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amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 644
Joined: Jul 02, 2012

~ just dropping by ~

Posted by @amberpep, Dec 28, 2018

Hi all …. I'm just dropping by to say "hi." Lisa was kind enough to send me a note and that was a blessing. I don't know what to say except life goes on, whether we want it to or not.
abby

REPLY

So true

It is good to hear from you, @amberpep. I hope that your holidays are going well. Did you spend time with your family?

You had mentioned some time ago that you would be part of new group therapy. I hope that is going well for you.

Keep in touch, you are missed.

@amberpep Yes, life goes on. Thank you for checking in and letting us know you are still in it. I know what it is like to give up what you are comfortable with to try and please others. Can leave one with so much resentment, etc to deal with.
Still have your pup??

Hi again folks …. well, it's New Year's Day. I'm sitting here in my apartment looking at the Blue Ridge Mtns. from afar just thinking "what would it be like to live there in a little cabin all my own?" I know there are plenty of "old mountaineers" up in those hills …. some just getting away from the life in this hurly-burly world we live in, and some ….. well, the kind that comes to mind always carrying a rifle ready to shoot anyone who comes on their land …. sort of Hatfield/McCoy type …. not them, just similar. I don't have the money to do anything like that though. I'd love one of those "tiny houses" on a plot of land in the woods.
I'm alone most of the time … I see one of my daughters once a week and the other maybe one time a week.. I'm job hunting ….. I have to get out of here during the day, just part-time. My neighbor across the hall is nice, but if I can say this tactfully ….. has become somewhat of a pest. Every day I get at least 5 calls to come over. Now I enjoy visiting with her, but not every day. I'm much more an introvert and really like quiet time. Sometimes I just don't answer the phone, and then she'll call repeatedly, over and over and over again. When I see her the next time, she says, "why don't you answer your damn phone?" Ah yes, such is life. Part of me wants to say "I don't want to." But I don't. People don't understand introverts ….. I have no trouble being alone, which is quite different from many of the folks on my floor.
I've had a lot of time to think since I've been here, and settled, and I realize that I gave up more than I gained by making this move. Sure I love my girls, but I don't see them often …. they have their own lives. It's totally different down here, in almost every way. After 3 years, I'm finally adjusting, although if given the chance, I'd be back in MD in a flash. But, such is life. Hopefully, getting a part-time job will help.
So, all in all, I'm adjusting …. but it's been a tough go. If I had it to do again …. absolutely not!
abby

Liked by kdo0827

@amberpep

Hi again folks …. well, it's New Year's Day. I'm sitting here in my apartment looking at the Blue Ridge Mtns. from afar just thinking "what would it be like to live there in a little cabin all my own?" I know there are plenty of "old mountaineers" up in those hills …. some just getting away from the life in this hurly-burly world we live in, and some ….. well, the kind that comes to mind always carrying a rifle ready to shoot anyone who comes on their land …. sort of Hatfield/McCoy type …. not them, just similar. I don't have the money to do anything like that though. I'd love one of those "tiny houses" on a plot of land in the woods.
I'm alone most of the time … I see one of my daughters once a week and the other maybe one time a week.. I'm job hunting ….. I have to get out of here during the day, just part-time. My neighbor across the hall is nice, but if I can say this tactfully ….. has become somewhat of a pest. Every day I get at least 5 calls to come over. Now I enjoy visiting with her, but not every day. I'm much more an introvert and really like quiet time. Sometimes I just don't answer the phone, and then she'll call repeatedly, over and over and over again. When I see her the next time, she says, "why don't you answer your damn phone?" Ah yes, such is life. Part of me wants to say "I don't want to." But I don't. People don't understand introverts ….. I have no trouble being alone, which is quite different from many of the folks on my floor.
I've had a lot of time to think since I've been here, and settled, and I realize that I gave up more than I gained by making this move. Sure I love my girls, but I don't see them often …. they have their own lives. It's totally different down here, in almost every way. After 3 years, I'm finally adjusting, although if given the chance, I'd be back in MD in a flash. But, such is life. Hopefully, getting a part-time job will help.
So, all in all, I'm adjusting …. but it's been a tough go. If I had it to do again …. absolutely not!
abby

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Hello @amberpep

As @parus asked, I'm wondering if you still have your puppy? Also, did you recover completely from the cat scratch fever?

I hope that 2019 is good for you and that you find some work either volunteering or for pay. I agree that getting out of the house would be good for you. Sometimes when we stay inside a lot we replay our same thoughts and often that is not healthy.

Will you keep in touch?

So true. I know that unless I put forth some effort healthy things will not just happen. If I don’t step out the door I will stay within my woman’s cave listening to the world go by outside.

@parus

So true. I know that unless I put forth some effort healthy things will not just happen. If I don’t step out the door I will stay within my woman’s cave listening to the world go by outside.

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Well said, @parus. Leaving the house is the best way to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.

Liked by Parus

@hopeful33250

Hello @amberpep

As @parus asked, I'm wondering if you still have your puppy? Also, did you recover completely from the cat scratch fever?

I hope that 2019 is good for you and that you find some work either volunteering or for pay. I agree that getting out of the house would be good for you. Sometimes when we stay inside a lot we replay our same thoughts and often that is not healthy.

Will you keep in touch?

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Hi Lisa …. yes, I'll try to keep in touch. Sometimes this Bipolar 2 just hits the low spot and I don't talk to anyone, don't answer the phone, and don't answer the door. It's a bugger to deal with.
abby

@hopeful33250

Hello @amberpep

As @parus asked, I'm wondering if you still have your puppy? Also, did you recover completely from the cat scratch fever?

I hope that 2019 is good for you and that you find some work either volunteering or for pay. I agree that getting out of the house would be good for you. Sometimes when we stay inside a lot we replay our same thoughts and often that is not healthy.

Will you keep in touch?

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Yes, I still have my zippy puppy ….. Ginger. She is a cross between a cocker spaniel and a Cavalier King Charles. They are trying to breed the inevitable heart problems out of the Cavaliers by mixing the two. Ginger's both parents were Cockaliers … the mix.
She's a pip. She'll be 1 this month. Sweet puppy, but still poops on the floor. Oh my ……
abby

@amberpep

Yes, I still have my zippy puppy ….. Ginger. She is a cross between a cocker spaniel and a Cavalier King Charles. They are trying to breed the inevitable heart problems out of the Cavaliers by mixing the two. Ginger's both parents were Cockaliers … the mix.
She's a pip. She'll be 1 this month. Sweet puppy, but still poops on the floor. Oh my ……
abby

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Hi, @amberpep – glad you have your puppy. I looked them up, and I was amazed at what variation there was in looks in different Cockaliers. Look super friendly. Though I worked and worked on it, my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel never was fully potty trained, even at 5 years old (when we had baby No. 2 and had to send her back to the breeder as she was so jealous of the baby and making us really nervous). I guess Cavaliers have some trouble getting the potty training down.

I remember that the job search had been a challenge, and kudos to you for persisting and carrying on. At what stage are you now with job searching? Are you looking for openings? Putting in applications?

Hi Lisa ….. I've heard that any type of Cocker Spaniel is very stubborn and strong willed …. I can attest to that with my Cockalier. I had rescued a Cavie about 10 years ago from a rescue group who snatched them from puppy mills (Molly was 4 when I got her) and she was so timid and shy that she'd curl up in a little ball and just stare around., The Vet said he thought she'd had at least 4 litters of pups. Well, she became my "forever friend" and when I had to put her down, due to stage 5 heart problems, it took a long time to get over it. I really wanted another one but didn't have the money for one nor did I want to go through the heart situation again. Plus Molly's pancreas was totally non-functioning so she had to take pills for that her whole life. After about 6-8 monhs I still had not been able to get passed missing Molly and kept combing the internet for a rescue … even called the rescue group where I got her …. none there at that time.
So, last May my daughters said to me, "hey Mom, let's go for a ride." It was a nice day and I was ready for some fresh air. We drove, and drove, and drove – for 3 hours! I said, "what in the world are we doing, where are we going?" All they said was "you'll see." We pulled into a parking lot on the VA/TN line and sat there for several minutes. Next thing we knew a white SUV pulled up, a woman came out holding this tiny Cockalier all wrapped in a fleece blanket. My heart just melted. That little face ….. I can still see it (in bigger form of courrse!). Here my 3 kids had gone together and gotten me a Cockalier. One of them had researched them and breeders are trying to breed the heart problems out of the Cavies, thus they mate a Cavalier with a Cocker Spaniel and get the Cockalier.
And I should even think about Frederick anymore? I don't think so.
Re. the job ….. I have a neighbor who works at the local private psychiatric hospital and she said that each department is always looking for receptionists. So, I redid my resume', my daughter printed it out for me – 25 copies. I'll give her half to give to the dept. heads and I'll take some to our local hospital which is also set up with receptionists in each department.. Then I'll just have to see.
abby

@amberpep

Hi Lisa ….. I've heard that any type of Cocker Spaniel is very stubborn and strong willed …. I can attest to that with my Cockalier. I had rescued a Cavie about 10 years ago from a rescue group who snatched them from puppy mills (Molly was 4 when I got her) and she was so timid and shy that she'd curl up in a little ball and just stare around., The Vet said he thought she'd had at least 4 litters of pups. Well, she became my "forever friend" and when I had to put her down, due to stage 5 heart problems, it took a long time to get over it. I really wanted another one but didn't have the money for one nor did I want to go through the heart situation again. Plus Molly's pancreas was totally non-functioning so she had to take pills for that her whole life. After about 6-8 monhs I still had not been able to get passed missing Molly and kept combing the internet for a rescue … even called the rescue group where I got her …. none there at that time.
So, last May my daughters said to me, "hey Mom, let's go for a ride." It was a nice day and I was ready for some fresh air. We drove, and drove, and drove – for 3 hours! I said, "what in the world are we doing, where are we going?" All they said was "you'll see." We pulled into a parking lot on the VA/TN line and sat there for several minutes. Next thing we knew a white SUV pulled up, a woman came out holding this tiny Cockalier all wrapped in a fleece blanket. My heart just melted. That little face ….. I can still see it (in bigger form of courrse!). Here my 3 kids had gone together and gotten me a Cockalier. One of them had researched them and breeders are trying to breed the heart problems out of the Cavies, thus they mate a Cavalier with a Cocker Spaniel and get the Cockalier.
And I should even think about Frederick anymore? I don't think so.
Re. the job ….. I have a neighbor who works at the local private psychiatric hospital and she said that each department is always looking for receptionists. So, I redid my resume', my daughter printed it out for me – 25 copies. I'll give her half to give to the dept. heads and I'll take some to our local hospital which is also set up with receptionists in each department.. Then I'll just have to see.
abby

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@amberpep

How nice that you have a connection with a hospital! I hope something comes up for you soon.

Me too, hopeful.
abby

Well, it's whiney me again …. nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends …. still can't find a job – it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in – it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue – the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind …. remembrances of 1971 …. it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
abby

Liked by Parus, lioness, gingerw

@amberpep

Well, it's whiney me again …. nothing has gone right since I moved down here. Can't settle in a church that "fits." No friends …. still can't find a job – it's age, I'm sure, I only see my girls occasionally, pinch every penny to make it through the month, dislike the apt. complex I'm in – it's low-income which comes with a lot of problems, and out of the blue – the other night I was watching a program with Gretchen Carlson (I forget the name of the program), but it was about how many women have been sexually abused, and don't realize it at the time because it was way before this was ever talked about. BINGO! All of a sudden a whole new door opened up and all this garbage came flowing through my mind …. remembrances of 1971 …. it was someone I totally trusted, and being "young and dumb" didn't realize how he was "priming" me with expensive gifts, compliments," and things I can't go into. I hate living here, but whats done is done, but I sure wish I'd have never left MD.
abby

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Hi, @amberpep – I merged your message with this previous discussion you were having this last month so that the others you were talking with can catch up on what is happening with you currently, like @hopeful33250 @pjss48 @parus. I would also like to invite @johnbishop @lioness @gingerw @gailb to join this discussion.

I'm very sorry for the abuse you went through. That sounds very hard to have those things come flowing back.

I'm guessing you've had some memories of this situation in the '70s come to you before all of a sudden? How have you typically dealt with a rush of memories or emotions about it?

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