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Disliking who they’ve become

Posted by Gratia @gratia, Jul 31 6:51pm

It’s difficult to remember the person they were, once the sundowning and personality changes kick in. Is this who they’ve always been on some level? I’m just venting, but the negativity and “sourpuss” energy is soul sucking. So tired today.

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defleurs | @defleurs | 6 hours ago
In reply to @ocdogmom "@defleurs I agree about quality of life over any kind of procedure.I have decided that we..." + (show)
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@defleurs I agree about quality of life over any kind of procedure.I have decided that we are done with the dermatologist and now thankfully we are done with the oncologist as his last PET scan came back negative for the mantle cell lymphoma he had in 2024 and for which he received chemo that just about killed him. From now on it is comfort care only. He is in stage 6 one the FAST scale. I don't know how long he will be in this stage before he gets to stage 7 which is the last stage. This is all so sad. I finally went to see my psychologist today and will see her every week for the next month. She is helping me with the grief that I am feeling every day.

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@ocdogmom
Upsetting to hear your situation. Glad that you discontinued useless follow ups.

Medical science wants to keep us seeing them. We need to decide what is valuable and what is not.

I value each day. There is always something positive that happened.

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ocdogmom | @ocdogmom | 5 hours ago

I am at peace with the decision to discontinue all non-essential medical visits. I, too, value each day. I feel that the time that is left to us should be spent doing pleasant things like tonight we watched the Dodgers game for about ten minutes. That's about all he can do before he wants to get back in bed. I have a daily schedule on a white dry erase board where I can check off the things I need to do. It lists all the morning "chores" and then all the evening "chores" It helps me remember to do all the things that need to be done. For example in the morning I have to go in and get him out of bed, he won't do this himself (thank God- he can still go to the bathroom on his own) and change his night time disposable underwear to the daytime one. I hand him a soapy washcloth so he can wash his face and hands. Something that he will not do on his own then bring him into the kitchen to give him his breakfast and morning pills. He is an insulin dependent diabetic with an insulin pump which I manage every time he eats. There are similar chores in the evening. At the end of the day, I can look at the board and feel like I did good. Today I went and saw my psychologist for the first time since this whole sh*t show began in 2022. I thought I was keeping it together pretty well but I realized I needed help with the grieving I am doing now. I am going to see her once a week for at least a month to help me get through this grief and also my daughter's wedding on September 12. That will be a positive experience.

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