How do you know when to intervene with outside activities?

@141942
I can really sympathize with you. I faced that situation with my husband multiple times as various activities he enjoyed became too difficult or uncomfortable to him. Maybe the best example is Golf. Prior to the symptoms, he LOVED playing golf. As the Alzheimer's symptoms developed, I noticed that playing started to become increasingly frustrating. The preparations for play were taxing, his skill level started to decline causing shame, the equipment was hard to manage, etc. But it was such a part of his Identity, that he refused to do the "logical" thing: Stop doing something that you no longer find enjoyable.

We tried a simplified activity: Hitting balls at the golf range. That was ok but short lived.

Over time I gently just keep reflecting to him that he did not seem to be getting the satisfaction he used to get from it. I also started to encourage him to do other sports. That combination is what worked. He started bicycling again and really enjoyed it. He started to go swimming with me and that became something that he really loved.

We have gone through this pattern several times as his capabilities have changed. In each case we:
1. Modify the activity to accommodate his capabilities,
2. Make the social part of the activity the focus
3. Start looking for a substitute activity to move into as it becomes clear that the current activity will not be possible much longer.

Golf took a long time to drop. In the case of a singing group, I noticed that he was starting to feel a bit anxious about going to the weekly practice. One week, I said "Let's not go today, I don't think you are feeling it. You can go back next week." Breaking the pattern of regular attendance worked. I think he went back once or twice but then was glad to take any reason of not going. Very soon, NOT going became normal.

In terms of communication about this, I never pointed out the transitions. We focused on the positives about the new activity (or new supported version of the activity). The idea was to make the transitions out of each activity seamless and not generate any regret, or shame about not being able to do the original activity any more.

I hope that your wife is able to find new, more suitable activities. Of course if one or more involve exercise that would be great. I think that exercise has made a huge positive impact on my husband's Alzheimer's experience. Best wishes

Has anyone ever had issues with the use of the computer and phone for their loved one with MCI. He did have a neuropsychologist evaluation and told the evaluator he does not have any issues working with his computer and phone but there are, in reality, constant issues. He claims he never gets texts sent to him, or phone calls sometimes. He can't seem to figure out how to change settings or what the settings should be on, and claims his computer is doing all kinds of weird things that are clearly operator related. I am just concerned about him doing something that will cause us financial chaos. We don't have a lot of money, and he does not have access to some accounts in my name, but others he has access to and could cause havoc. Any advice on what has worked to help with using the devices or keep him safe on them?

Has anyone ever had issues with the use of the computer and phone for their loved one with MCI. He did have a neuropsychologist evaluation and told the evaluator he does not have any issues working with his computer and phone but there are, in reality, constant issues. He claims he never gets texts sent to him, or phone calls sometimes. He can't seem to figure out how to change settings or what the settings should be on, and claims his computer is doing all kinds of weird things that are clearly operator related. I am just concerned about him doing something that will cause us financial chaos. We don't have a lot of money, and he does not have access to some accounts in my name, but others he has access to and could cause havoc. Any advice on what has worked to help with using the devices or keep him safe on them?

Has anyone ever had issues with the use of the computer and phone for their loved one with MCI. He did have a neuropsychologist evaluation and told the evaluator he does not have any issues working with his computer and phone but there are, in reality, constant issues. He claims he never gets texts sent to him, or phone calls sometimes. He can't seem to figure out how to change settings or what the settings should be on, and claims his computer is doing all kinds of weird things that are clearly operator related. I am just concerned about him doing something that will cause us financial chaos. We don't have a lot of money, and he does not have access to some accounts in my name, but others he has access to and could cause havoc. Any advice on what has worked to help with using the devices or keep him safe on them?

My husband started MCI 2.5 years ago. I have navigated the whole medical side of his journey for a year. Brain scan Cat scans, neuropsychologist test... I felt like I was alone until I found Mayo Clinic connect for caregivers.
What a breath of fresh air. There are many other couples navigating the same "Journey"
I am now an open book about my honey's situation. (48 years coming up this year's anniversary)
Don't be embarrassed. No person with this unfortunate disease asked for this.
Has it been easy with frustration of repetitive conversations. No memory of what was just spoke. YES
Just love them
Speak Kindley
Never say don't you remember
Hug and console them when they are confused
Tell them you appreciate and love them
I hope this helps any caregiver out there
The Serenity prayer helps
I love this community

Has anyone ever had issues with the use of the computer and phone for their loved one with MCI. He did have a neuropsychologist evaluation and told the evaluator he does not have any issues working with his computer and phone but there are, in reality, constant issues. He claims he never gets texts sent to him, or phone calls sometimes. He can't seem to figure out how to change settings or what the settings should be on, and claims his computer is doing all kinds of weird things that are clearly operator related. I am just concerned about him doing something that will cause us financial chaos. We don't have a lot of money, and he does not have access to some accounts in my name, but others he has access to and could cause havoc. Any advice on what has worked to help with using the devices or keep him safe on them?

@nlou One of the first clues i had that my husband had cognitive decline was when he fell victim to aa computer scam and surrendered all of our banking information! We had to close all of our accounts and reopen new ones. This is a man who was an executive in a fortune 500 company and in charge of business systems! He now can hardly use his laptop without getting extremely agitated because it keep "losing his messages" deleting his calendar, etc Finally when he asked me how to send an attachment, I knew we had to do something. It is sad for all of us in the family, but for me to watch him struggle with things that were second nature to him a few years ago, he is so changed; I mourn that.

@mtdt757 my husband of 52 yrs was diagnosed 3 yrs ago. Your post describes our current state exactly. Fortunately he is very loving and kind, but so sad at what he has lost. I try to keep him busy with puzzles and he will try painting by number soon. Unfortunately he can’t retain information when reading. He’ll watch TV, reruns are new to him!! One of the hardest parts for me is the unknown. Will he progress to full dementia. How do I prepare now or will I be jumping the gun. So stressful. I’m happy I found this site. Thanks for your post.