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Cumulative Grief

Posted by rivermaya34 @rivermaya34, Nov 15, 2025

Hola Friends! I'm SO thrilled to discover that this group exists! 🙂 I'm dealing with a lot of cumulative grief over the last 7 years from a variety of tragic deaths / various situations, but especially this last week. I am bottom of the list for knowing how to grieve and welcome any support, encouragement or expertise y'all might have. Last week, I found out back-to-back in the span of 20 minutes that 5 of my friends had died. The first one was my best friend, whose funeral I attended today. Grief swept over me like a tidal wave and I convulsively cried as the denial / shock finally wore off (or down). It was ugly, but needed. The other 4 people were an entire family I knew from school - it was a triple murder-suicide. I literally don't know how to process this. It actually dredged up unresolved feelings from my own life experiences, which made it hurt even worse. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to navigate this, especially with upcoming holidays, etc? Definitely a tough time. Many thanks.

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rivermaya34 | @rivermaya34 | 5 days ago
In reply to @dmb7 "@rivermaya34 I know what you mean about feeling unloved. It took most of my years to..." + (show)
Profile picture for Donna Mae Baukat @dmb7

@rivermaya34
I know what you mean about feeling unloved. It took most of my years to realize that God never intended for us to feel unloved. I testified to that in my book that was finally published a few months ago. Our spirituality can be compromised by just feeling "unloved". This is the realization that I had to learn from looking at a fruit (the pineapple) and seeing the analogy of spirituality for my body, soul and mind.
Great that your birthday was remembered by people who love you. God created us to lean on each other for love. Only His children are capable of knowing what His love for us means. Sometimes and most always in my life as I confess--we forget that the only love we need is from our Lord and Savior. Father God is our first love, after all! He's the only one that will not ever forsake us. You are loved my friend.

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@dmb7 Amen - agreed. We must be somewhat similar bc I've written a book also about my life and intend to publish it by EOY, Lord-willing. Love the pineapple analogy! I have some similar ones, too.

Today was another test, as it was really rough on several levels. One of my best friends had a heart attack today, which caught me off guard and dredged up past grief. I lost my previous best friend last November for the same reason. I'm glad for shock, as it acts as a temporary buffer before it all settles in. Rn, I'm trying to shut myself down and sleep it off. Not working so well, tho. Just really glad for this group.

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Donna Mae Baukat | @dmb7 | 5 days ago
In reply to @rivermaya34 "@dmb7 Amen - agreed. We must be somewhat similar bc I've written a book also about..." + (show)
Profile picture for rivermaya34 @rivermaya34

@dmb7 Amen - agreed. We must be somewhat similar bc I've written a book also about my life and intend to publish it by EOY, Lord-willing. Love the pineapple analogy! I have some similar ones, too.

Today was another test, as it was really rough on several levels. One of my best friends had a heart attack today, which caught me off guard and dredged up past grief. I lost my previous best friend last November for the same reason. I'm glad for shock, as it acts as a temporary buffer before it all settles in. Rn, I'm trying to shut myself down and sleep it off. Not working so well, tho. Just really glad for this group.

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@rivermaya34
Ouch! I'm so sorry about the friend you heard about who had a heart attack! Why someone has to lose so many loved ones multiple of times is so difficult to comprehend.
Be good to yourself. Take the time to feel that loss and know that your endurance will be strengthened by God's caring angels. You can take refuge under his pinions. His wings are soft and gentle where you can find shelter and know he will always be at your side. Have a blessed week, my new friend and sister in Christ. May His everlasting love bring rejoicing in the mourning.

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rivermaya34 | @rivermaya34 | 4 days ago
In reply to @dmb7 "@rivermaya34 Ouch! I'm so sorry about the friend you heard about who had a heart attack!..." + (show)
Profile picture for Donna Mae Baukat @dmb7

@rivermaya34
Ouch! I'm so sorry about the friend you heard about who had a heart attack! Why someone has to lose so many loved ones multiple of times is so difficult to comprehend.
Be good to yourself. Take the time to feel that loss and know that your endurance will be strengthened by God's caring angels. You can take refuge under his pinions. His wings are soft and gentle where you can find shelter and know he will always be at your side. Have a blessed week, my new friend and sister in Christ. May His everlasting love bring rejoicing in the mourning.

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@dmb7 Thank you so much. Thankfully, my friend was truly lucky as the situation could have panned out in a really negative way. My friend is finally home after getting stents and gave a much better report today, as opposed to yesterday. Very grateful for preserved life. On the notion of "being good to myself" ... that's something I don't excel in - actually, far the opposite. I tend to make myself really busy or shut down early to sleep, rather than sitting and dealing with my emotions. So many losses over these years, I feel like some days that the target on my back is extended to include friends/family because of how many people keep getting hurt around me, while I'm left with survivor's guilt. It's tough, but I still have hope nonetheless.

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