I'd rather "go" first

Dear @daniellemarie, perhaps my greatest fear has been the thought of losing my only child.

Your loss breaks my heart and how understandable that you are feeling so alone and lost now. How could an event of such magnitude be otherwise?

Sometimes having another to be responsible for, even at the lowest times when the thought of getting out of bed sounds harder than we can do, really works to our healing.

For most of my adult life I was the primary caregiver for three extended family members. When they died, I was totally lost because they had been such a necessary focus. The blessing for me was that I still needed to go to work and meeting that responsibility was not an option.

Sometimes, I've found that people are so concerned about saying the "wrong thing" that they will avoid reaching out to someone experiencing a huge loss like the death of a loved one, a divorce, or someone critically ill.

I hope you have others nearby whom you can talk to about what you are going through. Remember you have support here on Connect and I hope you'll feel like posting whenever you like.

I'm so sorry for this terrible loss. I would be in the same boat, emotionally. How is your son doing?

Thank you 🙏🏻 My son has been such a strong boy but definitely is hurting and has break downs especially since our family is completely broken and detached. It seems that I am the only one trying to hold things together 🥲 my son just started flag football so that should help a little with keeping his mind busy. Just so lost and feel so alone. Miss our Danica so bad she was the light, joy, funny sassy glue that held us together.

@fiesty76 thank you and yes I do have family and friends and great support that has been through our journey with Danica and fighting her battle against brain tumor/cancer: she touched so many lives. She was on the San Francisco news by JR Stone and on the radio several times here in Sonoma county she always had the biggest smile. I am very grateful to have everyone here in mayoclinic because sometimes it’s just easier to talk about here and with others who have been through the same loss or are facing a fight that I could be helpful for in some way. Thank you again and hope you have a good evening

💜🙏🏻

Hi @daniellemarie, yes sometimes it is easier to "talk" in the forum that with the support that surrounds us with family and friends. Connect permits you to just say the things you need to say without having to consider the feelings of family members who are also healing. We're here just for you. How are you today?

@fiesty76 so true.. I am ok. Just trying to get out of my depression. My son started flag football which I am happy about. Hope you are well

@daniellemarie, So heartening to learn of the support received during your precious daughter's and little family's most difficult time. Even with that wonderful support, I so agree that having a trusted place to share what we might not feel comfortable sharing with those closer to us is a terrific boon.

Yay for youth sports! Like so many families experiencing radically changed daily lives this past year, I am so thankful that both my grandsons have been able to participate in very modified sports activities.

Although our 15 yr old is scheduled for shoulder surgery May 3rd due to a football injury and his spring football practice will be delayed, we are delighted to learn that last week's private test for antibodies following the Moderna Covid trial for 12-16 yr olds he is participating in revealed that he does have anti-bodies! WhooHoo! He will return for his 3rd trial visit in a couple of weeks but we are thrilled that he received the vacc and not the placebo!

Our 11yr old did have a mild Covid infection last summer but was able to participate in restricted ice hockey drills and now baseball.

After a yr of cyber school, both boys returned to school after spring break. Unfortunately, a substitute teacher for the younger boy tested positive for Covid so now he's back to cyber school and delayed baseball practice. Even so, having sports to look forward to, even in its most limited form, gave both something "more normal" to anticipate.

Will be cheering both your little guy and you on as he begins flag football! Hope you'll keep sharing how things are going for you both! Take good care.