Caregiver Burnout

Do you mean you don't know how to talk her into going into a facility? Or, how to afford one? Or, how to find a good one? I'm glad you found this online support group. You may find helpful ideas if you look through what other people have posted. You also need to prioritize your own mental health. Do you have anyone that can give you a break? Maybe you can have your mother stay in a facility for a short while as a respite for you.

I can only imagine how you are feeling. You are carrying a lot. Most states, I believe, have an elder affairs or aging services agency. Here in Florida, we have https://elderaffairs.org/. They have a hotline that helps put you in touch with programs that you and/or your mother might be eligible for. I think they could at least point you in the right direction and put you in contact with someone who can assist and guide you. I'm wishing you the best.

I might certainly seek more help, but first seek advice from an elder law attorney. If her home is on your property…..an attorney should be able to provide guidance. It’s really important.

I’m going to have to get one. Thank you. I don’t know what they cost but, I don’t think I have any choice anymore.

You might seek a consultation, initially. Usually, an experienced elder law attorney understands the predicaments adult children of seniors who need care and/or placement are in, both with finances and legal authority. They should be able to provide advice and options with the consult.

@red888 I was starting to burn out as well and feeling i was at the end of my rope. I was thinking I could handle taking care of my 63 yo husband by myself, who has alzheimers caused by dementia ( diagnosed at 60 years old). My best friend of 20 years couldn't bear to see me keep giving things up that i enjoy and she finally sat me down and we have a great talk...and yes, there were tears on my side. I looked at placing him in a facility, I took the tour and went thru the financial application part ( i was looking into getting help) and then realized that I wasn't ready to let him go. Mainly because he can still do some basic stuff with come guidance and I still needed to be near him every day. I know it sounds like a lot of "me, me, me" but he IS my #1 priority and the love of my life. SO i decided to go another route (because remember, I thought I could do this by myself, and I couldn't any longer) and I now have an in-home care giver for respite and what a HUGE difference it has made. I can count on her to be here certain days of the week so I plan around that and get the much needed breaks I need. She is mainly my "babysitter" and it's kept me from burning out and i'm starting to enjoy life again and i know he's being well looked after. Maybe you can look into respite care. Because if you burn out it might lead to you not taking care of "yourself" health-wise and that won't be good for either one of you,
Are you attending support groups for caregivers? Going to support groups has been a life saver for me cuz I get suggestions I never thought of. And it's comforting to know that others are going thru the same thing and can help me with their suggestions to try and some of them have worked. 🙂
This journey is hard for everyone involved and i wish you the best!!!!
Love, hugs and strength to you

Thank you for your help. I have a sitter for her when I’m working 3 days a week. It’s when I’m off that I need to be able to do some fun stuff. Not just running errands for her and taking care of her when I’m off. I can’t afford to pay the sitter more than 3 days a week. My friend has also sat me down and told me the same for thing. She suggested looking into personal care homes…. If I can find a good place. I do need to join a support group. Thank you so much.

Have you herd about PACE? It is Adult daycare where your mom would spend the day or maybe a few hours where she is cared for and enjoy a nice time socializing with seniors,working on arts and crafts, putting a puzzle together. There is a PACE Bus that picks her up. You will have some time for yourself to rest. I hope this help helps you🙏💕

No, I haven’t. I will check it out! Thank you so much. 😊

As I try to care for my parents, especially my dad, I recall reading about people continuing to live at home when their care needs become so great. He may say he doesn’t want to go to a facility, but it’s like they are already in a care home, but I’m the only staff member. If I were to place them in a facility, I wouldn’t consider a place that had one staff member and that one staff member working 24/7, which is similar to what I do now. At least I’m on call 24/7. I know in my situation, it’s not feasible, not sustainable.