How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@jakedduck1

@hopeful33250
That little guy was cute
Jake

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I thought so, too, @jakedduck1!

Liked by Leonard

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@hopeful33250
Little kids never fail to entertain. They are so open and honest. Did you ever watch House Party with Art Linkletter those little tykes were hilarious?
Jake

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Yes, I did watch that growing up,@jakedduck1. We must really be old to remember back that far! Wow, it is good to know someone else who remembers the good old days! As Bob Hope used to say, "Thanks for the memories."

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@hopeful33250 I finally got around to watching this, so cute!
JK

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@hopeful33250 So cute! People do this for a living sometimes!

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Hey everybody, I have been punk lately (see my post on Just Want To Talk for details) and messed up my streak an goal of posting at least 3 jokes a week. I have enjoyed all of yours and have something for you today.
Real Story. I was admitted to the hospital late in the day 100 miles from home. There was no wall clock that I could see, so I ask the everyone for the time, no one had it on them – they all use the computer system. I finally remembered my cel phone and can be used to check the time. It was 49& after just charging it that morning. Buggers! Used it only to check time, but within hours it was dead. Did not have my charger along because it was packed in my to go bag which my husband was bringing down the next day. Finally got it hooked up to charge . . . slow charging! Getting more and more frustrated with everything. Finally cleaned out battery suckers and got a good charge on when I had to move my watch for an IV change! Well duh! as one son would say and Good Job Captain Obvious as the other would say. Well deservedly!
Funny in a chagrin sort of way. Improved my mood a lot anyway.
Blessings and laughs to you all . . . and away I go! And beyond!

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A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer…

… for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day.
The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”

Tommy replied, “Well, then just give me my money back. That’s fine.”

The farmer said, “Sorry, I can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Tommy then said, “Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse.”

The farmer was surprised and asked Tommy, “Why? What ya gonna do with him?”

Tommy replied, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

The farmer laughed and said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse! Who’d buy a ticket?”

Tommy answered, “Sure I can, just watch me. I just won’t tell anybody the horse is dead.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Tommy again and asked, “What happened with that dead horse in the end. Did you raffle him off?”

Tommy said, “I sure did. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece.”

The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Tommy smiled and said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back.”

Jake

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@jakedduck1

A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer…

… for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day.
The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.”

Tommy replied, “Well, then just give me my money back. That’s fine.”

The farmer said, “Sorry, I can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

Tommy then said, “Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse.”

The farmer was surprised and asked Tommy, “Why? What ya gonna do with him?”

Tommy replied, “I’m going to raffle him off.”

The farmer laughed and said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse! Who’d buy a ticket?”

Tommy answered, “Sure I can, just watch me. I just won’t tell anybody the horse is dead.”

A month later, the farmer met up with Tommy again and asked, “What happened with that dead horse in the end. Did you raffle him off?”

Tommy said, “I sure did. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece.”

The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”

Tommy smiled and said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back.”

Jake

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@jakedduck1 Lol

Liked by Leonard

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Not exactly a joke, but a part of my "little known and useless information" collection:

There will always be a "lie" in Believe
There will always be an "over" in Lover
There will always be an "end" in Friend
There will always be an "us" in Trust
And there will always be an "if" in Life.

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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely." "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

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@jakedduck1

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely." "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

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Just goes to show you how smart women are! Thanks for the smile.

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@jakedduck1

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied, "I agree with you completely." "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

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A man and a woman were killed in an accident on the way to their wedding. When St. Peter greets them at the Pearly Gates they tell him that they love each other so very, very much and they would still like to get married. St. Peter says, "Let me see what I can do." He leaves them standing at the Pearly Gates. Peter is gone for a very long time. As they wait for his return, they continue to talk. "We love each other very much and want to get get married, but what would happen if we didn't get along with each other. Would we be allowed to get a divorce?" When St. Peter finally returned, they asked him. Peter was exasperated and said, "It took me 3 months to find a priest in heaven. Do you know how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"

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@hopeful33250

Just goes to show you how smart women are! Thanks for the smile.

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@hopeful33250
“Just goes to show you how smart women are!”
OR
Devious
Jake

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@jakedduck1

@hopeful33250
“Just goes to show you how smart women are!”
OR
Devious
Jake

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@jakedduck1 I'll stick with smart!

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