Is anyone wore and tired of?

Posted by lost55 @lost55, 2 days ago

Hello
Is any caregiver tired of being accused of taking, moving, stealing, or purposely hiding your Alzheimer’s spouse things?
Has anyone honestly blown their stack, lost their cool, gotten red faced pissed off with their Alzheimer’s spouse?
Has anyone told their Alzheimer’s spouse that all of their delusional accusations are the disease and been told they know what they did, where they left, put, or stored their possessions and they are well aware and not sick!
Has anyone tried so hard to fink their Alzheimer’s spouse lost things amongst the tornadic mayhem of their Alzheimer’s spouse dresser, closet or bathroom vanity and received no thanks only to be accused of hiding the thing in the place you miraculously found it after a half hour search?
Well I’m being honest because as of now I have reached the point where I am about to not care anymore.
It’s like the person you have lived with for 55 years treats you like a thief!
No wonder that caregivers just want to give up.
B

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

jodycharles | @jodycharles | 6 hours ago

Greetings fellow caregivers,
I’m sorry that we are all going through this mental breakdown with our loved ones however having this online chat option , has helped me somewhat just to know that there is a group of folks that are going through the same battle .Hopefully this venue has helped us all cope better .

This is my fifth time being in this role - my mother , my sister , my fav aunt and a best friend ..
This 5th time , my husband of 30 years was diagnosed in April . Maybe because I’m aging , I’m having the most difficult time processing and protecting my own mental health ..
He currently is at the mild stage of dementia..but we all know the drill .. the nexts stages, seem to come on like a steam engines.
In order to expedite to get to the final appointment with a neurologist (who will ultimately determine what stage he is currently in ) .
If she decides that he is at the mild stage, he may then be eligible for the newly approved
“Kisunla “ treatment ..
Not a cure, but seems promising nonetheless for giving the patient more years of quality of life ..
I’m curious to hear if there is anyone who has started this new path and how it is unfolding for both of you?

Keep on shining, everyone.
We are stronger than we sometimes realize, and even on the difficult days when we feel like giving up, we somehow step back up to the plate and care for the people we love.
That kind of devotion is truly remarkable and worthy of admiration.
Best,
Jody

grandmajoan | @grandmajoan | 5 hours ago

And I got upset because he spoke with a friend of ours and didn’t realize that the friend was in the hospital. He didn’t mention anything to me. Then I seemed really out of the loop when I spoke with our friend’s wife. I’m finding I can’t trust that what he tells me about conversations he has with friends or family is accurate.

labrown | @labrown | 4 hours ago

In reply to @lost55 "Thanks everyone for your support. Just to clarify my spouse is my wife, so far I’ve..." + (show)

@lost55 My husband also grew up on a very rural farm and he was one of ten. Like your wife he has never made close friends in his adult life and is only close with two brothers who live away. I always wondered if that was a farm life thing? They were so busy working the farm that there was not time to be involved with school events or run with friends? He has always been a hard worker and very supportive of our immediate family but all social life has been with my family and friends. I always thought when we married I would enjoy lots of brothers and sisters-in-law. Not the case. His only sister that he was close to passed away with Frontotemporal Dementia/Primary Progressive Aphasia three years ago. His father also passed away with Dementia before that. It was only in his sister’s last few years that I saw so many of the same symptoms developing in my husband…and now here we are going on 5 years with Alz/Lewy Body/Aphasia. It would be nice if my husband had some close friends that could help us walk through this journey. It can certainly be a lonely one…especially long holiday weekends…I can’t help being a little envious of people leaving town with great weekend plans😔.
I said all that to say this…I understand what you are going through, and that is one reason I come to the “Connect” most mornings. To visit with “our friends” who are traveling down this road too. We may experience different kinds of problems in the different stages we are dealing with, but thank God there is someone who will read our post and respond with encouragement (I don’t dare call out names for fear of leaving one out, but you know who you are😊). That is how I get through one more day.

labrown | @labrown | 4 hours ago

In reply to @lost55 "@judimahoney Thanks In the beginning I also was amused and treated the search as a treasure..." + (show)

@lost55 I tell my husband I have no idea where something is when he is in search mode. I gave up trying to keep everything in place, where it belonged so it could be easily found, after I realized he didn’t want anything in plain view because “they” would steal it. Leave the search to her. It will help to keep her occupied, and she is the only one that will know if she finds what it is she is looking for.

labrown | @labrown | 3 minutes ago

In reply to @lost55 "@wtr2026 Thank you Tonight I am avoiding the grousing and vitriol I am hearing emanate from..." + (show)

@lost55 You know I think sometimes they just need to let their frustrations out…don’t we all? We can’t begin to imagine how our loved ones are feeling…for all we know they could be scared to death. We are trying so hard to protect them and keep them happy. They know enough to know something is not right, and most of the time they cannot express to us what it actually is that is upsetting to them. Maybe they need a little space to vent like your wife is doing.