← Return to Intimacy and cancer

Iowakate (@katehedderich)

Intimacy and cancer

Cancer: Managing Symptoms | Last Active: Mar 5, 2022 | Replies (39)

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I also applaud you for breaching this issue, your a brave woman. As a man, perhaps I can offer some suggestions. Have you tried initiating intimacy and telling your husband of your desires? My ex-wife had breast cancer, I was hesitant to initiate intimacy out of fear of rejection because of the cancer. I didn’t want to talk about it either. One night she was very blunt, assured me she still loved me, told me what she wanted/needed and initiated sex. It took several times of her doing the initiating until things returned to normal. Sometimes us men aren’t the smartest tool in the shed and need a push. If ED is an issue, insist he talk about it, get help or the blue pill if necessary. I’ll try answering your questions if you feel comfortable talking to me. Never give up.

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Replies to "I also applaud you for breaching this issue, your a brave woman. As a man, perhaps..."

Hope I didn’t say anything inappropriate or offensive. I just wanted to give an honest answer to a honest valid question.

As a man, I will say sex is not like a switch (on/off). There are many factors mostly in our heads that might cause us to avoid sex.
When we are young the switch never gets turned off. However, as we age and our partner's age there are little voices in our male heads that cause doubt about the switch coming on. So rather than find out for sure we might avoid sex altogether. The blue pill does not make us horny. First, we have to be aroused then it helps get and maintain an erection. However, if that little voice won't shut up it ain't gonna happen. Been there done all of this over the years.


We have gone through many physically life threatening conditions, extensive surgeries & recoveries together. Cancer has been different; it has taken away our intimacy.

We have been stumbling around for months now. I remember coming here to look for answers. We fnally broke down recently and got some blue pills.

So happy to see this being addressed.