Coping with miscarriage

I am sorry for your loss. I ran across missinggrace.org when I was looking for something else. They appear to have their own online support group(look under:about,supportgroup,then online) in addition to many helping sources listed under resources.

I am so sorry- my own miscarriage was approx 10 weeks in. So gut-wrenchingly sad I know. It took me a long time to get through that, oh I felt lonely, couldn't justify it in my mind either. It was compounded by the fact it was 2 days before Christmas-I put away the little booties I bought, cried alot, and overly loved the children I did have. Then one day it seemed maybe I didn't cry as much, little better another day. I was a wreck when a couple years later I became pregnant again- I was so nervous the entire time. But it did go ok. I will tell you that the following Christmas, I started putting those little booties on our tree- to honor that little baby who was sitting in the hands of Jesus! I guess that thought helped me the most. But allow yourself to grieve- you've lost a child and the pain is real- and while it may always be present in some way, the intensity will abate. I wish you luck.

thank you very much. I got the email that you posted on my profile, and apparently i have some friend requests, but i cant get my profile to do anything.

thank you for the kind words. I am sorry for your loss as well. I have my ups and downs. Its been 2 weeks today, but it feels like a lifetime. thanks again

Mandy
Words don't seem to help,
The help you are looking for is within you. My daughter lost a baby to at 3 months,but she was able to deal with it, she was lucky. I am sure that when you get up in the morning and go to bed, it is always there.
In our newspaper, a woman wrote an article about losing 3 babies. She said that she was in a restaurant, she saw a woman with 3 children and noticed that she was pregnant.

She went home to her grandma's house and her grandma put her arms around her while she sobed. I cried the whole day about her.
I hope that you can find your peace.

Barb

Hi Mandy,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that words don't really help much but I understand a little bit. I had two biological children that were healthy. I was in my 30's. Then I got pregnant in my 40's and miscarried after a few months. My fetus never developed or had a heart beat like yours. My husband and I were both on medication and weren't planning to have a child. I gained weight just as if I were 3 months pregnant and having a child. It was a difficult time. There are no words to express what you are going through. Just know that you are not alone.

I do hope you are feeling better. You are very fortunate to have a four year old son with you. I'm sure he is a blessing.

Was it a boy or girl or did you know? It’s difficult and you need to grieve as you have lost a child. My first baby died within 12 hours of birth. You are not alone. I believe your baby is now in heaven and will become complete. You can see him or her some day. Your body is going through changes now emotionally and physically. It’s important that you take care of yourself. Set up an exercise program and have your son get involved. Think of things you can do together. It’s hard to be positive when your body is screaming pain but count your blessings.

@mandyg. I'm so sorry for your lost I never did lose a child but you should have grief counseling I think it might benefit you as a loved one died Talking and listening to God will help I know when I lost my husband I was angry and told him just to get your feelings out helped me at his grave After I talked and cried I felt better maybe this would help you too. Bless you

Hi, @jo54 - I have never personally lost a baby, but I can only imagine the pain and heartache it would cause, whether it was a miscarriage or a baby who died after birth. It would be tragic.

I'd also like to invite @sandytoes14 @karihammel @liyana @phoenixzip @lupusjourney @moables011 @peggyella @java_mom @roxy1992 @artscaping @vthatch @amh9999 into this conversation on coping with miscarriage, as you've mentioned on Connect the loss of a baby, through miscarriage or otherwise, or that someone close to you had this experience. You are under no obligation to share, but hoping you might have some thoughts on ways to cope.

@jo54 - you mentioned exercise as a help in a time of loss of a baby. Any other ideas on how to make it through when you've had a miscarriage or early loss of a baby?

Good morning @mandyg, @lisalucier, I think I can write about this tragedy in my life. I try to tuck away the sadness. Years ago, I was rear-ended on an off-ramp in Pittsburg. The result was that I went into labor. At that time, doctors used morphine to calm things down. It helped me but also suppressed my son's lungs and he died 3 days later.

Also at that time, the belief was that no one could talk to you about your loss. My family was told to not let me go to the ceremony or burial. I had to stay home by myself. That was also the time when many friends and colleagues were told to emphasize that I should remember I already had a 3-year-old daughter. I should be grateful.

That didn't work either. Grief is difficult when the world says you shouldn't be grieving. Please be careful that you seek help if you are not sleeping even if it means you need to admit yourself for psychiatric care.

My grandchildren have filled the emptiness and my life partner has validated the sadness that sometimes just comes.

So what was the best therapy for me? My life partner's son lost his mother in a car accident the day he came home from deployment in the Gulf war. He and I have developed a close bond, he for his mother and me for my son. May you find happiness and joy. Chris