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coping with miscarraige

Posted by @mandyg in Mental Health, Sep 14, 2011

Hello. I am 28, I have a four year old son, and I recently lost my pregnancy at 13 weeks. I am having a very difficult time dealing with my grief. I haven't slept in days. It hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't know that I had lost the baby. I went in for a routine check up and the nurse could not find my baby's heartbeat on the doppler. I was then moved back to have a scan, where it was confirmed that my baby had indeed died. I was taken by surprise, and as a result I feel like I am losing my mind. I had the d&c yesterday and I have been hysterical since. I was hoping that someone on here who maybe has been through this could give me some advice as to how i am supposed to move on. How am I supposed to live my life now? I don't even know where to begin. Just 3 short weeks ago I had my first ultrasound and the baby looked perfectly fine, even had a heart rate of 174 bpm. How does this happen? How can a fetus be thriving and healthy one week and gone the next? Any help would be wonderful. Thannk you.

Tags: pregnancy, Other, mental health


Posted by @2, Sep 20, 2011

I am sorry for your loss. I ran across when I was looking for something else. They appear to have their own online support group(look under:about,supportgroup,then online) in addition to many helping sources listed under resources.


Posted by @mandyg, Sep 26, 2011

thank you very much. I got the email that you posted on my profile, and apparently i have some friend requests, but i cant get my profile to do anything.


Posted by @chrissylou29, Sep 26, 2011

I am so sorry- my own miscarriage was approx 10 weeks in. So gut-wrenchingly sad I know. It took me a long time to get through that, oh I felt lonely, couldn't justify it in my mind either. It was compounded by the fact it was 2 days before Christmas-I put away the little booties I bought, cried alot, and overly loved the children I did have. Then one day it seemed maybe I didn't cry as much, little better another day. I was a wreck when a couple years later I became pregnant again- I was so nervous the entire time. But it did go ok. I will tell you that the following Christmas, I started putting those little booties on our tree- to honor that little baby who was sitting in the hands of Jesus! I guess that thought helped me the most. But allow yourself to grieve- you've lost a child and the pain is real- and while it may always be present in some way, the intensity will abate. I wish you luck.


Posted by @mandyg, Sep 26, 2011

thank you for the kind words. I am sorry for your loss as well. I have my ups and downs. Its been 2 weeks today, but it feels like a lifetime. thanks again


Posted by @barbaramangan, Oct 5, 2011

Words don't seem to help,
The help you are looking for is within you. My daughter lost a baby to at 3 months,but she was able to deal with it, she was lucky. I am sure that when you get up in the morning and go to bed, it is always there.
In our newspaper, a woman wrote an article about losing 3 babies. She said that she was in a restaurant, she saw a woman with 3 children and noticed that she was pregnant.

She went home to her grandma's house and her grandma put her arms around her while she sobed. I cried the whole day about her.
I hope that you can find your peace.



Posted by @nativefloridian, Oct 17, 2011

Hi Mandy,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that words don't really help much but I understand a little bit. I had two biological children that were healthy. I was in my 30's. Then I got pregnant in my 40's and miscarried after a few months. My fetus never developed or had a heart beat like yours. My husband and I were both on medication and weren't planning to have a child. I gained weight just as if I were 3 months pregnant and having a child. It was a difficult time. There are no words to express what you are going through. Just know that you are not alone.

I do hope you are feeling better. You are very fortunate to have a four year old son with you. I'm sure he is a blessing.

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