How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

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I am 84 years old. Who knows how long I may live maybe 90 or 100.
Because of that fact, I am trying to have the best time of my life some of my habits have changed example I spend my money easily buy anything that brings me pleaser. Mentally except we are born to die. I don't think of it anymore. Live every day if it is your last. Have a good time nonstop.
Dan

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Thank you so much for your response, Dan! I've never posted anything so personal and I'm definitely going to print out your great suggestions.

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@prcrowe

Thank you so much for your response, Dan! I've never posted anything so personal and I'm definitely going to print out your great suggestions.

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I am a little younger, only 72, but have the same thoughts of less time. So if anything interests me, I dive right in. Like Dan I have stopped being concerned about saving money and more willing to spend on myself and others. We have always given freely to charity, but now are focusing on causes that align with our values, and are often too small to benefit from publicity or promotion by famous people. We are also working with 3 generations to make this a family endeavor that will hopefully outlive us. I also am embracing my role as matriarch (oldest in a large family) and building a few family traditions that will be maintainable for the next 3 generations.
Sue

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Now 76 with minor ( to me) health issues. My mental state is, I have been dying since the day I was born. IE we will all die someday, I have ups & downs, some anxiety. I try to ‘treat myself’ even if loved ones don’t treat me; my dog is my best friend. I have mobility issues but force myself, mentally and physically to get moving regardless of how I feel, I don’t always succeed but try to look forward to the next day and have plans for the next day, to do nothing or something. I am religious and spiritual but stopped going to a physical church the past 2 years for personal reasons. I do not miss interactions in a church. It’s hard to get moving but I force myself.

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Almost 79 and yes, I think about how few years I likely have left. My hope is to stay as well and mobile as possible for however many years I have left on my personal calendar. I belong to a gym and go every day unless I am walking with friends. We are re-writing our wills to leave charitable donations and are establishing contingent beneficiaries on some of our bank accounts. I've given some jewelry to my second generation nieces and passed on some heirlooms. I'm generous with local charities and with friends who might need a helping hand. I take friends out for lunch. All of these activities give me happiness.

I keep reminding myself that when my time is up, I won't care as I will be gone. My goal is to stay well and active and enjoy myself for the rest of my life. I don't see the value of worrying about when the end is coming. I might have 2 months or 20 years left and I'm not wasting any of that time.

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You all sound very young to me to have those thoughts. I am 89. I am able to live independently. I have help with cleaning every three weeks, but I do everything else by myself. I do not have dementia and as far as I know, no other major illnesses. It is true that at my age it is difficult, if not impossible, to make long range plans, but as long as you are here you have to live. Going on a cruise with a friend in the summer. I am not superwoman so I don't do hard core exercise, but I keep moving. I read the newspapers to know what is happening in and to our world. I try to eat healthily. In short, don't think and obsess about it.

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You sound amazing! Thank you so much for sharing such an uplifting attitude. 🙂 I'm definitely going to work on not thinking/obsessing about aging.

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@degarden_girl

Almost 79 and yes, I think about how few years I likely have left. My hope is to stay as well and mobile as possible for however many years I have left on my personal calendar. I belong to a gym and go every day unless I am walking with friends. We are re-writing our wills to leave charitable donations and are establishing contingent beneficiaries on some of our bank accounts. I've given some jewelry to my second generation nieces and passed on some heirlooms. I'm generous with local charities and with friends who might need a helping hand. I take friends out for lunch. All of these activities give me happiness.

I keep reminding myself that when my time is up, I won't care as I will be gone. My goal is to stay well and active and enjoy myself for the rest of my life. I don't see the value of worrying about when the end is coming. I might have 2 months or 20 years left and I'm not wasting any of that time.

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Thanks so much for your input and sharing everything you're doing to make the most of whatever years you have left. 🙂

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@mydogsbestfriend

Now 76 with minor ( to me) health issues. My mental state is, I have been dying since the day I was born. IE we will all die someday, I have ups & downs, some anxiety. I try to ‘treat myself’ even if loved ones don’t treat me; my dog is my best friend. I have mobility issues but force myself, mentally and physically to get moving regardless of how I feel, I don’t always succeed but try to look forward to the next day and have plans for the next day, to do nothing or something. I am religious and spiritual but stopped going to a physical church the past 2 years for personal reasons. I do not miss interactions in a church. It’s hard to get moving but I force myself.

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Thank you so much for sharing what you're doing and how you personally handle the aging process. 🙂

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This is a really good conversation, and I also appreciate it. I have the same thoughts at 72. I am grateful for every day, first thing in the morning. It is hard to keep moving some days, but I have a structure to my days and weeks and work hard to “work the plan” for non-profit meetings and lunches with friends. This helps me pull through.

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