Gosh. I wish I could give you a big hug right now but will send you a virtual hug. I just looked at your photo and I think you are beautiful. Perhaps not the beauty of your youth but beautiful none the less.
We women are really set up in this crazy culture, to over value our looks to our detriment as good humans. It breaks my heart to hear that you are ashamed.
I'm a 78 yr. old woman. I look very little like my younger version and I am delightfully invisible now. I welcome this change because I hate the pressure I felt to look a certain way when younger. What a scam!
F. Scott Fitzgerald coined a wonderful phrase, "Living well is the best revenge." He wasn't referring to aging and I wouldn't use the word revenge. I would say, living well is the best path to feeling fully alive. I encourage you to get out in the world and grab hold of anything and everything that excites and nourishes you. To heck with the rest of the b.s. shoulds. As my mentor once told me, "It is none of your business what others think of you.