Share this:
amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 610
Joined: Jul 02, 2012

~ Just about done with everything ~

Posted by @amberpep, Sep 11, 2017

Hi all … first I want to apologize for this note. I know you all must get tired of hearing it and I don’t blame you. I’m just about done with everything ….. I like my apartment, but the kids upstairs are so loud, screeching, running, banging furniture around, and it sounds like they drop bowling balls on the floor (I’m sure they’re not, but they’re something heavy), and it goes on til 11. They’re so loud in the living room my sliding glass door rattles. I’ve had 3 kids and I know kids are noisy, but this is way beyond noise. The policeman living aside of them went over one night and gave them “what for” and for a few days it was quiet. Last week I had to write a note to the Mgr. but never heard back. I don’t think they’re going to do a darn thing about it. I have absolutely no energy or interest in unpacking all these boxes … they make me sick to see them. My family is bickering about “an I-phone or GPS for Mom.” Geez, you’d think I didn’t have a brain. I should have never, ever, moved. Yes, I love being with my girls, but they have their lives and are busy and I can’t expect them to entertain me ….. Lord knows, I don’t want to be entertained. If my condo weren’t sold, I’d go back. I close my eyes and daydream about sitting in my living room up there, feeling safe, cozy, and happy. And ….. these da_n teeth are a pain. I’ve read about them and it takes quite awhile to get used to them …. I’ll say …. right now it feels like a mouth full of rocks. As soon as I’m home out they come. I should just go away and hide and become the “shrunken face lady” in the mountains. I thought I was through all the crap when my divorce went through …. guess not.
abby

REPLY

Hi Abby, @amberpep

I’m so sorry to hear of your loud neighbors, that is a very annoying problem. Remember that somewhere in your lease it probably states that you are entitled to “quiet enjoyment” so if you keep the management aware of the problem, they will be required to do something eventually. Hang in there – we are in your corner and wishing you well.

Teresa

I can see you’re in a hard place right now. So, it feels like it did after the divorce? How did you deal with the feelings at that time? Maybe you can remember the ways you coped, and maybe some of those things could come to your aid again.

If I were in your place, I know I’d be totally overwhelmed by everything, including the unpacked boxes. I think that it would help me to just unpack one box each day. That would probably help me feel less overwhelmed.

I have a little journal that I write in when I have a hard day. I don’t write every day, but when I do, it feels good to see it on paper. I probably should write when I have a good day, too. Seeing that on paper would be good for me, too. Have you ever kept a journal?

I found that ear plugs are good.

Jim

Hi Jim … yea, I’ve journaled for years …. guess the bottom line was I should have never moved.
abby

@jimhd

I can see you’re in a hard place right now. So, it feels like it did after the divorce? How did you deal with the feelings at that time? Maybe you can remember the ways you coped, and maybe some of those things could come to your aid again.

If I were in your place, I know I’d be totally overwhelmed by everything, including the unpacked boxes. I think that it would help me to just unpack one box each day. That would probably help me feel less overwhelmed.

I have a little journal that I write in when I have a hard day. I don’t write every day, but when I do, it feels good to see it on paper. I probably should write when I have a good day, too. Seeing that on paper would be good for me, too. Have you ever kept a journal?

I found that ear plugs are good.

Jim

Jump to this post

Hi Jim ..No, this is nothing like the divorce …. that was 12 years ago … this is the typical “sorry I moved” feeling. I should have never given in to my kids and left a place where I felt “planted”, where I’d lived for over 30 years and moved to a totally new area which I don’t care for. Unfortunately I sold my condo in MD, so I can’t go back to that. I’m 72, so it won’t be long. abby

This is a low income community, so we’re all in the same financial boat. But I just also found out the woman below me is quite sick ….. she is bi-polar and won’t take her meds ….. she says she’s fine. She’s often seen walking her dog in a heavy black winter coat in summer, or if not that, then a black hoodie with her face covered. I’ve been warned by several people that she’s a “stalker” and hates anyone that lives above her. If I get a knock on the door, I simply won’t answer it. I wonder what else will happen. Aren’t these the “golden years?”
abby

@amberpep

Hi Jim … yea, I’ve journaled for years …. guess the bottom line was I should have never moved.
abby

Jump to this post

Abby @amberpep We all have things in our past that we regret. The challenge for today is what we choose to do moving ahead. That is, for me, a huge challenge, as I’ve never liked to make decisions to begin with. Adding depression to the mix, I could easily live the rest of my life staying right where I am, where I don’t have to make any decisions. I guess that’s not really an option.

Jim

Hi all ….. well, this has been quite a weekend, and I may have hit on something that could help. I saw my Psychiatrist last week, and besides our usual talk and discussion of medications, he wrote out a script for me to have a thyroid blood test done. Now, I’ve been taking Synthroid for 2 years (Big Pharma’s favorite). I have a good friend from Germany who has lived in the states for many years and she is a real researcher (not academically, but she really goes after things). She told me to go to Amazon, type in “Stop the Madness” and take a look at all the books there written about how hypothyroidism affects depression. So, I started to dig, I ordered one of the books, the first book, and also checked a lot of reputable sites about this. Wow. What I didn’t know was astounding. In the states usually what is tested is T-3 and T-4, but there are others that could, and should be tested, especially with a patient who struggles with severe depression. My friend told me that she had to virtually fight with her Internist to get him to have her get the other tests (don’t know what they are yet, but I’ll find out). He relented and sure enough, very low thyroid, and she was on Synthroid. She knew of a medication for this that is commonly used in Germany and works far better than Synthroid, and insisted he Rx it for her. She has to send to Canada for it as it’s not available in the States – Big Pharma’s influence again. For the passed several years I feel like just a slug …. I’ve just moved into a new apt. ….. I don’t want to unpack, don’t want to do the dishes, don’t want to wash my face at night, basically, I don’t want to do anything but sit and sleep. This morning I had planned to go to church, had everything laid out to wear, alarm set, and I was sitting eating my breakfast, and I totally fell asleep. I woke up 1-1/2 hrs. later. This is very common for me … I’d say 5 days out of 7. So, I am going to call my Internist tomorrow and make an appt. to see her and talk about this, show her the Rx, and tell her about what I’d learned. When I get the book, I’ll take that in. I have a strong suspicion this could be part of my depression, not all of it, but part. About 10 years ago I was coming home on the train from St. Louis (an overnighter), and when I woke in the AM I had a small itchy bump on my hand. By the time I got from Chicago to MD I had hives all over my body the size of plates – I was scared to death. I called my doctor, and she was out that day, so they gave me to the “senior” member who should have retired years before, and he Rx-d cortisone, which is usual. But, he Rx-d a bottle of them and told me that as soon as I got home to take 6 (yes, six!) of them, and then start the next AM with 1 or two several times a day. Well, by midnight I was acting like I was on a drug high ….. sooooooooo happy, dancing, singing, doing and saying strange things ….. just totally manic. A girlfriend I was with that evening told me I should not drive …. she didn’t know what was wrong, but something was. But, OH NO, I knew I was fine …. just “happy.” She stayed that night as she was worried and the next day I went to my regular Internist. She was absolutely appalled by me, my behavior and everything else was so not me. I told her what happened, but again – I was fine!!!! She immediately gave me the regular pred-pack, and another med. which I can’t remember, told me NOT to drive, and to call her if I felt anything stranger happening (like I would have known). She said because of the little dot that itched, she suspected I was bitten by a juvenile black widow spider and I was highly allergic to it. She wanted my friend to bring me in every day that week, and then once a week for 6 weeks. She said that if in 6 weeks I was still manic, we were going to have to do some serious tests ….. she said the quantity of prednisone I had taken originally (6) had totally blown out my adrenal glands and if they didn’t recover fully, we’d have to do testing. (the “senior” doctor who Rx’d that ridiculous amount immediately retired). Well, I came down from the high in about 5 weeks, but since then I’m tired all the time, fall asleep at the drop of a hat, dry skin, have gained weight for no reason, and I just don’t have the energy to do anything at all. I think I said that it is not uncommon for me to fall asleep in the middle of eating, which is what happened today. My friend told me since she’s been taking the other medication (and I don’t know the name), she has to send for them to Canada, she’s beginning to feel much, much, better. She told me that synthroid is hardly ever used in Germany anymore as they have found that this is far more effective, but Big Pharma has us sending for it to Canada. If you’re interested, go to Amazon, and type in “Stop the Madness” and a list of books will come up. I got the first one (it’s the second edition) and I’ll go from there. I hope it comes soon so I can take it into my doctor and talk about it. I’m so thankful for a sharp Psychiatrist, who seems to be on top of things like this, moreso than my Internists.
abby

@amberpep

Hi all ….. well, this has been quite a weekend, and I may have hit on something that could help. I saw my Psychiatrist last week, and besides our usual talk and discussion of medications, he wrote out a script for me to have a thyroid blood test done. Now, I’ve been taking Synthroid for 2 years (Big Pharma’s favorite). I have a good friend from Germany who has lived in the states for many years and she is a real researcher (not academically, but she really goes after things). She told me to go to Amazon, type in “Stop the Madness” and take a look at all the books there written about how hypothyroidism affects depression. So, I started to dig, I ordered one of the books, the first book, and also checked a lot of reputable sites about this. Wow. What I didn’t know was astounding. In the states usually what is tested is T-3 and T-4, but there are others that could, and should be tested, especially with a patient who struggles with severe depression. My friend told me that she had to virtually fight with her Internist to get him to have her get the other tests (don’t know what they are yet, but I’ll find out). He relented and sure enough, very low thyroid, and she was on Synthroid. She knew of a medication for this that is commonly used in Germany and works far better than Synthroid, and insisted he Rx it for her. She has to send to Canada for it as it’s not available in the States – Big Pharma’s influence again. For the passed several years I feel like just a slug …. I’ve just moved into a new apt. ….. I don’t want to unpack, don’t want to do the dishes, don’t want to wash my face at night, basically, I don’t want to do anything but sit and sleep. This morning I had planned to go to church, had everything laid out to wear, alarm set, and I was sitting eating my breakfast, and I totally fell asleep. I woke up 1-1/2 hrs. later. This is very common for me … I’d say 5 days out of 7. So, I am going to call my Internist tomorrow and make an appt. to see her and talk about this, show her the Rx, and tell her about what I’d learned. When I get the book, I’ll take that in. I have a strong suspicion this could be part of my depression, not all of it, but part. About 10 years ago I was coming home on the train from St. Louis (an overnighter), and when I woke in the AM I had a small itchy bump on my hand. By the time I got from Chicago to MD I had hives all over my body the size of plates – I was scared to death. I called my doctor, and she was out that day, so they gave me to the “senior” member who should have retired years before, and he Rx-d cortisone, which is usual. But, he Rx-d a bottle of them and told me that as soon as I got home to take 6 (yes, six!) of them, and then start the next AM with 1 or two several times a day. Well, by midnight I was acting like I was on a drug high ….. sooooooooo happy, dancing, singing, doing and saying strange things ….. just totally manic. A girlfriend I was with that evening told me I should not drive …. she didn’t know what was wrong, but something was. But, OH NO, I knew I was fine …. just “happy.” She stayed that night as she was worried and the next day I went to my regular Internist. She was absolutely appalled by me, my behavior and everything else was so not me. I told her what happened, but again – I was fine!!!! She immediately gave me the regular pred-pack, and another med. which I can’t remember, told me NOT to drive, and to call her if I felt anything stranger happening (like I would have known). She said because of the little dot that itched, she suspected I was bitten by a juvenile black widow spider and I was highly allergic to it. She wanted my friend to bring me in every day that week, and then once a week for 6 weeks. She said that if in 6 weeks I was still manic, we were going to have to do some serious tests ….. she said the quantity of prednisone I had taken originally (6) had totally blown out my adrenal glands and if they didn’t recover fully, we’d have to do testing. (the “senior” doctor who Rx’d that ridiculous amount immediately retired). Well, I came down from the high in about 5 weeks, but since then I’m tired all the time, fall asleep at the drop of a hat, dry skin, have gained weight for no reason, and I just don’t have the energy to do anything at all. I think I said that it is not uncommon for me to fall asleep in the middle of eating, which is what happened today. My friend told me since she’s been taking the other medication (and I don’t know the name), she has to send for them to Canada, she’s beginning to feel much, much, better. She told me that synthroid is hardly ever used in Germany anymore as they have found that this is far more effective, but Big Pharma has us sending for it to Canada. If you’re interested, go to Amazon, and type in “Stop the Madness” and a list of books will come up. I got the first one (it’s the second edition) and I’ll go from there. I hope it comes soon so I can take it into my doctor and talk about it. I’m so thankful for a sharp Psychiatrist, who seems to be on top of things like this, moreso than my Internists.
abby

Jump to this post

I have suffered from depression for a number of years. When my psychiatrist saw that I had a history of “low normal” thyroid she added levothyroxin to my nortryptilin and it helped immensely. This was after testing, of course, and the testing included more that just T3 and T4.

That’s great ….. I think most docs. just go with T3 and T4, which is where the problem starts.
abby

Hi Abby @amberpep

I was just thinking about the lovely view you said you had in your new apartment. Have the colors started to change in your area yet? If so, it must be beautiful! Would love to hear from you.

Teresa

Hi Teresa ….. thank you for thinking of me. The trees are all changing rather oddly this year …. sort of patchy. I still have some hummingbirds coming to my feeder, and also some tufted titmice and chickadees are coming to my black oil feeder. Now that’s really odd. Those hummers should have headed for Mexico a long time ago. I haven’t written much lately because it’s just the same old/same old. I’m in my new apartment … quite large, but lots of problems …. extremely loud neighbors (I’m sure the teens above me must practice gymnastics), lots of drugs everywhere, ambulance is here at least 3x a week and fire engines about 2, there’s a woman who lives below me who is paranoid schizophrenic and who won’t take her meds because “she’s fine.” She walks her dog in summer in a long black heavy coat, head covered, and I’m told that she’s a stalker and to be careful of her. There’s all sorts of things to deal with …. believe me, I’m well locked in here … door lock, padlock, and a heavy metal 3 ft. pole with rubber at both end that tucks underneath the doorknob and the metal bar presses onto the floor. I just hate to think that this is the place I will live out my last days. But, it is what it is, and by then I won’t care anyhow.
abby

@amberpep

Hi Teresa ….. thank you for thinking of me. The trees are all changing rather oddly this year …. sort of patchy. I still have some hummingbirds coming to my feeder, and also some tufted titmice and chickadees are coming to my black oil feeder. Now that’s really odd. Those hummers should have headed for Mexico a long time ago. I haven’t written much lately because it’s just the same old/same old. I’m in my new apartment … quite large, but lots of problems …. extremely loud neighbors (I’m sure the teens above me must practice gymnastics), lots of drugs everywhere, ambulance is here at least 3x a week and fire engines about 2, there’s a woman who lives below me who is paranoid schizophrenic and who won’t take her meds because “she’s fine.” She walks her dog in summer in a long black heavy coat, head covered, and I’m told that she’s a stalker and to be careful of her. There’s all sorts of things to deal with …. believe me, I’m well locked in here … door lock, padlock, and a heavy metal 3 ft. pole with rubber at both end that tucks underneath the doorknob and the metal bar presses onto the floor. I just hate to think that this is the place I will live out my last days. But, it is what it is, and by then I won’t care anyhow.
abby

Jump to this post

Hi Abby @amberpep

It is good to hear from you! Nature outside of your window seems to be offering you some breaks from the difficulties you find with the “humans” in your environment. Do you ever take pictures of the view ? I’m sure that as the seasons change you could have a very lovely album of the world outside your window – sounds like a good title for a book, doesn’t it?

Keep in touch, we all experience the phenomena that you describe as “just the same old/same old” and we can appreciate what you are experiencing when you say that. We still want to hear from you.

Blessings,

Teresa

@amberpep

Hi Teresa ….. thank you for thinking of me. The trees are all changing rather oddly this year …. sort of patchy. I still have some hummingbirds coming to my feeder, and also some tufted titmice and chickadees are coming to my black oil feeder. Now that’s really odd. Those hummers should have headed for Mexico a long time ago. I haven’t written much lately because it’s just the same old/same old. I’m in my new apartment … quite large, but lots of problems …. extremely loud neighbors (I’m sure the teens above me must practice gymnastics), lots of drugs everywhere, ambulance is here at least 3x a week and fire engines about 2, there’s a woman who lives below me who is paranoid schizophrenic and who won’t take her meds because “she’s fine.” She walks her dog in summer in a long black heavy coat, head covered, and I’m told that she’s a stalker and to be careful of her. There’s all sorts of things to deal with …. believe me, I’m well locked in here … door lock, padlock, and a heavy metal 3 ft. pole with rubber at both end that tucks underneath the doorknob and the metal bar presses onto the floor. I just hate to think that this is the place I will live out my last days. But, it is what it is, and by then I won’t care anyhow.
abby

Jump to this post

It was so good to hear from you ….. thank you. I feel like such a whiner and I need to be grateful for what I have and be a blessing to those around me. The difficulty I’m having is it has been non-stop difficulties with every step I’ve taken since I decided to move to VA. To me, that says I never should have left MD. But, too late for that now as my condo was sold. With this experience, I would never encourage any older person to move out of their “nest” to be closer to their kids. That never happened when I was in my 20’s and 30’s ….. my now X and I did the running back and forth to see and take care of our parents. Now we’re to go to them.
I know I’m a downer, but this is the cold, unvarnished truth …. for once in my life I’m glad for my age ….. soon it will be over.
abby

Hi Abby, @amberpep

I appreciate the honest, sharing of your feelings! You do that well and it encourages others to be open and vulnerable as well. Keep posting.

Teresa

Hello everyone i want to share something please forgive my bad english
Sometimes when i yawn my jaw popps a little and it happens to all but i didn’t know about it so i search on Google to know the cause in shows a disorder tmd and after 2 days of reading all about tmd and started checking my jaw every minute for unusual things like opening jaw several times in a day, yawning for know reason only to check popping noise and first there was no pain not a single issue only popping but after 2 days of foolish checking of jaw i developed pain in my jaw its like i check my jaw every minute to listen popping and click noise and i swear there was no pain no problem only the popping and clicking and when i asked my dentist friend he told me that 60 percent of people jaw click with no pain its normal but i constantly check my jaw dont know what to do

Please login or register to post a reply.