I'm so sad

Posted by debraannk @debraannk, Mar 6 6:25am

My husband, Kevin, who just turned 62 passed away suddenly on Valentine's Day. He was diagnosed with Glioblastoma and had brain surgery lin April 2019 and then spine surgery in November 2019. He tried everything Mayo prescribed, radiation, two kinds of chemo pills, the Optune. He was so hopeful and positive. He loved every single member of his brain care team. We just celebrated our 35 year wedding anniversary and I'm beyond heartbroken. The month before his death, we also lost our little 8 year old Shihtzu due to a brain tumor. Some days, I just cannot stop crying.
Deb

I am so sorry to read of the loss of your husband @debraannk It is so very hard to comprehend how life unfolds when we have cancer join our lives. It is such an unpredictable, difficult, and arbitrary disease!

Personally I believe we grieve as deeply as we loved the one we are grieving. I lost my wife after a 14 year war against her brain cancer and I still miss her more than I ever even imagined possible. During her war we also lost our Labrador due to cancer. She was such a kindred spirit to my wife that her loss was felt more deeply than usual I think.

I know how we manage in our different lives after loss each in our own way, but one thing that helps me get by is following the Twelve Step idea of 'one day at a time'. Doesn't make it easy, but I have found it helps me manage my grief.

Also I have the following quote taped on my fridge "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering 'I will try again tomorrow'.

Strength, courage, and peace

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Cancer is a devastating disease. I have lost family and beloved pets to cancer, and the losses, while different, are also so similar. Scott’s response struck a chord with me, especially’I will try again tomorrow.’ Grace and peace.

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@debraannk, it is sad and sometimes it is near impossible to share that sadness with the people around you. Few people get it. But we do here on Connect. You have an open invitation to lean on our virtual shoulders any time, just to cry, to say "I'm sad" with no additional explanation necessary.

When my father passed, people were afraid to talk about him with my mom. They thought it would remind her that he was gone. As if she could forget! That people didn't talk about him made her sad. She didn't want people to forget him. Sometimes the memories brought tears, sure. But as time passed, the memories brought smiles too. What would you like us to know about your Kevin?

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Thank you to Scott for your reminder, "I'll try again tomorrow. " the loss of our loved ones and the loss of our furry family members will forever leave a hole in out hearts. The only thing that has ever helped me, personally, is to reach out and try to help people who might need something I can give. Dogs and cats included.

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@colleenyoung

@debraannk, it is sad and sometimes it is near impossible to share that sadness with the people around you. Few people get it. But we do here on Connect. You have an open invitation to lean on our virtual shoulders any time, just to cry, to say "I'm sad" with no additional explanation necessary.

When my father passed, people were afraid to talk about him with my mom. They thought it would remind her that he was gone. As if she could forget! That people didn't talk about him made her sad. She didn't want people to forget him. Sometimes the memories brought tears, sure. But as time passed, the memories brought smiles too. What would you like us to know about your Kevin?

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Kevin was my loving husband for over 35 years and he was an amazing father to our son and daughter. He was an electrical engineer with a never ending desire to invent new things that could help others. During his year with Glioblastoma he never gave up hope or complained about anything, even though he endured so much pain with having brain surgery, spine surgery and endless treatments. We miss him so much.
Thank you so much for asking.
Deb

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How are you? I just read your post today. I am going to go to a drive-in church service so I will not be able to say all I want to say to you. I am so very sorry for your losses. I lost my so to brain cancer. I lost my daughter to chemical dependency (everything quit working). We lost our shih tzu of 13 years. I am just telling you because I can relate to having a broken heart. May God bless you. May you feel angels from Heaven surrounding you with the peace of God. Blessings! Woogie.

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