I know it's a progression but sometimes,

Posted by DanL @tunared, Nov 4, 2023

I just feel like banging my head against a wall. Our journey started when my wife had to quit work 12 years ago. I know, I should be thankful I've had her all these years but it is getting tough. I removed the gas stove because it got too dangerous (smelling gas, food burning). Today I was working in the yard and she came out to help me (which was real nice) but then I smelt something burning and she forgot to tell me she was cooking eggs (on the electric stove). Everything on the stove kinda exploded. our puppy was hiding in corner and the whole house smelt like a fire occurred. I've been doing all the cooking but my beautiful wife feels bad and tries to cook sometimes (like today). Sometimes I just don't know what to do. taking our puppy for a long walk in the woods helps a lot. Sorry for taking your time, I have no one else to tell about this journey. Thanks for listening.

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I need to know if the Mayo Clinic takes Medicare

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@tunared Oh, how my heart aches for you and your wife.

Can you enlist her help in prepping the food, would that be enough of involvement for her? Then you could do the actual food cooking. It might give her the satisfaction of helping out and being a team. Are there any friends or neighbors or family members you can get some support from?
Ginger

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@gingerw

@tunared Oh, how my heart aches for you and your wife.

Can you enlist her help in prepping the food, would that be enough of involvement for her? Then you could do the actual food cooking. It might give her the satisfaction of helping out and being a team. Are there any friends or neighbors or family members you can get some support from?
Ginger

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Ginger, thanks for your comment. We kinda work together, meaning she will operate the microwave but I’ve got to watch her.
My wife is a very private person and is losing all her confidence. I wish there was support but other than me, she doesn’t want anyone else in the house. Except for the dementia, luckily, she is in great health.
Thanks again

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@donaldrubish

I need to know if the Mayo Clinic takes Medicare

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@donaldrubish, yes, Mayo Clinic takes Medicare.
Please visit:
- Insurance types accepted at Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/billing-insurance/insurance/accepted-insurance/medicare

You can also join others in this discussion:
- Does Mayo Clinic take Medicare? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/does-mayo-clinic-take-medicare/

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@tunared, oh Dan. I hear and feel your arghhhhh and I'm especially glad that you have Connect to come to just to write your frustrations. And thank goodness for a puppy who loves long walks, right?

I know I can't change anything. I also know you're doing the best given the circumstance and that you love your wife. But it's hard, especially when you are the sole person she relies on or trusts. Sending a listening ear whenever you need it.

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@colleenyoung

@tunared, oh Dan. I hear and feel your arghhhhh and I'm especially glad that you have Connect to come to just to write your frustrations. And thank goodness for a puppy who loves long walks, right?

I know I can't change anything. I also know you're doing the best given the circumstance and that you love your wife. But it's hard, especially when you are the sole person she relies on or trusts. Sending a listening ear whenever you need it.

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Colleen; thanks for your comments! sometimes caregivers just need to vent and yes, our puppy LOVES long walks in the woods which is very therapeutic for me. It helps to know Mayo Clinic Caregivers are here listening.

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Hi Dan.
My heart goes out to you. My wife is a cancer survivor from a brain tumor. Radiation, rehab, was an exhausting experience. And even more challenges when the cancer came back. She/we spent a couple of months at City of Hope for chemo and stem cell. Life was suddenly turned upside down again.
The neuro deficit she has from her brain injury keeps me on high alert when we are out and about. Her spacial awareness is compromised so we always hold hands around traffic. It's like taking care of a child. I love her dearly and I can tell you have a genuine love and concern for your wife as well. She loses her balance occasionally and has fallen. A major frustration is how she has lost her ability to articulate in a conversation. It creates awkward social situations. Between me and my daughter, we're able to keep her safe. She knows she can't feel heat so well anymore in her hands and fingers but forgets and has burned herself.

The extra energy to be extra eyes and patient with her cognitive delay is frustrating. During the difficult times that I previously mentioned, I needed help. I didn't ask so much but friends and relatives came along side at different times. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Some of the help I got during the rough times allowed me to get some therapeutic personal time. Hope you can connect with support options that will lessen your load.
Ernie

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When my mother-in-law had dementia, she left eggs on the stove until they exploded. We got a device that will turn off the stove if there is no motion in the room after a certain period of time. My husband now has dementia, and I understand your frustration. You think you have everything in order, and then the eggs explode and you have to deal with a whole new set of issues. You sound like a kind husband. It’s a really hard job.
This is a good place to let off steam. 😊

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@carbry

When my mother-in-law had dementia, she left eggs on the stove until they exploded. We got a device that will turn off the stove if there is no motion in the room after a certain period of time. My husband now has dementia, and I understand your frustration. You think you have everything in order, and then the eggs explode and you have to deal with a whole new set of issues. You sound like a kind husband. It’s a really hard job.
This is a good place to let off steam. 😊

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Carbry; can you give me the name of the device you used on the stove?
Thanks

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I don’t remember exactly. My husband ordered it from Alzheimer’s website I think. It looked something like this.

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