Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

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@floralou

My adult children do not have anything to do with my husband and I. They have turned their backs on us. They don't come help after surgeries, they don't invite us to holidays or acknowledge us at all. I feel so abandoned, and rejected. I cry a lot. They were raised to be kind and caring but they aren't. They are awful and it make m we feel old and abandoned.

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I know our children can be cruel . It's a non caring me,me,me, world now. Especially since covid. It seems to have brought it out even worse in people. The thing is there time will come,,,,,

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I am 77yo with one daughter and two twin granddaughters. I totally emphathize with you and I am hearing more and more people who are in the same situation. I question why I am even here. I have no purpose and I don't appear to mean anything to the three people who I made my world. I have many diagnosed problems in addition to a "Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder", which is actually fed my other neurological conditions. I feel like I am in my own personal Hell. I appreciate all of you who have strong relationships with God, but there are actually some of us who do not. I wish I did, but I do not. From the time I was molested as a little, through emotional traumas my entire life, I have felt abdoned by Him, hard as I have sought Him out. So, until you walk a mile in my shoes, please don't judge me. I feel not only abandoned, but punished. I have no idea why I am still forced to live in this Hell, and please don't tell me that God is not done with me. What you may not understand because of your own strong religious beliefs is that God was done with me in my childhood, except to punish me. I don't mean to upset you or challenge your beliefs, but some of us do not have the honor of the relationship with God that you do. And, then I feel judged. I am living a miserable life. I am not suicidal, but I am so done. I know there are those who understand, but there are so many who judge.
P

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You’re not useless and you certainly have a lot of life left in you!! You, like me, have a purpose and we have been given the gift of life. No, we don’t function like we did in our 30’s and 40’s, but this doesn’t mean that life is over. You have family. Learn to find why there is a disconnect. Pursue a new hobby, join new groups and try to reach out. Therapy is also a big thing to consider. You sound depressed and unhappy with where you are right now but it doesn’t have to be forever. Take care.

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@pkh3381

I am 77yo with one daughter and two twin granddaughters. I totally emphathize with you and I am hearing more and more people who are in the same situation. I question why I am even here. I have no purpose and I don't appear to mean anything to the three people who I made my world. I have many diagnosed problems in addition to a "Major Depression and Anxiety Disorder", which is actually fed my other neurological conditions. I feel like I am in my own personal Hell. I appreciate all of you who have strong relationships with God, but there are actually some of us who do not. I wish I did, but I do not. From the time I was molested as a little, through emotional traumas my entire life, I have felt abdoned by Him, hard as I have sought Him out. So, until you walk a mile in my shoes, please don't judge me. I feel not only abandoned, but punished. I have no idea why I am still forced to live in this Hell, and please don't tell me that God is not done with me. What you may not understand because of your own strong religious beliefs is that God was done with me in my childhood, except to punish me. I don't mean to upset you or challenge your beliefs, but some of us do not have the honor of the relationship with God that you do. And, then I feel judged. I am living a miserable life. I am not suicidal, but I am so done. I know there are those who understand, but there are so many who judge.
P

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Hi, I just read your post and I do not judge. I was born to an extremely poor, unfuction in my family. My father was a paranoid skysofrenic. Violence was an everyday thing. From there I married an abusive man, didn't know any better. Didn't think it was so wrong to be treated the way I was until he was arrested and made accountable. God is a relationship I learned from day 1..It's all I had.

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My apologies to anyone who took offense to my post. I was not pointing fingers at anyone in Mayo Connect passing judgement. I was just reflecting on my experiences in being judged. I should have made it clear that I was not directing it to ANYONE on Mayo Connect.
I'm sorry.
😢P

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@sally12345

Hi, I just read your post and I do not judge. I was born to an extremely poor, unfuction in my family. My father was a paranoid skysofrenic. Violence was an everyday thing. From there I married an abusive man, didn't know any better. Didn't think it was so wrong to be treated the way I was until he was arrested and made accountable. God is a relationship I learned from day 1..It's all I had.

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My apologies directly to you. I am very sorry. I should have been more clear in my post. I did not mean you, or specifically anyone on Mayo Connect. I was reflecting on my experiences in being judged, which have been many, and I do get on the defensive. It bothers me a lot that I have never felt God in my life or in my heart, Again, my apologies.
P

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Why do we have to feel "useful"? I'm 74, retired 3 years, live alone. I had a successful professional life and, yes, my ego misses that...But Covid fear keeps me from getting involved out in the world.
I used to be a "Real Person"-
Now I feed the birds. And that's okay!

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We all have a story to tell and many of us have lived through serious trauma but fought our way through by whatever means we felt beneficial (relying on our faith, meditation, therapy). Trauma and living with anxiety, depression and PTSD will not control how I live. I chose to be a survivor and not a victim. With the right person, therapy can change your world.

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@toryinhampton

We all have a story to tell and many of us have lived through serious trauma but fought our way through by whatever means we felt beneficial (relying on our faith, meditation, therapy). Trauma and living with anxiety, depression and PTSD will not control how I live. I chose to be a survivor and not a victim. With the right person, therapy can change your world.

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The word that stuck out at me was "I chose." YOU took responsibility .

Nobody chooses to have bad things happen to them, we however can chose what's next.

And yes. It takes hard work.

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@pkh3381

My apologies directly to you. I am very sorry. I should have been more clear in my post. I did not mean you, or specifically anyone on Mayo Connect. I was reflecting on my experiences in being judged, which have been many, and I do get on the defensive. It bothers me a lot that I have never felt God in my life or in my heart, Again, my apologies.
P

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Please do not keep appologising. Your believes are your own and none of anyone elses concern. You are putting too much pressure on yourself. If you feel that you do nothing else just listen to the birds, buy a fish ( I like the Beta due to their beauty and gracefullness as they dance in thier solitary fish bowl). If you have a neighbor bake them some cookies - just something to keep you busy and "Usefull", Madame. All the best to you and your endeavors. I shall think of you this evenig and have you in my prayers this night.

Judith

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