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I understand it's the disease, but how can this be...
How can it be that my DH thinks he is getting better... and I do understand that this is a "normal" progression of the disease. I am finding this the most perplexing so far in this journey. It's unwise to argue the point, but GAWD I want to smack him!
We received a quote to do a facelift on the front of our house - it's falling apart and HAS to get done. He absolutely thinks that because he ran a paint crew (whatever that means) on a ship in Vietnam 50+ years ago, he can do this very difficult structural work. I love the proposal and we have the money, but I think I'm going to have to wait until it's completely my decision. I'll never get agreement from him. I'm going to shred the proposal and let this fade to the background, which is my MO now for so many things now.
I'm just venting because I'm frustrated and disappointed, and for the first time in a couple of years, a little scared. This experience is the first overt progression of the disease since the very beginning. I also noticed that he is having a little trouble reading out loud. He often reads things like he is still announcing on the radio, which can be fun. I shared a while back about our really scary experiences in Paris, but he was back to normal soon after we returned home, so that is in the rearview mirror... I thought. We had been coasting at the same stage for so long I was starting to think that this was it until he dies, hopefully years from now.
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I logged in today and am shocked by your post as this is exactly my experience today with my husband. Back story, he was due to have major surgery yesterday (that had me worried as he just had major surgery two months ago). In the end it was cancelled and the relief I felt was immense. He has decided to not go ahead with a new surgery date (the doctor was okay with that as he had suggested that we could wait). This morning my husband is saying he is getting better. He even says his vision has improved along with his thinking. It all seems strange and a little bit scary as he never mentioned his vision was poor.
Is this just a stage? I don’t know I just can relate to what you are saying. I must admit that I too am a little scared. Maybe some of the wonderful mentors can help?
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13 Reactions@blisst
When I say he feels he is getting better I mean his Dementia, not the reason for his surgery.
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2 Reactions@blisst I googled it and yes in the middle stages it’s very common. So is the diminishing ability to read. Hang in there! 🤗
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7 Reactions@cyds thank you! Hang in there too! (Hug)
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3 ReactionsWell... this morning I woke up to DH talking to his sister, and I heard him tell her his mind was cured. He also forgot to take his pills last night. He slept through the night so he's convinced that not taking his meds will improve the quality of his life. I'm hoping he forgets that comment and I'll just need to ensure he takes his meds. The pills at night are for his congestive heart failure, so they're kinda necessary. I know not to remind him otherwise, and arguing the point is stupid. It's hard to just sit on my hands/words - so to say.
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8 ReactionsThis is so real for me too! My husband had a hemorrhagic stroke 11 years ago because he threw away his blood pressure pills unbeknownst to me. He thought he knew better and followed a group online that he believed in. I went through hell with rehab, my taking a leave to care for him and dealing with his anger at me for doing what he wants. He now has vascular dementia and still thinks he’s mostly good, except for a few fall that affect his walking. I’m just tired of dealing with him. He doesn’t say much because of speech aphasia. I went on a family vacation while he went to memory care for 3 weeks and he is still so angry. I know it’s the disease but it’s hard for me not to remind him that none of this had to happen but for him throwing a way pills. Thanks for letting me vent. I really have no one else to say all this to.
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13 Reactions@cyds
I'm understand your frustrations because they only worsen with the progression of "the disease." Glad you found Mayo Clinic Connect.
There is a weal of resources available. For starters, see:
https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/publications
Good luck in your journey.
Hugs,
George's Wife
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5 Reactions@jphilpo
I feel your pain. My husband also plays doctor with his pills. At this time he seems to be staying on his RX’s but OTC come and go with in days because he believes they disrupt his sleep or make him sneeze. I believe his reasoning is really shot after 15 years now. Still high functioning but i did get car keys removed with the help of a GP. Huge win and worry removed!
I’ve decided to dismiss the teaching we read regarding telling the truth to our loved one. MCI is very different than most dementias which allows me to say “this is truth” or “that is because “. My husband can understand those statements still. So i choose to continue with gentle truth as much as the situation can handle. It does calm him down and im no longer the target. Hugs to you all.
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5 Reactions