I'm just tired. . .so tired of this everyday battle

I promise you are not alone and you ARE enough! My husband suffers with major depression also and while I can't relate to what you feel I can relate to your friends and family. We care and want to help but we honestly just don't know how. Find a therapist or local support group that you can reach out to when you're really down. And I've only been a member here a short time but everyone is VERY helpful and more than willing to talk.

@silverfox1455 Hello and welcome!
Depression is tough. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Bipolar II which is heavy on depression. I also had postpartum depression when my daughter was born 50 years ago.

I sometimes feel guilty about not having the “energy” to get up, go out, and get moving. However, after a while, I do start feeling a bit better and I can “live”. It may only last for a short time, but it is a good thing.

Do not let anyone tell you not to be depressed. Do not let people tell you how you should feel about anything. They have no right to tell you how to feel!
That’s important.

Keep in touch with us.

Greetings. Especially to those who, like me, are awake due to morning early wakening due to depression and inability to sleep.

@silverfox1455 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. We are hearing your scream, my friend. Depression is a bear. It hibernates at times, the comes roaring out back into our lives when we least expect/want it to. And some days there seems to just be no way to avoid it, medications or distractions do nothing. As you have already read, you are enough. You matter.

Tell me what you do to work through the darkest times, please. Do you journal out your thoughts, so they get out of your head? Here is a discussion about journaling that you might find interesting and get some ideas from:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/
Do you paint, or garden, or knit/crochet? For me, seeing the end product of my crochet projects when I feel bad, and am ready to donate them, help me understand that doing for others, even in the midst of dark times, is a gift to me, and that helps me feel like I matter. Also, getting fresh air and moderate exercise can help keep those dark times to feel lighter.

I hope the posts you are seeing will give you a boost this morning, and let me know how you are doing.
Ginger

Welcome!

The two dumbest questions Docs ask;
“Are you suicidal?” Of course I am you would be too if you had to deal with all this bullshit!
“Do you have a plan” Of course I have a plan. How can I be suicidal without a plan you idiot!

Answers like those have landed me in the hospital, the suicide tank at the county jail and wrapped up in “hard clothing”. Not a good plan.

I’ve been sick since first grade, I’m 60 now. I had 20 good years from 30 to 50 when I was married to an understanding woman and surrounded by four beautiful children. I was on a lot of meds and I had to work really hard, but it was worth it.

I had a psychotic break from stopping all of my meds. She left me and took the kids, she was right to do so! I went to prison for two and a half years. What I didn’t lose of four business I gave to her, it will never be enough.

It has been ten years and I’m am just starting to feel better. My sixtieth birthday was June 30 of this year. I had resolved to kill myself. After all I had failed at everything that mattered to me especially being a husband and a father, the greatest joys of my life.

Then I picked up a book “Brain Energy” by a Dr. Palmer, it gave me new hope!

I have reduced my meds, been tested for low testosterone, which I have, changed my diet to a modified Keto (more protein), exercise vigorously for two hours five days a week and stopped eating sugar. My doctors have supported me all the way, they didn’t know what else to do with me anyway.

Each changed has made the next change possible. I’m still on ten meds (six psych meds and six to deal with the side effects) but I am no longer suicidal.

I do a massive amount of my own research as I believe doctors no longer have the time. The research lets me back up my request with facts. It’s my life and I needed to get more deeply involved.

The grief I feel over losing my family is beyond words. Most of the time however I am thinking more about how to reach out to my children then I am crying over the loss.

It was loss of hope that finally drove me to actually set up my death. The return of hope no matter how small has given me back at least the idea of a life.

Don’t give up hope! Keep fighting! It is not you it is your illnesses. You will get tired. Never forget you on the front lines of the battle with mental illness. What is learned from us will save countless millions from the same fate.

I need purpose in my life and saving others from this horror is a good one.

Keep posting this is a good place.

Stay strong my friend!

Man I feel for you. I try to stay busy, work out, I also purchased Calm app. Deals with anxiety, happiness, sleep, etc. Sitting in front of gym now, I can feel anxiety fixing to pop up. Calm will give you a 7 day trial free. After that I think it’s like $49 a year

If it's any comfort you are not alone. Is the hurting physical? My children have bro k en me and I seem to drag that hurt day in and out. They don't speak to me and I am stunned. Hanylg in there.

I’ve been depressed for decades and have tried dozens of medications. Nothing worked well enough. In April I started Spravato treatments. On the second week my depression started to lift. I’m hopeful, more motivated and I haven’t had any thoughts of suicide. I highly recommend trying it. It’s only costing me $10 per treatment. Please hang in there. ♥️

My kids deal with it. My mother was awful I was the youngest, but her constant complaining drew them away, I unfortunately got her attitude and anxiety. I read from a religious leader to not focus and complain about your issues because you’ ll push loved ones n friends away. I still worry but I keep silent

Drew my brother n sister away sorry