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godsgirl1969
@godsgirl1969

Posts: 13
Joined: Jan 16, 2018

drug-resistant depression (DRD)

Posted by @godsgirl1969, Tue, Jan 16 7:09pm

I apparently have drug resistant depression : I have been on antidepressants for 20+ years some helped for awhile and now it seems like nothing helps. I also talk to a therapist once a week talking helps a little at least for that day. I am really wanting some insight from others that have struggled with this. I have been looking into ketamine injections or transcranial magnetic stimulation? Has anyone out there tried either of these and if so I would love to hear the effects it had? I’m tired of crying and tired of trying to get through every day!

REPLY

@godsgirl

Welcome, God’s girl. Many of us have been dealing with treatment resistant depression over the long term. I tried quite a few antidepressants before landing on Wellbutrin. I was approved for ECT several years ago, but I live 150 miles from the nearest facility that gives the treatment, and after trying for weeks to figure out the logistics, I gave up on it. It was too overwhelming for me. My wife was opposed to it, which made it worse.

Chronic pain from neuropathy in my feet has been contributing to the depression. I finally had a spinal cord stimulator implant in June of 2017, and after a few adjustments over the course of six months, it has reduced the pain to a bearable level. I take morphine sulfate contin for the pain, and sometimes add oxycodone to it.

Recently my psychiatrist added Mirtazapine, because I was feeling more depressed, and it’s helped. I have taken Klonopin for 12 years for anxiety, as well.

I’ve had weekly therapy since 2006, except for 18 months in 2016 and the first part of 2017. By April I was pretty desperate, very depressed and suicidal, and the new therapist put me in the first opening.

I had to retire from the ministry when I was 56, because of depression, anxiety, PTSD and suicidal ideation. I understand how much it hurts to live with mental pain for a long time. It’s very difficult for me because as a pastor, I was expected to have it together, and people abandoned me when I needed them most. I talk with the therapist nearly every week about the guilt I feel that I think I shouldn’t feel because of my Christian faith.

Getting ahead of my pain helped me dig out of the dark hole I had fallen into last year, along with therapy and medications.

I’ve tried in the past to add a secondary medication that would augment the Wellbutrin, one of them Abilify, but they didn’t have any effect. Adding Mirtazapine (Remeron) is the first time a secondary medication has helped reduce depression.

Can you tell us what you’ve tried that has been helpful, even a little bit? Have you tried marijuana or an alternative treatment? Is transcranial or ECT accessable?

There are some discussions that might be of interest to you in the mental health group. There’s one that’s specifically about long term depression.

I think you’ll find support, information and people with common interests here. I’m glad you found the group.

Jim

Thank you for sharing with me. Prozac was the best for me I was on it for 8 years then it just stopped working. I have been on celexa, Prozac, Wellbutrin, remeron (made me sleep too much) Lexapro, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, pristique, buspirone. Haven’t tried marijuana, i’m already tired with no energy. ECT probably isn’t the most handy thing for me, I would have to travel a ways however I wouldn’t have to go to far for the ketamine. Just wondering about long
term effects? It seems the older I get the worse my depression is and now I have anxiety on top of it. Doesn’t help that my last child just graduated and moved out :/ proud mom that my kids are living on their own and doing good just hard for me to have a empty house and no identity anymore 🙁

I have the same issue. Meds rarely help. ECT did not help. ENLYTE has helped. (I’ve posted about ENLYTE.) but my life situation took a turn for the worse last week and I guess that sent me over the top.

@godsgirl1969

Thank you for sharing with me. Prozac was the best for me I was on it for 8 years then it just stopped working. I have been on celexa, Prozac, Wellbutrin, remeron (made me sleep too much) Lexapro, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, pristique, buspirone. Haven’t tried marijuana, i’m already tired with no energy. ECT probably isn’t the most handy thing for me, I would have to travel a ways however I wouldn’t have to go to far for the ketamine. Just wondering about long
term effects? It seems the older I get the worse my depression is and now I have anxiety on top of it. Doesn’t help that my last child just graduated and moved out :/ proud mom that my kids are living on their own and doing good just hard for me to have a empty house and no identity anymore 🙁

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@godsgirl1969

Our son moved to Indiana around 15 years ago, and our daughter left home maybe 9 years ago. I have to admit that we all breathed sighs of relief when our son left. He was very high maintenance.

Have your doctors worked with combining antidepressants? I know most of us don’t want to take more meds, but they certainly serve a purpose, and can make it possible to live a more normal life.

Do you have any outside activities? I know that the things I do at church and other places help me maintain some level of stability.

Do you have a counselor? I know how important it is for me to be able to talk with someone. Do you have family close by? I wish I did.

Jim

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@georgette12

I have the same issue. Meds rarely help. ECT did not help. ENLYTE has helped. (I’ve posted about ENLYTE.) but my life situation took a turn for the worse last week and I guess that sent me over the top.

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@georgette12

Do you want to talk about what turned your life on its head?

Jim

Liked by Parus

Talking helps. My husband lost his job due to health. Heart and severe asthma. He is the breadwinner. Also last week it coincided with deceased son’s birthday and suicide. Darkness just kind of enveloped me. Serious financial fear. Fear of how to live. I think, though, the worst fear is fear of losing my grip on my mental health.

Tomorrow, Thursday, I see both my psychiatrist and therapist. I really don’t think they can help anyway.

@georgette12

Talking helps. My husband lost his job due to health. Heart and severe asthma. He is the breadwinner. Also last week it coincided with deceased son’s birthday and suicide. Darkness just kind of enveloped me. Serious financial fear. Fear of how to live. I think, though, the worst fear is fear of losing my grip on my mental health.

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Hi @georgette12

Bless your heart. I wish it was within my power to help you, and I will keep you in my prayers. I know we all have different stories, but we can provide support. Anytime you feel like sharing and just letting go of all your situations and feelings, you are welcome to use me as a sounding friend. All of us have different bottoms we fit into, and when that happens, hope is our saving grace. Please find hope from your professional doctors/therapists, and your life will gradually get better. To bad we don’t understand why bad things happen, but when we recover, we are much stronger and happier. Helping others will help you.

charlie75

Thank you to each of you who respond so kindly. It does help. I truly thought I was getting better and I was. But the events of just my husband sick and son having died just put me over the edge I guess.

@georgette12

Thank you to each of you who respond so kindly. It does help. I truly thought I was getting better and I was. But the events of just my husband sick and son having died just put me over the edge I guess.

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May God watch over you, @georgette12.

Hi DRD,
I can understand your situation as I’ve done a lot of research on medicines, etc, and how the meds treat different types of mental illnesses. Since I have no idea what your diagnosis might be, it is difficult to discuss treatment options. I have bi-polar 1, and I’ve tried to play doctor and treat myself. I would research different drugs and then discuss the drugs with my Doctor and most of the time he would change my meds. and then I would find myself in a worse situation. My Doctor had recommended a mood stabilizer sometime ago, and I nixed that idea due to the stigma of taking that type of drug. I finally found myself in a psych hospital and feeling suicidal. I decided to quit playing Doctor and listen to my Doctor. My Doctor prescribed a lesser dose of antidepressants and added the mood stabilizer. I have responded to this medicine and haven’t experienced the highs and/or lows that had filled my life for so many years. I hope you can find a solution that works for you.
charlie75

@charlie75

Hi DRD,
I can understand your situation as I’ve done a lot of research on medicines, etc, and how the meds treat different types of mental illnesses. Since I have no idea what your diagnosis might be, it is difficult to discuss treatment options. I have bi-polar 1, and I’ve tried to play doctor and treat myself. I would research different drugs and then discuss the drugs with my Doctor and most of the time he would change my meds. and then I would find myself in a worse situation. My Doctor had recommended a mood stabilizer sometime ago, and I nixed that idea due to the stigma of taking that type of drug. I finally found myself in a psych hospital and feeling suicidal. I decided to quit playing Doctor and listen to my Doctor. My Doctor prescribed a lesser dose of antidepressants and added the mood stabilizer. I have responded to this medicine and haven’t experienced the highs and/or lows that had filled my life for so many years. I hope you can find a solution that works for you.
charlie75

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Hi Charlie75, thank you for sharing, I too have done a lot of research on different meds. I have been to a hand full of Dr.s and none of them have even mentioned taking more then one med. they really seem to be baffled and say basically they don’t know what else to do.
I finally got a counselor and it helps somewhat. I always think I’m the only one and I have days where I feel like dying I don’t want to feel this way anymore or put it on my family, it’s not fair to them 🙁 I feel like my only purpose here is to just breath….

@godsgirl1969

Thank you for sharing with me. Prozac was the best for me I was on it for 8 years then it just stopped working. I have been on celexa, Prozac, Wellbutrin, remeron (made me sleep too much) Lexapro, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, pristique, buspirone. Haven’t tried marijuana, i’m already tired with no energy. ECT probably isn’t the most handy thing for me, I would have to travel a ways however I wouldn’t have to go to far for the ketamine. Just wondering about long
term effects? It seems the older I get the worse my depression is and now I have anxiety on top of it. Doesn’t help that my last child just graduated and moved out :/ proud mom that my kids are living on their own and doing good just hard for me to have a empty house and no identity anymore 🙁

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Hi Jim, no the dr.s have not tried more then one med except Effexor and remeron I took 2.5 mil of remeron and it knocked me out so I will not take that one. I do go to the gym and try to be outside when the weather is nice, I also spend a lot of time with my grandkids but I get tired and my anxiety takes over. I have a counselor and that helps but living in this fast paced world I guess I’m just wanting a quick fix. I feel like everyone around me is having fun and enjoying life and i’m on the outside looking in wishing I could either be like that or just die already nobody wants to be here and feel helpless, lonely, and depressed 🙁

@godsgirl1969 Truly a rough road to travel. Seeing others that are helped with medications leaves one, at times, insidiously discouraged. We keep working hard at quality of life even when there are times the emptiness engulfs us and we seek out others that “get it”. Safer that saying anything to those that are near.

@georgette12

Tomorrow, Thursday, I see both my psychiatrist and therapist. I really don’t think they can help anyway.

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@georgette12 Understand how you feel. Mayhap it helps to talk.

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