. Personally i would just go to the Mayo Clinic and have my doctor, like, at least in the same Country…but i did not have this option.
Well…still very tired. Will check in tomorrow.
@georgette12 Sounds very interesting, please let us know how it goes! Teresa
@contentandwell @ihatediabetes, oy vay, doctas are gonna kill us all. I leave for my appt in a few minutes. Thanks for checking on me. I dont expect a magic bullet. You ladies take it easy. Judy
So i did go to the psychiatrist who lives in tele viv . that would have been last monday. And i had a good experience. But i have again had difficulty in comminicating on line or on email or answering voice mail or anything to do with any sort of communucation. That has to do with making sure i am in a safe place during a communication. I am not in a safe communication zone with many out of state friends… And my son who is still alive…who is the brother of my son who died. I have a 3rd son who is my deceased son’s half brother. They have a different father. Both of their fathers have died. My deceased son’s father died of lung disease. But my youngest son, from a different marriage, …… His own father died by suicide as well. More later.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor
@georgette12 Thanks for sharing your experience with the out of the country psychiatrist. I’m glad to it was a good experience for you in spite of the problems you have with that kind of communication. If I may ask, how often will you meet with her in this manner? I hope that you continue to heal. You have experienced a lot of trauma and have survived so much. i wish you well. Teresa
Hi again. I never mind anyone asking, teresa, as i really think a large part of my mission or reason on earth is to share. For me, anyway, i personally don’t want to just take up space. But that is only me.
My grief counselor is named celia. She and the staff of Axis, which i believe is only located here in colorado, connect with dr. Andrew Rosenbach in tele viv once a week by skype. So that way they can discuss each person and how to proceed. Dr. Rosenbach sees me, at least, on scheduled appts once a month. His scheduled appts are difficult to get, he says, so he asked me to be sure to schedule ahead of time. He emphasized to me on skype that at any time i feel worse…to tell the office or celia…and they will call him that day. He prefers not to have me (his patient) wait.
Celia, i see once a week. Because she specializes in complex PTSD and EMDR … I am going to her as opposed to a counselor working with other mental health issues. Interestestingly. Though, based on past trauma catching up to present trauma and complications of it all, she is checking with dr. R as tonhow to approach it. I kind of thought i was going because my son killed himself and i couldn’t save him. But i forgot that i tried to save my youngest son’s father also. He, his father, died when he was only six. I guess i just figured that stuff was in the past.
I got my youngest son the best help possible. But when he became 18, i had no control over how he chose to live his life. Anyway, his dad killed himself. when his dad was 40 years old. So when my youngest son passed that 40th year, and he himself was still alive, he had a vision of his deceased father and a conversation as to why his dad killed himself…and what my son was to do now with the rest of his life. So my so is following a path that he thinks his father planned for him. It’s disturbing. But, again, maybe that is what happens as a result of suicide and the people left behind.
Gonna go get a hair cut. Love to all.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Gail, Alumna Mentor, JK, Volunteer Mentor
@georgette12 Thank you for your honest and thoughtful sharing. You are very special to this group on Mayo Connect and I feel privileged to get to know you. You certainly seem to have a great group of caring professionals in your corner right now and I’m sure that you appreciate all of their work on your behalf. Thank you for keeping in touch with us at Mayo Connect and sharing your story and your strength! Teresa
Liked by Gail, Alumna Mentor
@jimhd Hello Jim. It has been a week or so since we have heard from you. How are you doing? As I recall you were planning on having an implant to help deal with pain, have you had that procedure yet? Keep in touch with us. Teresa
Sorry, Teresa, for not writing to this group. I reported to a couple of others.
I had the spinal cord stimulator implanted last Tuesday. On the drive home, I told my wife My feet don’t hurt! I had the implant pulled yesterday, and during the week it was in, the pain was down by around 90%! Some days, my feet didn’t hurt at all, and the day we went to town shopping, they only got up to 2 or 3. Amazing! I’d forgotten how it felt to walk through a store without pain.
Unfortunately, the permanent implant won’t happen for around a month. I had cataract surgery on my right eye yesterday, and will have the left one done on May 2. I have a cardiac ablation scheduled for April 27, and then an MRI on the 4th. The brain and spinal scans are part of the MS assessment a neurologist is doing. The implant surgeon wanted to wait until after the MRI, so swelling or anything else from the implant wouldn’t skew the scans. It’s all happening at once, which is kind of overwhelming. The new therapist started a few weeks ago, and I’m counting on his help to survive the next 30 days. Meanwhile, I just have to deal with the pain, but that’s made easier knowing that eventually the spinal cord stimulator will be in place, and the pain will be greatly reduced. I’m incredibly thankful to God for the doctors and researchers and the staff who developed this and make it possible for me to get one through Medicare. My wife is looking forward to seeing me reduce the amount of morphine going into my body every day.
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Justin McClanahan, Gail, Alumna Mentor ... see all
@jimhd I’m so happy to hear from you and glad to know that your pain has been reduced with your “new hardware.” That must be a real blessing to you! I also appreciate your attitude of “thankfulness” in the many different areas that you mentioned. You do have a busy medical schedule coming up and I will pray that all continues to go well for you. Keep us posted as you continue on! Teresa
@jimhd It sounds like a lot is happening for you, who wouldn’t be overwhelmed?
I had a liver ablation due to malignant lesions in my liver but what is a cardiac ablation?
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