How do I respond to my husband thinking I am his sister?

Good morning @bdt. This is a tough one and it's going to take a lot of stamina to get through this, but you can do it! I was my husband's caretaker for a little over a year. His problems came on very quickly. And I learned very quickly that to try and figure out why he called me by certain names from his past was futile. The more I read and the more videos I watched on YouTube the more I understood that his brain had changed, or that certain parts of his brain no longer worked, and that his disease was stronger than I was. Sometimes I questioned where he was, for instance, if he began talking about traveling north, I asked if he meant a certain place.

He was very fond of our state Neurological Hospital. He really liked his doctor and looking back on it, I believe that he thought that he could be cured there. One day, we were driving home from visiting our nephew and his new son. He kept telling me that I was going in the wrong direction, that I should be going north, not south. I think that last November he thought that I was taking him to the hospital which was north of where we lived. This lasted quite a while until he just became quiet and when we got home he had forgotten all about it.

He also thought there were two of me. That was particularly fun. I'm not sure, even at this point, where he thought that the "real" me lived but the one who he really liked took care of him and was the head of the hospital that he really liked (north of where we lived). I liked that one too! It seemed as if I had 2 wardrobes also. lol I could wrap my thinking around that very easily. He also loved the "north" me because he loved my cooking at night. And he never said that he didn't like the "southern" me. He just never mentioned me, her??

I reminded him that I was his wife and that my name was Merry. He asked me a lot of questions to prove it and I made a game out of it. It was a confusing time, for sure. I tried to keep him in the present but after a while it was impossible. We went on a lot of adventures together- to Cuba (neither of us had ever been) to Europe (we had been together). We also laughed a lot.

I never made a big deal of his personal care. I just went about taking care of what needed to be done. I was so impressed, that this man who had written several books, won many awards, and taught many people (including me) could very nonchalantly let me do what I had to to take care of him. He was a proud man, in health and illness.

Dave is no longer with me, dying less than 4 months ago, but he made me proud that even with his horrible illness I could walk next to him and his walker with great pride. He was my man.

Merry

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I am so sorry for your loss, Im sure it can't be easy these days ,even with him no longer with you, I grieve for my husband everyday and he;s still with me so I can only imagine what its going to be like when he's physically gone ( even tho I try not to).
He sometimes forgets who I am and i just kindly remind him. He knows who my brother and sisters are but not always their name. So, I started a "picture board". I have printed photos on a board ( that i change out after a while) and I label each face or event with their names and that seems to help. He can still read signs and labels for the most part but a book or magazine reading is too overwhelming for him.
God Bless you ... for everything you gave your husband during his journey thru this horrible disease,

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And thank you, @bayviewgal for taking care of your husband as well.

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As hard as this has been on both of us, I do not and will not give up! One of the things he hasn't forgotten is his gratitude. He tells me all the time how thankful he is that he has me to take care of him and doesn't know what he would do without me and i take that as he remembers who and I and what I am doing for him. I love him so much and it pains me everyday of what he must be going thru. And it's forums like this that helps me get thru all of this. So THANK YOU to each and every one of you with all the words of advise, wisdom and comfort

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Good morning @bdt. This is a tough one and it's going to take a lot of stamina to get through this, but you can do it! I was my husband's caretaker for a little over a year. His problems came on very quickly. And I learned very quickly that to try and figure out why he called me by certain names from his past was futile. The more I read and the more videos I watched on YouTube the more I understood that his brain had changed, or that certain parts of his brain no longer worked, and that his disease was stronger than I was. Sometimes I questioned where he was, for instance, if he began talking about traveling north, I asked if he meant a certain place.

He was very fond of our state Neurological Hospital. He really liked his doctor and looking back on it, I believe that he thought that he could be cured there. One day, we were driving home from visiting our nephew and his new son. He kept telling me that I was going in the wrong direction, that I should be going north, not south. I think that last November he thought that I was taking him to the hospital which was north of where we lived. This lasted quite a while until he just became quiet and when we got home he had forgotten all about it.

He also thought there were two of me. That was particularly fun. I'm not sure, even at this point, where he thought that the "real" me lived but the one who he really liked took care of him and was the head of the hospital that he really liked (north of where we lived). I liked that one too! It seemed as if I had 2 wardrobes also. lol I could wrap my thinking around that very easily. He also loved the "north" me because he loved my cooking at night. And he never said that he didn't like the "southern" me. He just never mentioned me, her??

I reminded him that I was his wife and that my name was Merry. He asked me a lot of questions to prove it and I made a game out of it. It was a confusing time, for sure. I tried to keep him in the present but after a while it was impossible. We went on a lot of adventures together- to Cuba (neither of us had ever been) to Europe (we had been together). We also laughed a lot.

I never made a big deal of his personal care. I just went about taking care of what needed to be done. I was so impressed, that this man who had written several books, won many awards, and taught many people (including me) could very nonchalantly let me do what I had to to take care of him. He was a proud man, in health and illness.

Dave is no longer with me, dying less than 4 months ago, but he made me proud that even with his horrible illness I could walk next to him and his walker with great pride. He was my man.

Merry

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