Intimacy and cancer
My husband and I have not been intimate since my cancer (glioblastoma) diagnosis (5 years now). At first it was due to fatigue. But now I don’t know why. I try to talk to him about it but he avoids the subject. Anyone else having this issue?
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@katehedderich Welcome to Connect. And congratulations on trusting us with a subject many cancer patients have as concern but are hesitant to discuss. There are so many losses experienced in a cancer journey including those involving sexual intimacy. You say that you have tried unsuccessfully to discuss this with your husband. If you have had open discussions in the past, this certainly must be an additional loss if not feel like new rejection. If those discussions weren’t part of your relationships, what options to obtain help do you have that might be acceptable to your husband? Again, I applaud your trust and honesty. It speaks well of your relationship. Peace, Nancy
Thanks for your thoughts.
@katehenrichsen You are so welcome. Please know I’m not going anywhere if you think we can have conversation that would be helpful. Some of our journeys can feel pretty lonely sometimes. Nancy
@katehedderich You’ve asked a very good question that no one ever wants to ask. And doctors don’t want to bring up the subject even though it would sure help if they did. I found this article for you that may answer some of your questions or give you some information. If you Google ‘intimacy and cancer’ you will find many reputable resources. Maybe print out some articles and just leave them lying around.
I hope what @1nan and I have suggested will help some. Please stay in touch with us. Becky
Thank you. I will look.
I also applaud you for breaching this issue, your a brave woman. As a man, perhaps I can offer some suggestions. Have you tried initiating intimacy and telling your husband of your desires? My ex-wife had breast cancer, I was hesitant to initiate intimacy out of fear of rejection because of the cancer. I didn’t want to talk about it either. One night she was very blunt, assured me she still loved me, told me what she wanted/needed and initiated sex. It took several times of her doing the initiating until things returned to normal. Sometimes us men aren’t the smartest tool in the shed and need a push. If ED is an issue, insist he talk about it, get help or the blue pill if necessary. I’ll try answering your questions if you feel comfortable talking to me. Never give up.
Hope I didn’t say anything inappropriate or offensive. I just wanted to give an honest answer to a honest valid question.
@dutchw thank you for joining the conversation and sharing the male perspective for @katehedderich to read and consider. I feel you shared, very honestly, your experience and suggestions that could potentially help a great deal.
Thanks for your perspective. It helps. And I was not offended by anything you said.