Help - Dealing with Hubby who needs hip implant and refuses.....

He has been to a very well qualified and respected surgeon who gave him shots until they were no longer providing relief and then told hm surgery is what he needed. He refused. He can barely walk and when he does is all bent up and moans and groans continuously. As he says, he is just waiting to die. He is only 83 and in pretty good health except for the hip.

His daughter (who lives 5 miles away) hooked him up with a traveling pain management doc - one that goes from hospital to hospital within a system. He has dozens of patients on the day, they are all gotten ready by the nurse and the doc pops in gives the shot and leaves. His first visit he was given a prescription for a cream that "the doctor says was better than the medications available and he had made up by a pharmacy" It was pricey $95.00 and insurance doesn't cover it.

A couple of shots later, he was directed to a physician's assistant w. the doc that gave him a sales pitch on medical marijuana to help him. Pretty hard core pitch too. I said NO. Medical marijuana has its place but this just didn't seem right.

I have been expressing my concerns about this doc, but Hubby says his daughter swears by him. Let me just say that his daughter seems to find docs that go from hospital to hospital. She doesn't have a primary care doc because they won't do what she wants.....you get the pic. Whatever new condition comes down the pike she has it.

I did talk to my primary doc and told him what was going on and he expressed concern saying that it made one wonder just who was really getting helped. Told Hubby but he still insists.

Anyway he is gotten miserable to live with. He has a walker and a rollator and refuses to use either. Also has those grapit deals but theya re always in the wrong place when he needs one. So I get to pick up after him.

I have problems wtih my knees and have problems walking, bending down etc. I really haven't been out of house all summer as Hubby wants me around all the time. We have seen his daughter only once since May - for 15 min. (she was busy). She stopped by to talk to just him, and when I walked in the room she shut up, but I heard her asking about his will, which is disturbing.

I called her up last week and asked if she would sit with her Dad so I could go to a movie, she could choose the day. Nope,, she is too busy. But she told me to throw him into a respite center for the day!!!

Sorry to be long, but I find myself crying at times. I could use any help and suggestions on getting support. I want to get help with housework as it is hard for me to vacuum due to balance and I have difficulty kneeling down but he gets upset and claims we can't afford it (we could once or twice a month). Thus the house, well, the kitchen could use a good cleaning and the carpets need to be cleaned. This always results in a very unpleasant nasty argument with him.