Do pictures of your loved ones hurt or help?

I feel like pictures around when the grief is still raw is not helpful...for me at least. You have to begin in so many ways a new life and that is so very difficult, especially for an older person who had that loved one so close to them for so long. Start doing and meeting new experiences and work through the grief and the pictures will come back out in due time. Our loved ones live within us constantly forever and would want us to adjust to living again. Hugs to you and sending prayers for you to move into a place of greater peace in hour life!

When I look at pictures of my mom when she first passed I couldn’t I put them away, I can only look at them in small doses till this day. It’s been 7 years

I think it would have been more considerate to give it to you in an envelope. When a close loved one of mine died, there was another loved one that would ambush me with pictures on my phone at random times every day. When I would finally be spending some semblance of a normal moment, I would be jolted back into my grief. Obviously, the person sending me all the pictures every day must have found some comfort in them but I wanted it to stop. Anyway, I could tell more of my story but my point is that I think it varies by individual. I am sorry you suffered that pain. In time (years) I have come to cherish all pictures of my lost loved ones, but I still try to respect how I am feeling emotionally, on any given day, before looking at them. I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

Dearest thisismarilymb, I think we all grieve differently. No way is wrong unless you stay angry. A dear friend of mine just lost her daughter. She told me she is not, 'moving forward" but "carrying on". I like that! It's sad how people expect you to grieve a certain way and can say things that are hurtful. I hope that has not happened to you as you have been through so much. I am so sorry you have had a hard life. I've had several deaths over the years including parents, close friends and my second set of parents; my in-laws who passed away 8 months apart. I was so blessed to be with my mom and my mother-in-law when they took their last breath. They went so peacefully to heaven. Pictures helped me....but, I wasn't ready for them right away. Perhaps you are just not ready still to look at pictures of your beloved husband....I think you will be and you will know when the time is right. You are precious to so many here on this website and I know you must have been very special to your husband. You have suffered a great loss. A void and hole in your heart that nobody else can fill. I wish I could just give you a big hug and let you cry on my shoulder, but, instead, I will continue to listen and try and encourage you. "Carry on" as best as you can. Take grief one day at a time.
Hugs & Love.....

Hi @nrocpop -- I do recall being upset once when someone sent me an old picture of my brother when he was bald from the chemo. She sent that years after he passed. I didn't understand why. That might be cute if he had lived, but since he died from his cancer I didn't want to be reminded of it. That was the exact type of image I had worked hard to get out of my mind.

I do enjoy when people send me fun old pics of those I've lost when they were healthy and having a good time. But, like you said, to each his own. My birth family members passed between 5 and 40 years ago. I still miss them and it still boggles my mind that they are all gone, but it's not fresh anymore. I think it's hardest for me when I have something I want to share with them.

Thank you so very much. Today I received a surprise telephone call from someone who taught with him wanting to know how I was. This made me feel so good - that someone cared enough to call and ask me how I was doing. I am trying to pack my suitcase for my upcoming cruise. Leave on Friday. I really am scared and nervous. My first cruise without him. As you say I will carry on as best I can. Thank you for your warm thoughts. Always appreciated.

I think you should put the picture away and replace it with a picture taken in happier times. I lost my dear sister and brother not long ago. I could not look at my brother in the hospital bed without breaking down every-time. I put the picture away and replaced it with an earlier picture. I still have tears but nothing like the hospital bed, etc. i can now deal with it easier but it will take time. Hugs to you.

Yes, I delete/toss all pics I don't like and only keep the healthy, happy ones I want to remember.

Two years ago I suddenly loss my husband after 50 years of marriage.
For me it was very painful to look at photos or to talk about memories.
A friend also sent me a photo of the two of us at an event…when I saw it I immediately put it back into the box and only took it out after two years.
My friend meant well but I wasn’t ready.
Now I slowly take out a photo here and there, but it still is painful …
They say time heals all wounds but I don’t think one ever gets over losing a spouse.

Hi😊
You must be on your cruise and I sure hope you are enjoying all of it. I’m sure it’s difficult but your husband is with you. Our loved ones live on in us and he is proud of you!😊🌷