Depression and Anxiety at an older age

Posted by pjss48 @pjss48, Sep 14, 2018

I am a 70 year old woman who has had depression and anxiety for a long time. It got worse 3 years ago when my husband lost one of his jobs. I panicked and my anxiety increased. I was afraid to do things. like driving. I have arthritis pretty bad and foot problems. I’m a Christian and my faith has helped me. My husband was a pastor and our church closed 3 months ago. We’ve had continual stress. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself during the day. I’ve gotten help from several doctors, including a psychiatrist. I also have IBS. I am better. I’m taking trazadone duloxetine, remeron and xanax. Also on osteo biflex, probiotic , bentyl and celebrex. I want to get on Sam e but it may interact with one of my meds. Thanks for listening.

@woogie yes i am sure that would be a good idea. There a lot of us who have gone through that. I did several times myself. In fourth grade a teacher took me in a room where no one was and threw me against the wall. My brother's birlfriend and my brother took me by the hands and feet and threw me one the ground after I got out of college. I had a verbaly abusive mother all my childhood. Then about five years ago my neurologist verbally abused me during one of my office visits. I've had enough of it but I've been able to let it go over my shoulder.

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@woogie

I have a question concerning the pain in your feet–is it caused by spinal stenosis? I have spinal stenosis. I have pain in my back and it radiates down my right leg into my foot. I take pain pills. I need something for my depression. My doctor doesn't actually know how bad it is. I haven't told her. I take so many pills as it is, I don't know what wouldn't interfere with them. I am up and down. I have read where it is called rapid cycling. I don't know if I need uppers or downers! I am not kidding. If I had all of you depressed people in one room for a group meeting, I guarantee you, I would have you laughing. Then, after everyone leaves, I go home, I am super depressed. I need people. This isolation is really making me anxious. I could write a book. I will close for the moment. Take care–all of you. God bless and be with you. The Bible says laughter is the best medicine. Yes, it is. Also, another question! Does your doctor ever give you epidurals for the pain?

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@woogie The pain in my feet and ankles is gradually moving up my legs. Small fiber peripheral neuropathy is the primary culprit, but the neurosurgeon who's going to do the decompression said that stenosis might be responsible for some of it. I won't know until I've recovered from surgery exactly how much of the pain is because of stenosis.

Mental ill health is often due to past abuse, of course, obviously especially true with civilian PTSD. I was raised in a loving home with my 5 siblings, and abuse was never an issue during that time in my life. It came as an adult, working under narcissistic, controlling bosses and fellow staff members, and working as an EMT contributed to it.

Anyone can start a new discussion thread from their account home page.

Jim

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@woogie

Parus, perhaps we should start a group who have had abusive pasts. I would be a member.

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Oh yes. A lot of depression and anxiety are part of PTSD. from domestic violence. Just guessing that we are from the ' good old days' when cruelty was part of our lives disguised as tough love. Humiliation perceived as teasing. Whew have to stop reliving my childhood and get to the uplifting part. With .modern attitudes our pain is identified differently. Once you deal with the past emotionally relieving the physical pain is easier. Only with professional help is there a clear path. I spent 3 decades taking medications for anxiety and ' phantom' pain. Jumping into relationships with other sufferers just stretched out the years and pain. Taking partial responsibility for my children's life issues is like seasoning to my quest for something to remove the pain. It's difficult to let go of our physical pain without quieting our minds.
Along the way we need a club of same souls. It may be larger than. first expected. Im' in let's go!

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@woogie

Hi. I am wondering how you are doing! I was thinking if I had your address, I would send you a card in the mail. I had five boxes of cards delivered to my home (since I don't go to stores). I got them from the Christian Card Company. I love sending cards to people. These cards have Bible verses in them. I got two boxes the same because they are so cute with bunnies an teddie bears on them. I have already sent one full box. I got my dear 94-year-old Christian sister four boxes. She loves writing scripture in cards and sending them to the sick and the lonely. She is a wonderful, strong Christian. I was depressed the other evening–she called me on the phone–we talked for an hour. I was not depressed after we talked. Every one needs a person like her in their life. I met her at an in-home Bible study. The lady who started it went on to be with the Lord. Now, we are supposed to be meeting in a church. She is actually attending–I am not. She is so certain she is going to Heaven, she is looking forward to it. When I read the Bible, I get depressed wondering if I am going to Heaven. I have sinned so much after being saved. I feel guilty. I know Jesus died for me and for you. He came to save the sinners. This I understand. It is so complicated. I know I love Jesus, I love God and I have the Holy Spirit. Anyway, I think of you, I pray each day you are better and better. Repeat, Heal me O' Lord, and I will be healed. There is a wonderful book by Joseph Prince on healing.

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@woogie, You sound like a very caring person. I bet the people who receive your cards do appreciate your thoughtfulness.

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@mothergoose76

Hi, I can relate and have days of negativity. Then, thanks to my meds, I have a few good days. One phrase that irks me is “you are not alone,” Because we are, but thanks to sites like this we are all alone together.

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@mothergoose76, I really like what you wrote that being in groups like these, "we are all alone together".

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@lolaemma

Oh yes. A lot of depression and anxiety are part of PTSD. from domestic violence. Just guessing that we are from the ' good old days' when cruelty was part of our lives disguised as tough love. Humiliation perceived as teasing. Whew have to stop reliving my childhood and get to the uplifting part. With .modern attitudes our pain is identified differently. Once you deal with the past emotionally relieving the physical pain is easier. Only with professional help is there a clear path. I spent 3 decades taking medications for anxiety and ' phantom' pain. Jumping into relationships with other sufferers just stretched out the years and pain. Taking partial responsibility for my children's life issues is like seasoning to my quest for something to remove the pain. It's difficult to let go of our physical pain without quieting our minds.
Along the way we need a club of same souls. It may be larger than. first expected. Im' in let's go!

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I'm in too let's go!!!

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@lolaemma

Oh yes. A lot of depression and anxiety are part of PTSD. from domestic violence. Just guessing that we are from the ' good old days' when cruelty was part of our lives disguised as tough love. Humiliation perceived as teasing. Whew have to stop reliving my childhood and get to the uplifting part. With .modern attitudes our pain is identified differently. Once you deal with the past emotionally relieving the physical pain is easier. Only with professional help is there a clear path. I spent 3 decades taking medications for anxiety and ' phantom' pain. Jumping into relationships with other sufferers just stretched out the years and pain. Taking partial responsibility for my children's life issues is like seasoning to my quest for something to remove the pain. It's difficult to let go of our physical pain without quieting our minds.
Along the way we need a club of same souls. It may be larger than. first expected. Im' in let's go!

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I would love to be a part of a discussion of depression, anxiety, alcohol dependence and emotional abuse. What a wonderful quote….alone together

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@parus

To those of us with civilian PTSD, treatment resistant major depression, anxiety. etc. as well as chronic pain. I oft wonder how much our past plays in these types of disorders (such a distasteful word as I feel freakish enough) were caused by abusive pasts. a lot I would surmise. The reality of this is evidence enough that many here are tenacious as we drag these weights with us. No self pity just my wandering/wondering mind that marvels at the determination in the events of seemingly insurmountable odds. Together we stand strong and we do matter.
Thanks for the input everyone.

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I think that is a very important point. Thank you,

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@laurry

I would love to be a part of a discussion of depression, anxiety, alcohol dependence and emotional abuse. What a wonderful quote….alone together

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@laurry have you been in contact with AA? Alcohol dependency was the first anonymous program. If you are not in contact with them it has support groups for family including alateens and friends. Not trying to push you away however substance dependency has a combination that has a different starting focus.

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@woogie

I have a question concerning the pain in your feet–is it caused by spinal stenosis? I have spinal stenosis. I have pain in my back and it radiates down my right leg into my foot. I take pain pills. I need something for my depression. My doctor doesn't actually know how bad it is. I haven't told her. I take so many pills as it is, I don't know what wouldn't interfere with them. I am up and down. I have read where it is called rapid cycling. I don't know if I need uppers or downers! I am not kidding. If I had all of you depressed people in one room for a group meeting, I guarantee you, I would have you laughing. Then, after everyone leaves, I go home, I am super depressed. I need people. This isolation is really making me anxious. I could write a book. I will close for the moment. Take care–all of you. God bless and be with you. The Bible says laughter is the best medicine. Yes, it is. Also, another question! Does your doctor ever give you epidurals for the pain?

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@woogi I learned how to send a private message. So, I sent you one. Love and Faith

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@woogie

Hi. I am wondering how you are doing! I was thinking if I had your address, I would send you a card in the mail. I had five boxes of cards delivered to my home (since I don't go to stores). I got them from the Christian Card Company. I love sending cards to people. These cards have Bible verses in them. I got two boxes the same because they are so cute with bunnies an teddie bears on them. I have already sent one full box. I got my dear 94-year-old Christian sister four boxes. She loves writing scripture in cards and sending them to the sick and the lonely. She is a wonderful, strong Christian. I was depressed the other evening–she called me on the phone–we talked for an hour. I was not depressed after we talked. Every one needs a person like her in their life. I met her at an in-home Bible study. The lady who started it went on to be with the Lord. Now, we are supposed to be meeting in a church. She is actually attending–I am not. She is so certain she is going to Heaven, she is looking forward to it. When I read the Bible, I get depressed wondering if I am going to Heaven. I have sinned so much after being saved. I feel guilty. I know Jesus died for me and for you. He came to save the sinners. This I understand. It is so complicated. I know I love Jesus, I love God and I have the Holy Spirit. Anyway, I think of you, I pray each day you are better and better. Repeat, Heal me O' Lord, and I will be healed. There is a wonderful book by Joseph Prince on healing.

Jump to this post

@woogie I can't give you my address. My husband is a cyber-security. He does not trust people. I know you are a Christian. I get cards from a Christian Card Company too. That's sweet of you to want to sent me a card. You will go to heaven, you believe in Jesus and Have you been baptized? You are lucky to have someone to talk too. I really don't and would like to go to a counselor, but my husband doesn't think I need one. So, I just pray. I'm mostly depressed in the morning and get better doing the day. I have a bible study, but they are on zoom.
God has forgiven all your sins, you just have to ask him. We all sin, especially me. I will tell you what I did on the private messages.
I love you, remember that. I'm sure many loves you. Do you go to church. We are Lutheran and we see on our TV the sermon and music and it's just like being there, but on TV He does do communion on Sunday and there can be only 20 and they are put at distances.
He does several different times during Sunday. Love to you and you are saved. God and Jesus loves you. Jeanie

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I see that several of you are asking about starting a new discussion group related to abusive pasts, addiction, PTSD and few other emotional and mental health-related issues. Allow me to give you a brief inventory of Groups and related Discussions that exist:

Group:
– Addiction & Recovery https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/addiction-recovery/

Discussions in the Addiction & Recovery group
– Journaling – The Write Stuff For You? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/
– Sobriety: Are You Just Surviving or Thriving? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/sobriety-are-you-just-surviving-or-thriving/

Group:
Depression & Anxiety https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/depression-anxiety/

Discussions in the Depression & Anxiety group:
– Depression & self criticism because of conflict with family member https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/severe-depression-1/
– What is Self-acceptance? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/what-is-self-acceptance/
– Dealing with a Relationship that has Become Toxic (Gaslighting) https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/relationship/

Group:
Mental Health https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/mental-health/

Discussions in the Mental Health group:
– Anyone Else With PTSD? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/anyone-else-with-ptsd/
– Living with emotionally challenged family https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/living-with-emotionally-challenged-family/

You can also start a new discussion. Be sure to @mention members you wish to invite to join the discussion, whether it is a new discussion or joining an existing discussion.

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@lolaemma

@laurry have you been in contact with AA? Alcohol dependency was the first anonymous program. If you are not in contact with them it has support groups for family including alateens and friends. Not trying to push you away however substance dependency has a combination that has a different starting focus.

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I have been sober for a month and I do AA. Thank you

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Talking about PTSD, past abuses, and ways to cope, is part of a thread in the Mental Health discussion group. Here is a link that you may find beneficial:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/anyone-else-with-ptsd/?pg=1#chv4-comment-stream-header
@laurry @nanashelly @lolaemma @woogie @jimhd Ginger

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One of our volunteer mentors, @sueinmn, posted a couple of tips for coping. She gave me permission to share.
Here is the entire post in the "Let's Go Walking". We often morph in to different subjects while we virtually walk! https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lets-go-walking-join-me-for-a-virtual-walking-support-group/?pg=146#comment-421507

And here are the words in that post:
"Here are the "5 things for 5 senses" it came down from my daughter's therapist when she was struggling. The point is to be "in the present" – what you are experiencing at the moment. Needless to say, try to concentrate on positive imagery.
What I see
What I hear
What I feel (like wind, sunlight, etc OR what I feel emotionally in this moment)
What I smell
What I taste (hardest – I often save it for mealtime)
Here is another exercise that I call "Own it and Let it Go." I use it in anxious/stressful situations.
When confronted with an unpleasant feeling, smell, sight:
I feel [angry that person is not wearing a mask in the store.] I need to remember [he may have a health condition, and that I cannot control anyone else's behavior.] I will [keep my distance, be extra polite to the staff who have to deal with him & get out of here as quickly as I can.] (Deep breath & let it go. Mentally picture your favorite thing)
I feel [anxious] waiting for my test results. I will get my answer [in two days] and then deal with it. Until then I will concentrate on [writing a memoir for my grandson.] (Deep breath…)
I feel [annoyed when I see my neighbor's messy yard.] My neighbor [either doesn't care about yards or has other issues more important to tend.] I will concentrate on [enjoying my own yard] or thinking about [how friendly she is when she sees me.]
I feel [irritated that my daughter hasn't called.] I can [call/text her to be sure she is okay] then find something productive to do. I understand [she is busy helping her sister & working.] I will concentrate on [what a terrific Auntie she is.]
You get the idea. I hope this helps too. Have a great day."

Thank you, Sue!
Ginger

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