I'm scared. Just sayin... also med ID bracelets?
Hi – new here. I'm 40, F, with 4.5 Ascending aneurysm. It has been increasing at a steady pace for 10+ years. I don't know why I have it – no family history & no known risk factors. I feel scared a lot. Sometimes I feel up for the challenge (recovering from the looming surgery); other times I feel terrified it could leave me further disabled. I already work much harder than I can handle, trying to earn a living in a body that already has several other chronic (and disabling) conditions. I honestly have no other option financially. I love working – and want to keep working, but would prefer to only work as much as my body is able. But I digress…
I feel afraid that 1) the ticking time bomb will go off before 'expected,' and 2) that the surgery might end in complications, leaving me with further disabilities that render me unable to continue working going forward.
Because of the timing of past health emergencies/recoveries & schooling, if I were to attain social security disability, the amount I could get would never come close to paying the bills. Moving in with family is not an option – I cannot maintain mental health in those homes. But I know in that respect, I am future tripping. I don't know if there will be complications with surgery. But it's hard to not worry because based on my track record, for my age, I'm not terribly lucky when it comes to health. I have a few significantly difficult diagnoses (not referring to aneurysm), as well as a list of "early-onset" this and that. So it's hard not to worry. I do, however, feel lucky about the 9-month cough I had years ago that led to the incidental discovery of my aneurysm.
For the past 12 years, since I had a traumatic brain injury, all I've been doing is trying to become self-sufficient/independent. After intensive brain rehab, I finished college, and then grad school, and started a career (but working more than I should). And now this… Mostly looking for support.
Also – curious what thoughts are on having a med ID bracelet for this? I feel like it would give me a little peace of mind, but I'm also nervous maybe I'd just be making too big a deal out of it (?) Thoughts? Anyone else get one? I don't want to draw more attention to my medical needs. I also don't want it to constantly remind me about the aneurysm. But I'm afraid it would be the last thing they think of checking at my age – I worry they might focus on other things like the controlled meds that I take (red flag for drugs), or my past hospitalizations for severe anxiety.