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In the past three days I’ve “lost” my son and daughter because they don’t understand my mental illness. So, so sad.
@peach414144 . I believe in my heart that our children need to know the truth. I had to tell my 6 year old son that his father had just killed himself . This same son has a brother who killed himself 3 years ago in the same tragic manner. I'm 75 and have had lots of practice trying to decide whether I should tell my children the truth. In my own opinion, children need to know who their parents are. They are then invited to decide with knowledge, how to move into the future. By the way, I'm thinking you deserve to be loved for the loving mom you always have been. And as for your son, he sounds like an incredibly strong person, and you could both love and lean on and support each other. Blessings.
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Hello Georgette 12 this is Peach. I think you did the right thing when you told your young son the truth. It is what is is, Good luck. Peach
Thank you for acknowledging me. I did feel like I got sidetracked and forgotten about. I just saw my therapist . It helped. I'm now staying at a crisis center until Saturday. I think it's a pretty good plan to keep me safe from self harm. The only thing is that it's pretty lonely as most people all but two dont come out. And anyway I'm feeling pretty lonely because I have no family connections for the holidays. This causes me to feel sad and broken hearted. I miss my kids so much. But since last Thursday two of them have indicated that they dont want me in their life. It feels as if they have died. I am so grievious. The only thing I know that I have done wrong is have a mental illness. I have supported and loved them unconditionally beyond jugement.
@twinkie That was a smart decision, to stay in a crisis center for a few days. I hope that while there you are able to connect with others who can become a "new" type of family for you. Like @jimhd has said, support is so critical to find, both professional and others in similar situations as yourself. I have few family connections myself, and years ago my twin brother told both me and a potential employer that I have mental issues, and he wouldn't trust me. Haven't heard from him in over 20 years. So I had to extend myself to find others of my like mind. It's hard to do, and being vulnerable like that is scary. I hope the next few days bring you some comfort, and help you see a different path to take and feel better. We care about you and want to hear how it goes for you.
This Thanksgiving I want to thank our forum members and mentors for sharing such deep and searing feelings. There are no words that adequately express my appreciation for those who have opened their hearts and bared their souls. Many blessings.
@twinkie I hope your stay will be healing. When we're at the place, so close to the brink, we truly need to be with people who understand where we are, people who are equipped to pull us back from the brink of death. Even so, you need to speak up either in group sessions or in a private time with counselors, and be sure that they know just how fragile you are. They may not realize the severity of your struggle.
The place I went to was not a residential facility, but organized only for short term crisis intervention. Can you stay longer if you feel you need to? I pray the best for you 🙏
Hi @twinkie, I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you today and that you're not alone. I and other members of this community are only a cyber click away. Are there any activities or a special meal planned at the crisis center today? How are you doing?
Hi Colleen. No activities. Pretty boring. Doing lots of reading and listening to music. Not relating to any staff or clients. Did a telepsyce with my provider and that was helpful. I like her and have known her a long time. She got me out of bed to shower and recommended a new book. I'm still so sad, lonely and heartbroken. I wish I had a family. It's hard not to, especially today 🙁
That's great that you can be connected to your therapist by telepsyche. What book are you reading?
I get that you're still so sad, lonely and heartbroken. Today's a tough day for many people. I wonder if there are others (clients and staff) in crisis center feeling like you do and just need an invitation. Is there a common area that you could invite someone to join you for a game of cards? Or some activity that doesn't make any obliged to talk, but has you sharing space and time together?
@twinkie I remember spending Thanksgiving in the crisis center, and was still there for my wife's birthday on the 13th of December. I set a goal to be out before Christmas, and I made it, even though I still wasn't safe.
I've been in the hospital several times, and I felt very lonely when no one came to see me. It's hard.
Hearing from your therapist was great. Perhaps you can focus on your conversation over the next couple of days. You're there for You. Can you try to hold on to the things that are helping you? Take good care of yourself these few days.
Well, it wasnt my therapist, but a provider. We have to see one every day. Thanks for the positive ideas, but the people who are interacting aren't as high functioning as I am. No disrespect intended. Thanks for your support.
Twinkie, so happy you are in a healing environment. You may not see us but you forum buddies are with you. Blessings
Hi Jim, sitting here in the crisis center feeling suicidal and no one to talk to. Isnt that ironic. I just feel like I have no purpose or will to go on. Like I mean…what for. My kids dont want me in their lives, so that's gone. I just imagine lying here formulating a plan to kill myself between now and Christmas so my broken borderline heart wont hurt so much anymore. I need someone to care really care that I have these thoughts.
I'm really struggling. Thoughts of suicide running rapid. Feeling so lonely going through this alone. Dont want to tell the truth for fear they will put me in group home. Looking for support. Want to call my kids and beg for their love and attention.
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