How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

@jakedduck1

@gingerw
Don’t try and analyze them just laugh at them. Can you post a couple of the more acceptable ones and see how they fly.
Jake

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1 Leonard, they're not acceptable to me. I won't repeat them.
Ginger

REPLY

@ginger @contentandwell

Sounds like you kids lucked out in the husband department. Wanna message me one?
Jake

REPLY

My husband stood outside the kitchen window all day yesterday and long into the evening. He looked so cold and miserable. I finally unlocked the door at 9 pm.
(Not true, just a funny I got from a friend)

REPLY

@2011panc
“Just a funny” are you sure, got me to wondering???
Jake

Liked by lioness

REPLY

A guy walks into a liquor store and sits on a stool by the bar. He orders a drink and a blonde is sitting on the stool next to him. The 10 o'clock news comes on and they show a guy ready to jump off a 10 story building. The guy says to the blonde, bet you $50 the guy jumps. She says I'll bet you $50 the guy doesn't. The guy jumps to his death. The blonde puts $50 on the bar and says here you go. The guy says no I can't take your money in good conscience I saw the same newscast at 6 p.m. The blonde says so did I but I didn't think he would jump the second time.

Liked by lioness, Leonard

REPLY

@jrswiontek That was funny

Liked by Leonard

REPLY

@jrswiontek
Thank you for your joke, I love blonde jokes. Know any more, I hope?
Jake

REPLY

It's fun to tell a joke to a blonde. They laugh at it three times: once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when they get it.

Liked by lioness, Leonard

REPLY
@marvinjsturing

It's fun to tell a joke to a blonde. They laugh at it three times: once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when they get it.

Jump to this post

@marvinjsturing
That was funny, thank you.

REPLY

Bob and Mary celebrated their 30 year anniversary. Mary purchased a driving lawnmower for Bob, but got nothing in return. Mary blew her top and told her husband that she expected an expensive gift that went from 0 to 200 in 60 seconds and it had better be in the driveway in the morning! The next morning Mary retrieved an 18" square box from the middle of the driveway. When she opened it she found . . . a new bathroom scale! Bob has not been seen since.

REPLY

How about some Puns

1. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

2. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

3. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

4. Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

5. "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

6. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Liked by lioness

REPLY

1. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

2. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

3. The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

4. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

5. I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

6. Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

7. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

8. Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

9. I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

10. What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

11. Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

12. A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes…

Liked by lioness

REPLY
@jakedduck1

How about some Puns

1. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

2. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

3. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

4. Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.

5. "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible" "Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

6. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1 I love your jokes these pune where cute lol at #2

Liked by Leonard

REPLY

Hi @jakeduck,
Thanks for the smile. I liked the hokey-pokey one the best. I'll leave now and "turn myself around."

REPLY

A cowboy came into the bar, ordered three whiskey sours and took a seat at a table. When the drinks came he drank a little out of each glass until they were gone. Then he left. He came in every week and repeated the same routine. The bartender finally asked him why he always ordered three drinks and sipped them one at a time until they were gone. He replied that he was away from home and missed his brothers. They used to always go to a bar and share drinks. So when he left home they all agreed to continue the practice. The second and third drinks represented his brothers at home. The bartender thought this was an unusual but heartwarming practice. After about a year the cowboy came in and ordered two whiskey sours and a glass of coke. Again the revised ritual went on and on until the bartender asked him about it. The cowboy explained that one of his brothers had been drafted, sent to war and killed in battle, so now he was drinking to his memory. Another year later the cowboy changed his order again, this time ordering a whiskey sour, a glass of coke and a glass of 7-Up. The bartender said, "Oh no, did your other brother die?" The cowboy responded, "No,, he stopped drinking."

Enjoy.

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.