Hostility

@murkywaters
Sounds like my husband in the beginning. I'm not sure it is any better a few years later but I just try to pick my battles .His dr put him on Sertraline which seems to have taken some of the edge off. Still, he will say something so confusing to me and when I try to clarify by asking a question he gets angry. I've learned to just be quiet. He does not realize that what he has said is "off" or maybe even opposite of what he means to say. One day he pretty much on one occasion spoke gibberish. I was afraid he was having a stroke. Watched him for a while. I don't much enjoy being around him either. He won't do anything except play golf maybe once a week and he mostly complains about the other players...all but one. Then he sleeps. He has become very thin and he says the Sertraline affects his stomach. It may but I've asked him to talk to his doctor. Does he? I doubt it. He has always had a persnickety stomach. And his griping has increased - - much like that of his late mother.
Today he agreed to do something!!!!!We did and he made it absolutely no fun. He showed no joy and I could tell all he was doing was watching his wristwatch. I made the best of it. He's asleep now and I enjoyed getting out, walking a little and enjoying the sunshine of a beautiful day.
I, myself, had a check-up last week and talked with my dr. I'm going to try to book him with a neurologist at a place she suggested. It will take a long time to get in but I must try.

I feel for you. I'm living a very similar life.

@kmliste He's been seen by a neurologist, and got an MRI. No physical changes noted on the report.

Husband's psychiatrist (who deals with dementias) had him do an MRI and it showed signs for MCI.
How did your husband get the diagnosis with no changes?

Not sure. His family doctor suspected it and referred him. Going with him to the follow-up MRI visit to ask questions about the findings.

@kmliste A standard MRI shows anatomy, not how brain cells are actively using energy or communicating. Functional or metabolic decline often happens before physical structure breaks down.

It also shows shrinkage of brain.@murky waters

@murkywaters
Hi, have you called him out on his behaviors? You are still a human with feelings, so hopefully he's not too far along that he will respond when you tell him how his behaviors make you feel.
I tried that once with my husband when he pushed me, I puffed up as big as I could and told him loudly that his behavior was B.S. He backed down for a bit.
If, however your husband does not have empathy anymore, or is too far gone, this may not work.
Sometimes I just have to leave the room when I can't handle my husband's behaviors (after ensuring he's safe for me to leave alone).
Good luck to you. 🌻

@murkywaters There's a wealth of information on this site, and I also find Dr. Natali Edmonds, Careblazers has all kinds of utubes on dealing with difficult MCI, Altzheimers-Dementia loved ones. The pick your battles is sage advice because you just can't argue with them. But you can divert and do things that make them feel less agitated and more peaceful. Tap into some of those UTUBES; they are very helpful in understanding and handling his "murky (challenging) waters."
Best, Karla

Don't bother asking. It didn't work for me. Just make sure he doesn't do anything that could hurt either one of you. Do you belong to AARP? They have great programs here in Tucson. We also have "Pima Council of Aging.
Is he able to go out with you? Does he like to be around othere? That could calm him down I actually miss the out bursts since my husband just left last Tuesday. This horrible disease killed him in less than 3 years. I think I would be dealing with him than his relatives .
Walk out of the room, if you can. He might calm down and you can distract him with doing something else. It is so hard as we know what out come will be. HUGS

@kmliste Gee! All these stories are so similar. Mine is over now. I am fighting with the relatives as they want to go against my husband's last wishes. Do you have all papers done?
Why aren't going to the doctor with him? We always went together. Isn't he seeing any type of Alzheimer's doctor? None of the drugs he was given did anything for him.
Hang in there! Love ❤️ Annie