Caregiver for stroke patient: Anyone experiencing burnout?

I had a stroke a year ago, am still recovering, and am the main caregiver for my husband, who has had multiple major health problems for the last several years. Very stressful. 'Difficult" doesn't even begin to explain it.
Can you get some assistance?

I am still recovering from multi strokes that I have had.
My 81 yr old husband is the sole caregiver, who is exhausted taking care of me. He had an open heart surgery few yrs ago and is recuperating, when I got my cancer diagnosis and multi strokes. I am on Hospice care, as I am tired of all lab works, scans and Drs visits.

If you are tired, like I am, join Hospice in your state. Keep looking for help in the mean. Time.
VJ

@grrranny Unfortunately in the US, like so many other things, the amount of help you can get is directly associated with the amount of money you have. I don't know if Meals on Wheels could provide assistance with meals (not much help, I know). Maybe someone will have some more helpful suggestions. Best to you

My wife had a stroke 9 years ago I am her caregiver. I also have a daughter that is intecually impaired that also needs help. I find myself sometimes not been able to cope with both of them. My wife and myself have been married for 45 years. She can talk but has not got full use of her left hand side of body. I need to do everything for her dressing cleaning etc. I also keep the house clean and do all the cooking. I findyself at times wishing that I could do more to improve the quality of life my wife and daughter have but am unable to do so. Is there anyone going through the same situation that can give me some advice.

Hi @gavfairlands, and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You've had a lot on your plate, taking care of an intellectually impaired daughter and your wife who had a stroke.

I moved your post here so that you could chat with others who have been caregivers for stroke patients and potentially an intellectually impaired individual:

- Caregiver for stroke patient: Anyone experiencing burnout? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/caregiver-3

Please know this is not meant to "diagnose" you with burnout in any way, but I thought that you'd meet others in this thread who might have helpful input for you.

Hoping members will have ideas on how to improve the quality of life your daughter and wife have presently. Please meet @grrranny @lylii @vijay26 and others here in this discussion.

What are you feeling is lacking in the quality of life for your daughter and wife presently, gavfairlands?

Thanks for feedback. I at times just feel hopeless that I cannot improve the quality of their lives. Everything costs so much. I also do not receive any assistance from family who at time are very quick to criticize me. For example I was told that I was not watering the pot plants. To me looking after my wife is more important than a pot plant. I feel that the family look more towards my wife's physical condition than to me who is her caregiver. I am the main person that my wife turns to and am also involved in her illness

Yes me as well. My wife had a stroke 9 years ago

I had a stroke more than 7 years ago.
I'm very limited in my mobility, but my cognitive skills are okay.
My wife is pretty tired of my disability, though she never complains.
I do my best to make sure she knows I appreciate all she does, plus I chip in where I can -- some simple meal prep, bringing her stuff, not being demanding, etc.
And when she needs to get away, to visit family, etc., I take care of myself (I'm good on my own for a week or so.)

It must be working... she hasn't poisoned me yet!

@gavfairlands, You are doing a wonderful thing taking care of both of them! That's admirable and a lot of work. I was my husband's caregiver when he had lung cancer. We were getting up 3 times a night when he had breathless attacks and had to use his nebulizer. He needed me to set it up for him. That was very tiring on both of us. But we loved each other as I'm sure you love your wife and daughter. Tell them both how much you love them. There may be a time when you can't tell them that. My husband died in 2024. I'm so glad that we told each other how much we loved each other. We also prayed together. Give all your problems up to God. He'll handle them for you. I'll say a prayer for all three of you.
PML

@gavfairlands
I don't know where you live or if medical marijuana is legal there, but if so it may be helpful in keeping them happier. My wife began her health journey in 2017 with the first of many different illnesses: they just kept piling on one after the other until first she had trouble walking, then became wheelchair bound, then unable to get in or out of the car, then was completely bedridden. I was her primary (and only) caregiver until hospice arrived on the scene and they were truly a godsend. Her final blow and downslide came with the unexpected death of our adult son She just gave up and quit eating and drinking. I'm alone now and truly wish that she was still here for me to take care of. Be thankful that you still have a wife to take care of. Bless you and keep on truckin'