Giving up activities and relationships

I know the feeling.
After my stroke, I couldn't do most of the things I had enjoyed my whole life.
Many of my "friends" abandoned me, and some of those who stayed in contact wanted stuff from me that I could no longer provide.
Seeing the tools of old hobbies, like cameras or even luggage (I can't really travel anymore) is a very sad feeling.
But I go on. I can still do some stuff, and I have even discovered a new hobby, my YouTube channel, which is not only about my stroke journey, but some "Dad Jokes" that have been broadcast on TV. (I never saw that coming!)
Check it out. Maybe it will inspire you.
https://m.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos

@ktcosmos Im so sorry that you’re have to give up hobbies- those are really important! Your husband is dependent on you staying healthy, including mental health. Is there any respite care services nearby?
Is it possible that you could afford a home health provider for a couple of hours a week, hopefully billed to insurance or Medicare?

I’ve offered to day-sit for a few hours for a Tai Chi friend’s husband who had a stroke and at this point cannot stay by himself (stroke 2 years ago). She is a gifted quilter and feels she must give up going to meetings to stay home with him. She is his full time caregiver and you can just see her withering away. She worries she can’t “pay” me back - but it takes a community that we all depend on when we need help. I ask her to just “pay it forward” but so far she hasn’t taken me up on my offer.

Is there anyone who could provide a few hours off for you? Church members? Community group members? Maybe put out a few “feelers” when you’re around others about looking for someone to help out. Or maybe there is a dementia group around and you could find another person willing to trade off, if the dementia patient can travel to another’s house.

Yes, the cameras (gave all my equipment to my oldest son and still miss my darkroom!)! And the feeling when I look at my luggage and my sweet little camping trailer.

Great ideas. I especially like dementia respite trading. My husband doesn’t recognize the extent of his needs and thinks it’s weird I lined up for him to have a wide array of help while had to be away for a few days lately.

I understand how challenging it can be for you. I recently quit working to be able to care for my husband. I was looking forward to an "early" retirement, but it was a sacrifice to give up a very successful career to care for him. It felt like giving up a big part of who I am. I am able to have some time for hobbies that I can do in close proximity to him, but I can relate to the part you shared about all the things you loved doing being replaced by taking care of your spouse. I am bowing out of social engagements more and more. Even short day travel is getting more challenging to manage with him. Everything is more work for me when we go somewhere together. He has Parkinson's and Lewy Body Dementia, so his movements are very slow and unstable and it just takes a lot longer to do things with him than it would if I went by myself. I end up ordering most things to be delivered when I can, so I don't go out as much. I am concerned about how he will behave when we are out with others and let's be honest, he isn't a very engaging conversationalist anymore so going to dinner with other couples doesn't really seem fair to the other couple. I have been trying to find ONE hobby that I like to do and do that for an hour or two each week. I find that if I "schedule it" on my calendar, that seems to help. I may only get an hour of a hobby in each week, but it does make me happier! He tends to take a nap in the afternoons, so that is a good time for me to plan to do something that I like to do, even if it means some other household chores have to wait. I don't have any great answers for you, but just wanted to post and let you know that your aren't alone, and that I am in a similar situation. Take care of you.

Yes, I do! All of us hear you. We are giving up things we never imagined when we said I do! I can still be busy.. but as a Caregiver everything they need comes first. It is difficult at times. But know you are more than enough as well!